Church of Pastology

[Cap'n Tedward]

Wow, y'all do things different outside of Hollywood....
Here at the local Church of Pastology You're given a simple examination that you can take on the street to evaluate if you NEED the noodly one, then we hook you up to a machine designed to separate the alfredo from the marinara. Through careful interrogation this machine can evaluate your 'Pastan" level, and allow us to guide you through a [lengthy and expensive] process of freeing yourself from your Pastan and becoming a fully actualized member of the Forum.