Pastafarian research

The place for general discussion about the Flying Spaghetti Monster and most things related to Him.

Moderator: All Things Mods

Pastafarian research

Postby serenissima on Sun Nov 15, 2009 7:14 pm

As a research assistant for the revised edition of Boy R. Dee’s Pastafarianism for Dummies, I thought I should turn to the atheologians and philosophers here for assistance with the development of my thesis on Gnosticism. (Gnosis: the esoteric knowledge of spiritual truth held by the ancient Gnostics to be essential to salvation.)

I was shocked to learn how many historians and philosophers have failed to acknowledge that ancient texts on Gnosticism had their origins in Pastafarian oral history. Inaccuracies of scribes, poor translations have led to some basic misconceptions. But my initial readings reveal Gnosis is clearly derived from the Pastafarian word Gnocchi. And it is not salvation the Elders were trying to achieve, but instead it was salivation (so easy to drop one simple letter...) Through the Rites of Chianti followers learned to pronounce Gnocchi, understand Gnocchi, and achieve an enlightened state, followed by salivating. The enlightened state, known as AlDente, could only be reached by intensive study, meditation and years of carbo-loading.

The Gnostic (Gnocchic) view of god is pastatheistic, that is the Flying Spaghetti Monster dwells in all things pasta and via emanation, all things are pasta. Emanation explains the creation of the world by a series of radiations originating out of :fsm: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. When thinking of the visual representations of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, such an accurate description is uncannny.

I’m still early in my research, but soon I hope to know more about Cheeses and early Gnocchics. Indications are that a controversy about the main ingredient of the primordial ooze (potatoes vs. flour) was involved. And what about the later Gnocchics known as Strozzapreti (priest-stranglers)? This is clearly against modern day Pastafarian canon.

Of course, no Gnocchic commentary would be complete without reference to Sophia, the figure of wisdom in Gnocchism. We admire this figure even today in the great philosopher Sophia Loren, who once said, “All that you see is owed to spaghetti.”

May His Noodly Apppendages bless my work.
Life is a combination of magic and pasta. - Federico Fellini
User avatar
serenissima
Conchigliette Convert
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2009 6:10 am
Location: U.S.

Re: Pastafarian research

Postby Ham Nox on Wed Nov 25, 2009 7:06 pm

My Goodness! I'd never before considered the link between gnosticism and pastafarianism, though now that the theory is spoke clear in front of me I feel surprised I never made the connection before. I once held a mild interest in the teachings of gnosticism.. I must have subconsciously recognized the seeds of truth it still held from its ancient predecessor.
I am not terribly well versed in pastafarian or gnocchic history, so I'm not much help there.. Though I wonder if the controversy about the main ingredient of the primordial ooze was really either potatoes or flour--seems to me that tomatoes are a much more likely component.
Bayes Theorum:
............................P(X|A) * P(A)
P(A|X) = -----------------------------------
...............P(X|A) * P(A) + P(X|~A) * P(~A)

If I have learnt anything, it is that life forms no logical patterns. It is haphazard and full of beauties which I try to catch as they fly by, for who knows whether any of them will ever return?
Margot Fonteyn

~*L'Nox ti notve*~
User avatar
Ham Nox
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2600
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:44 pm
Location: Utah

Re: Pastafarian research

Postby LibraLabRat on Wed Nov 25, 2009 9:14 pm

Lol wut?
'There are no atheists in foxholes' isn't an argument against atheism, it's an argument against foxholes."
-James Morrow
User avatar
LibraLabRat
Humble Hermit
 
Posts: 1663
Joined: Fri Nov 04, 2005 7:29 am
Location: Denham Springs, LA

Re: Pastafarian research

Postby daftbeaker on Thu Nov 26, 2009 4:15 pm

Spam?
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
User avatar
daftbeaker
Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
 
Posts: 11296
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:11 pm
Location: Surrey, England.

Re: Pastafarian research

Postby Zeno Telos on Mon Dec 07, 2009 1:18 pm

serenissima wrote:And it is not salvation the Elders were trying to achieve, but instead it was salivation (so easy to drop one simple letter...) Through the Rites of Chianti followers learned to pronounce Gnocchi, understand Gnocchi, and achieve an enlightened state, followed by salivating....

The Gnostic (Gnocchic) view of god is pastatheistic, that is the Flying Spaghetti Monster dwells in all things pasta and via emanation, all things are pasta. Emanation explains the creation of the world by a series of radiations originating out of :fsm: the Flying Spaghetti Monster.


This is fascinating. You should submit it to the Scripture and Lore section. This needs to be at least mentioned in the Pastafarian cannon. Meanwhile, I will continue working on achieving a state of salivation. Perhaps more knowledge will be revealed.
“He dangled his noodly appendage before me and soon I knew paradise.”
-zenotelos.com
User avatar
Zeno Telos
Conchigliette Convert
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Oct 31, 2009 7:38 am
Location: Greece, home of the gods


Return to All Things FSM

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron