arr. its a bit early, but i doubt anyone is complainin'
When Peteâ€™s ship was done, a classic Viking ship with some new touches, he assembled a few Norsemen interested in getting a tan, and set of. They sailed for two weeks, but one day, as the sun rose an illuminated the vast atlantic ocean, they saw smoke from where the carribean should be. â€œwhart in thar name oâ€™ pastaâ€¦â€ Pete directed his men to pick up speed and get there as soon as possible. They came into port at San Juan, which was thoroughly in flames. There was another ship, classic pirate style, and there seemed to be some pilfering going on. â€œarr ye scurvy dogs, search the who isle fer any informatin!â€ Pete ordered his men â€œTiny, come with me, weâ€™re checkinâ€™ out that thar ship.â€ â€œbut I want to go pillaging, eh!â€ â€œye can pillage when we done! Now quite yer whining and help me!â€ Pete and Tiny crept on to the ship. But luckily, all the guards were drunk out of their minds. Pete motioned for Tiny to check out the Captians cabin. â€œthereâ€™s someone in there eh. eâ€™s defiantly their capâ€™nâ€ â€œarm goinâ€™ in.â€ Pete said as he pulled out his sword. He busted the door down to see a wethered pirate capâ€™n, and none other than Nikta.
â€œNiktaâ€¦ Larts time ah saw ye, ye were a half â€˜sploded corpse.â€ â€œyess, well, I have come back, and I now rule the carribean! Any pirate who disobeyes me dies, and Iâ€™ve ordered all itallian and high-carb food to be eliminated.â€ Nikta said slyly. â€œye sick freak.â€ â€œwhy thank you Peteyâ€ Petey clenched his sword as Nikta turned to the captian. â€œIâ€™m terribly sorry we couldnâ€™t do business sir.â€ He stabbed him through the heart, â€œbut I have some other things to attend to.â€ And with that, he disappeared. â€œahm gonna kill himâ€¦ Tiny!â€ Tiny walked in. â€œget all thar pirates on thisâ€™n island. Make sure they know Iâ€™m their commodor. Yeâ€™ll be me first mate, and ushnorâ€™ll be captian oâ€™ me other ship.â€ â€œWHAT? Whatâ€™s so special about him, EH?â€ â€œwell, it mights whell be â€˜is ship. I favor a good pirate ship oâ€™er a Viking, and â€˜es Viking, and I wanna keep ye on me ship, to help me.â€ â€œriiiight... eh.â€ Tiny said, leaving to round up the pirates.
It took some time, but Pete finally got all the pirates on the island together, and had a meeting with Tiny and Ushnor. â€œalrighâ€™ â€˜eres the plan. It seems thart Nikta â€˜as almost done, sa I thinkinâ€™ thart heâ€™s going to finnish it all where it started.â€ â€œand wheres that?â€ Ushnor asked. â€œtha very same isle where me anâ€™ Tiny stowed away on Mad Jacks ship. Iâ€™ll give ye the coordinates after the mettinâ€™, Ushnor. Weâ€™ll meet up art thar only Itallian restaurant left. Tharts where wheâ€™ll find Nikta. Now lets go get â€˜em!â€ and with utmost speed, Pete and Ushnor made it to the island by sunset.
Pete sent a few men to sabatoge Niktas ship, wile taking himself, Ushnor, Tiny, and a few other pirates, to go to the restaurant. They busted the door down and saw a Chef arguing with Nikta. â€œplease-a, this is-a all Iâ€™ve-a got-a! If ya donâ€™ stop-a right now-a, Iâ€™m-a gonna hafta kill you-a.â€ â€œexcuse me Hector, it seems we have a visitor. Pete, Iâ€™m surprised you didnâ€™t get here earlier. Ah well, I suppose if you want to spend a little more time alive, thatâ€™s fine with me. but now, you must perish.â€ A trap door opened in the ground, and Pete and Ushnor fell into a pit fifteen feet underground. â€œAlright men, douse the plase with gasoline, eh.â€ â€œTINY! YOU MUTINOUS DOG!â€ Pete said. â€œI really donâ€™t see how you are supprised Petey, oh well. your foolishness, your death, as they say.â€ Nikta said, turning back to Hector. â€œnow then, what do you say to me leaving you here to burn to death with your beloved pasta?â€ â€œthatâ€™s-a better death than-a anything-a else.â€ â€œgood. I hope you die slowly and painfully. Lets go men!â€ Nikta left with Tiny and the other pirates following him. Before they closed the doors, Tiny threw a match onto the gasoline, and the restaurant was engulfed in flames. Hector srambled to get some Spaghetti, and brought it over to the pit. â€œhere-a, grab-a onto-a this-a.â€ Pete did so, and miraculously, the pasta did not break. Ushnor came up as well. â€œnow whart?â€ Pete asked Hector. â€œwell-a Iâ€™d-a like to live-a, and-a KILL that-a jerk-a.â€ Ushnor smashed a window open, â€œEY! If yer done conversing, Iâ€™d like to get out of this place!â€ Pete nodded, and they all escaped just as the building collapsed.
