Greetings from southwest Florida

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Greetings from southwest Florida

Postby q1000101 on Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:26 pm

Hello all. I'm new here.

I've been an atheist all my life, raised in a secular family, and proud of that fact. But in the past few years both of my siblings have joined this strange cosmic cannibal zombie cult - they drink blood and eat the rotting flesh of some ancient being that died and came back to life, on account of this is going to make them live forever, or something like that. I don't know all the details on how it works, but you get to put a little fish on your car when you join this cult or club or whatever it is. They seem happy about it, and they get to go on picnics every now and again too!!!

So not wanting to be left out, I figured it was never too late for me to hop on the church bandwagon. All that cannibal zombie stuff sounded a little gross and messy, so I passed on that one. After carefully looking at all my options, it came down to either this or Scientology, a hard decision I left up to the flip of a coin. Well, the coin toss turned up heads, and here I am.

I'll be checking things out over the next few days and weeks. Just wanted to say hello and give a brief little intro.

PS Is there a 10% tithe I'm supposed to send somewhere?
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Re: Greetings from southwest Florida

Postby DaveL on Fri Aug 07, 2009 4:05 pm

Welcome aboard matey,

We are here to parody intelligent design being taught as science in the classroom.

However, you've made a wise choice (or divine coin toss) for a number of reasons.

1. While we arn't cannibals, we do eat out deity.
2. No tithing necessary - although pillaging and plundering is permitted in full pirate regalia;
3. No dudes in shopping malls doing "stress tests" We only have higher order eatin', not higher order Thetan;

Have fun here!
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Re: Greetings from southwest Florida

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial on Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:22 pm

An' while yer at it, me binary frennd, ye mite want ter make yer fust owe-fish-awl post in this hyere thredd hyar. Less'n ye wants Cap on yer tail. Well-come ter th' four ums!
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

OK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.
-- Dr. Joy

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."
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Re: Greetings from southwest Florida

Postby q1000101 on Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:02 pm

Thanks for the welcome, guys. I can see I've got a lot of catching up to do. And lots of FAQs to read, also.

I recall last year a big Pirate Festival here in Fort Myers. I didn't attend, but all day long when I was driving around doing my errands, everywhere I looked there were Pirates. That was in my old days as an atheist, before I discovered FSMism, and now I'm wondering if there was a correlation between that Pirate Fest and FSM. And now that I think about it, the earth seemed just a bit cooler that day. A temporary reversal of global warming, perhaps?

:worship:
It sucks being a newb. I guess you gotta start somewhere though.
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