Ponderance...

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Ponderance...

Postby nocturnum on Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:41 am

I am new to these forums and you could say that I am a fence-sitter. I have not yet converted to Pastafarianism, compelling though it may be, due to a lack of understanding. I have not yet purchased a Gospel, as I cannot decide upon which translation is best for someone new to the religion. I do, however, have some questions. Questions that I feel are pertinent in the grand scheme of things, I feel as though there is more than meets the eye in this world.

1) How does FSM look upon those who disapprove of drunkeness?
2) How does FSM look upon ninjas and robots?
3) How has FSM, in all of his drunken splendor, managed not to be contested by some arch-villain of some kind? (Or has he, and by whom?)
4) Could there be another who wanders infinity alongside FSM and his possible nemesis, of neutral persuasion?
5) Could the hypothetical greater evil and ultimate neutrality of the cosmos be responsible for the existance of ninjas and robots, respectively?

I know not if these subjects are touched by the Gospels, or if there are any among you who could answer me, but I seek only truth and eagerly await response,

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Re: Ponderance...

Postby fueledbycoffee on Wed Jan 07, 2009 1:44 am

nocturnum wrote:1) How does FSM look upon those who disapprove of drunkeness?


Apathy, most probably. He's not big on the whole "judgment" thing.

2) How does FSM look upon ninjas and robots?


I have no idea.

3) How has FSM, in all of his drunken splendor, managed not to be contested by some arch-villain of some kind? (Or has he, and by whom?)


He has a rogue's gallery, certainly. Here's a couple:
http://www.discovery.org/
http://www.templeton.org/
http://www.ksde.org/
http://www.atkins.com/

4) Could there be another who wanders infinity alongside FSM and his possible nemesis, of neutral persuasion?


I have no idea.

5) Could the hypothetical greater evil and ultimate neutrality of the cosmos be responsible for the existance of ninjas and robots, respectively?


Possibly.

I know not if these subjects are touched by the Gospels, or if there are any among you who could answer me, but I seek only truth and eagerly await response,


I have given thee as much illumination as you will need. You may bow before my infinite wisdom.
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Re: Ponderance...

Postby Ubi Dubium on Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:07 pm

You seem to be wondering if there is a great Anti-Pasta out there somewhere. Someone who disapproves of piracy and pillaging and drunkeness. Someone who would ban the comsuming of sacred meatballs on Holy Friday. A being who would claim infallibility, and tell people not to wear condoms, and wear really nice red designer shoes.

Nope, can't think of any.
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out

"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
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Re: Ponderance...

Postby moodydaniel on Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:16 pm

Ninjas are pirates for children
Our Flyer,
Who drink in heaven,
FSM be thy name,
Thy ketchup come,
Thy sauce be done,
On earth as it's served in heaven.
Give us this day our garlic bread,
And forgive over cooked Tagliatelle,
As we forgive those who serve it to us.
And lead us not into takeaways,
Who deliver pizzas so evil.
For thine is the pasta, al dente cooked spaghetti.
For breakfast and dinner,
RAmen
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Re: Ponderance...

Postby Treecosys on Tue Feb 03, 2009 2:21 pm

Aye, Ninja is just a japanese word for Pirates with low self-confidence. Why else would they hide their faces! :D
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Re: Ponderance...

Postby Pirate Terramort on Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:16 pm

1) How does FSM look upon those who disapprove of drunkeness?


I agree with Ubi. Probably apathetic. Although, the FSM himself is known to binge...

2) How does FSM look upon ninjas and robots?


I have come to the conclusion, through many years of study and research, that Ninjas are, in fact, the Pirate's closest relative. In ancient Japan, Pirates were hunted ruthlessly by the Samurai and other powerful, government sponsored organizations. Near the brink of extinction, a great Pirate, "Platinum" Oz-Haki, was visited by the FSM and was told to shave his glorious, silver beard, and don upon himself the garb of the Black Noodle. That is the say, the ninja cloak. Teaching others this of stealth, speed, and cunning, the Pirates quickly dissipated into the night. Time passed, and eventually, being a Ninja was no longer required. It is now believed by many that, order to preserve ones lifespan, that one should be a Ninja-Pirate. a.k.a. Have fun, wear an eye patch during the day, then kick ass and disappear during the night.

As for robots - I do not think the FSM approves of truly intelligent robots. They are mans greatest threat in retro Sci-Fi films, and may one day attempt to rival the FSM, believing they are gods. (See Issac Asimov's book, I, Robot

3) How has FSM, in all of his drunken splendor, managed not to be contested by some arch-villain of some kind? (Or has he, and by whom?)


Because, while He may not be in the best judgment at the time of drunkenness, the FSM also can't think very clearly. How many of us are able to accidentally create a super-intelligent, laser equipped robot while uber-intoxicated? I think the FSM's greatest threat may eventually come from humans themselves. However, I have spent most of study in the area of science and history, and may not know the full story.

4) Could there be another who wanders infinity alongside FSM and his possible nemesis, of neutral persuasion


See above.

5) Could the hypothetical greater evil and ultimate neutrality of the cosmos be responsible for the existence of ninjas and robots, respectively?


Uhhhh, not yet. As far as I know. We have learned that Ninjas are, apparently, the result of the FSM, and robots, the result of meddling humans. So, perhaps one day, robots may attempt to rival the FSM himself.


May you all have a happy, piraty existence, and may you never encounter intelligent robots. :worship: :fsm_float:
Sincerely,
Drew Anderson, Th. D.
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High Magus of the Wise Council of World Pasta

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Re: Ponderance...

Postby Treecosys on Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:16 pm

Hmm...Is there a theoretical Garden of Eden for pastafarians?
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Re: Ponderance...

Postby Tigger_the_Wing on Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:32 pm

Treecosys wrote:Hmm...Is there a theoretical Garden of Eden for pastafarians?


I think it would be in Italy, wherever the spaghetti bushes are growing.
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Re: Ponderance...

Postby Ubi Dubium on Wed Feb 04, 2009 11:44 pm

Treecosys wrote:Hmm...Is there a theoretical Garden of Eden for pastafarians?

It's the Olive Garden of Eden, thank you very much!
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out

"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
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Re: Ponderance...

Postby Treecosys on Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:06 am

Oh yes, my mistake. Thank you for the correction :D
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