â€œso, â€˜Ector, Ye know anything bout pirating?â€ Pete asked Hector. â€œyes-a mi papi was-a pirate. And I-a know-a little bout-a boat-a-ing.â€ â€œwell how are we going to do anything without a ship? He took yours and burned mine, the scalawag.â€ Ushnor added. â€œyar, Hector, ye know anyone who can hook us up with a ship?â€ â€œyes-a, he lives-a just-a down the street-a.â€ â€œoh Hector,â€ Pete asked, â€œWhats yer last name?â€ â€œBoiardi. Hector Boiardi.â€ â€œarr. Lets go get some revenge!â€
they walked down the street, until they came to a dock, with this old geezer in a rocking chair. â€œarr. We be needinâ€™ a ship fer revenge.â€ â€œoooh, is that so?â€ the old geezer said feebly, â€œwheel, ahâ€™ve got juuuust the thing fer ye young laddie.â€ He kept on rocking. â€œhey! Can we have it?â€ Ushnor asked impatiently. â€œyeassâ€¦ itsâ€™a cominâ€™â€ he kept rocking. â€œWHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE WE HERE FOR HECTOR!â€ Pete yelled at Hector. â€œhey-a calm-a down-a. its-a gonna be here any-a minute-a now.â€ â€œwharts gonna be here?â€ pete asked. â€œa ship-aâ€. at that moment, a huge pirate ship came into dock. â€œhereâ€™sa cominâ€ a pirate with a big black beard jumped off the ship and walked over to the old geezer. â€œâ€™ere she is. Sheâ€™s in fine condidtion, and with a crew. Just keep â€˜er in good hands, ya hear?â€ the Beared Pirate said. â€œits all good, itâ€™ll be fer this man here.â€ The old geezer pointed at Pete. â€œgood. He seems responsible. Well, Iâ€™m off.â€ And the bearded pirate left. â€œwell, lerts go.â€ Pete said.
As they left shore, they could see Niktaâ€™s ship off in the distance. They picked up speed and caught up with it an hour later. Pete snuck up behind Nikta on the starboard, quickly veered left, and opened fire, severly damaging the rudder and certain cabins in the back of the boat. â€œTAKE THAT YA SCAVAROUS SWAB!â€ Pete brought his ship right up next to Niktaâ€™s boat, and boarded. Both their pirates did their stuff, stealing from the others and killing. But Ushnor went looking for Nikta, whilst Pete searched for Tiny. â€œTINY! SHOW YER FACE YA COWERING MUTINEER!â€ Pete shouted. Suddenly, from behind, Pete was stabbed. He turned around, with the sword still lodged in his back. He chuckled. It was tiny. â€œand ye laughed when I said my back hair would come in handy some day.â€ Pete reached around and pulled Tinyâ€™s sword out. Ushnorâ€™s hammer came crashing down on someoneâ€™s head nearby, and Tiny picked up that pirates sword. â€œen guard, eh!â€ this battle did not last for long, for Tiny mistakenly pulled his sword up to do a crushing blow to Peteâ€™s head, but Pete blocked it with one sword, and sliced Tiny in half with the other. â€œmay ye ride the bus fer all eternity. Now fer the real evil.â€ â€œerr, were you referring to me, petey?â€ Said Nikta. Pete turned around to face Nikta. â€œneâ€™er call me that again.â€ â€œwhats the matter PETEY? Canâ€™t handle the heat?â€ â€œarr, I challenge ye to a duel, insult swordfighting.â€ Pete said. â€œoh, you have a death wish? I never knewâ€¦ ah well. lets make this more complicated shall we? You must RHYME your retorts. Mwahahahahahahahaha! Iâ€™ll start: you look like a monkey in a negligee.â€ â€œAh look thart much like yer fiancÃ©?â€ Pete advanced. â€œIâ€™ll hound you night and Day!â€ â€œthen be a good dog, sit, stay!â€ Nikta pushed him back. â€œKilling you would be justifiable Homicide.â€ â€œâ€™ell then, Killing yeâ€™d be Justifiable Fungicide.â€ Pete pushed him back near the back of the boat. â€œwhen Iâ€™m through with you,â€ Nikta started, â€œwould you prefere to be buried, or creamated?â€ â€œwith you around, Iâ€™d rather be fumigated!â€ Pete disarmed Nikta and had him right up against the side. Then, something told Pete to get of the boat immidatly. Trusting his instinct, or whatever this was, Pete commanded his men to get of the enemy ship.
As soon as the last of Peteâ€™s Pirates left Niktas ship, two huge yellowish tentacles rose from the sea, and swallowed Niktaâ€™s ship whole. â€œblasted pityâ€¦ twas a fine ship.â€ Pete said in regards, then turned to the helm of his ship. â€œarr. Hector, go make us a fine Pasta dinner.â€ â€œyes-a captin-a.â€ Hector said as he walked down to the galley. â€œarrghâ€¦â€ Pete breathed as he looked into the sun-set lit sky. Off into the west he saw an image of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the clouds. He chose this way, and set off.â€
Since no one posted, and what i've added really is only three paragraphs of an ending, i decided to merge it with chapter six.
if ANYONE has ideas for story, please tell me. I'm thinking of going to australia soon, but if anyone has a good ninja plot, I'd be happy to hear it.
also, don't worry about Hector.
Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one them, it gets up and kills. The people it kill get up and kill!
But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple'