Do we really need
a pastafarian $¢ientology cult?
Don't make me go all "Fair Game" on you.
Seriously though, probably not. But I thought this would be worth at least a chuckle.
But seriously, seriously...don't be a Suppressive Pasta.
I'm now being informed that I'm supposed to strain you all in first and then once you've been indoctrinated and I've charged you lots of money for Linguni-I-Meter readings (that don't really do anything) that will totally change your life (they won't) and you've purchased a bunch of worthless pamphlets not fit to let your dog poop on...then and only then...do I start to let on that we're absolutely bat-shit insane.
Yeah, you could just have googled all that ahead of time but it's better for you to pay us thousands of dollars for that privilege and information plus...c'mon, that would be cheating.
Take a look at yourself. You look like you're dealing with some pent up oils in your life. Why not take a seat here and let me administer this free Eatin' test that will measure if you're actually dumb enough to pay for this crap.