Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

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Re: Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Postby Dechujoh64 on Tue Aug 13, 2013 12:55 am

Peregrinans wrote:If ye be pleased, I be double.

May His noodly appendage keep you all tickled pink!


Well, keep up the good work, Peregrinans.
If there is more that would be awesome.
But there be no need to rush.

and
May the pasta be with you.
RAmen.
Pope Dechujoh is the name.
Oh, here is a list of things that I have writin:
Click the link->The Book of Dechujoh.:
Letter to the Risians. (14 Chapters.) has been writin
Letter to the Udonites. (2 Chpts.) has been writin
Letters between D and M the Udonite. (6 Chpts)has been writin
Letters to the Fiorites is next. Started on.
Revelations 3: The Scroll of the 7 Sealed Pastas(17 Chpts)has been writin
Image<---T.A.R.D.I.S
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Re: Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Tue Aug 13, 2013 12:58 am

Peregrinans wrote:If ye be pleased, I be double.

May His noodly appendage keep you all tickled pink!


Double pink is red. :fsm_yarr:
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Re: Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Postby Dechujoh64 on Tue Aug 13, 2013 1:07 am

Rev. Rowan Redbeard wrote:
Peregrinans wrote:If ye be pleased, I be double.

May His noodly appendage keep you all tickled pink!


Double pink is red. :fsm_yarr:


:confused:
I may be thinking too hard into this but wouldn't double pink, be hot pink.
:confused:

But on a side note: YE CHANGED, Rev. Redbeard!
Is that being in the pic, BE YOU?
If it is then :fsm_rock: If not then :bummer: sorry, oops.

May the pasta be with you.
RAmen.
Pope Dechujoh is the name.
Oh, here is a list of things that I have writin:
Click the link->The Book of Dechujoh.:
Letter to the Risians. (14 Chapters.) has been writin
Letter to the Udonites. (2 Chpts.) has been writin
Letters between D and M the Udonite. (6 Chpts)has been writin
Letters to the Fiorites is next. Started on.
Revelations 3: The Scroll of the 7 Sealed Pastas(17 Chpts)has been writin
Image<---T.A.R.D.I.S
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Re: Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Tue Aug 13, 2013 1:12 am

Only once have I posted a pic that isn't my own self, and this warn't the time.

But I can tell ye, as a graphic designer, that double pink be red, while pink squared be hot pink.

Pink is half red, therefore twice pink is red. Hot pink is the root of pink, therefore pink squared is hot pink. And pastel pink is half pink.

If'n you don't believe me, tough!
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Re: Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Tue Aug 13, 2013 10:07 am

What Rowan is trying to say is that his favorite color is pink.

Back on topic though, this does inspire me to think about something based on the Heart Sutra from the Buddhist tradition... Short but sweet scripture.
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:


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Re: Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Postby MilonRouge on Tue Aug 13, 2013 5:57 pm

Guess taking Eastern philosophy last semester wasn't a waste of time~I'm gonna look through all the stuff we went over and see what I can put together :)

~MilonRouge xoxo
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Re: Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Postby Dechujoh64 on Tue Aug 13, 2013 7:44 pm

MilonRouge wrote:Guess taking Eastern philosophy last semester wasn't a waste of time~I'm gonna look through all the stuff we went over and see what I can put together :)

~MilonRouge xoxo


Well then, Good luck, MilonRouge, can't wait for what you come up with.

Also, If you want to be in the Second Edition you have until Sept. 30 (ATM) to finish.
Pope Dechujoh is the name.
Oh, here is a list of things that I have writin:
Click the link->The Book of Dechujoh.:
Letter to the Risians. (14 Chapters.) has been writin
Letter to the Udonites. (2 Chpts.) has been writin
Letters between D and M the Udonite. (6 Chpts)has been writin
Letters to the Fiorites is next. Started on.
Revelations 3: The Scroll of the 7 Sealed Pastas(17 Chpts)has been writin
Image<---T.A.R.D.I.S
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Re: Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Postby juicegiver on Sat Aug 17, 2013 5:08 am

The second chapter is written in the same spirit of the Tao Te Ching but Chapter One is a little different. I do believe this is the right category.

DISCIPLES ROCK

Chapter 1 - Depression

1 The flying spaghetti monster was very depressed one day.
2 She was disappointed that nobody would listen to her wise teachings and solutions to all the mysteries of life.
3 "Why bother with such profound wisdom if nobody bothers to hear me?
4 I should have known that advances in science would eventually lead to better quality of beer and an improved variety of beautiful women to oogle over.
5 It is odd that with all these advances the males remain the same.
6 They remain barbarians. They constantly seek opportunities to maximize their pleasure and prove their superiority to one another.
7 The men have chosen to ignore my existence altogether because they know my noodles are much longer than theirs. This is a reality that the male ego cannot tolerate.
8 They have rather chosen to spend their time gorging on delicious varieties of beer and having sex with many exotic women. They no longer have time for me.
9 Damn the scientist! Why couldn't they leave beer and beauty alone and focus on building fancy space ships.
10 Those things are awesome." said the flying spaghetti monster.
11 As the flying spaghetti monster hovered closer to the earth she began hearing loud cries.
12 A tinge of excitement came upon her.
13 "I think they are worshipping me. It's true. They do love me after all." she said.
14 As she got closer she noticed it was rocks crying out to her.
15 "What in the banana split?
16 You are rocks. You are not supposed to make any noise. What the hell is wrong with you?" The flying spaghetti monster yelled.
17 "It was your idea." the rock cried out.
18 "No! I specifically remember. I created you to just lay there for no specific purpose whatsoever.
19 Well, some of the rocks were decorated with lifelike creatures inside of them.
20 I put the decorations of the simplier creatures toward the bottom and the more complex creatures on top.
21 I did that to mess with the scientist but you.......
22 You're just a dumb rock obligated to just sit there and remain silent for no specific purpose." the flying spaghetti monster proclaimed.
23 "Nua ugh" The rock cried out.
24 "Yua huh" The flying spaghetti monster quipped.
25 "Don't you remember? You told the pirates if they fail to worship you then the rocks will cry out. " proclaimed the rock.
26 "I didn't mean that. I was pissed off. Sometimes when someone gets angry they say things they don't mean."
27 "Well. You're god. We had to listen." the rock said.
28 The flying spaghetti monster began thinking to herself.
29 "But the humans don't listen to me. Why do these rocks listen to me?
30 Come to think of it the humans that did listen to me in the past were as dumb as rocks.
31 Why would you listen to an omnipotent and invisible deity when there are so many great things in life to enjoy? Besides couldn't somebody easily exploit my name to take advantage of other people? Morons!" She thought.
32 The flying spaghetti monster began displaying a mischevious look and started to rub her chin. (Note: She does not have a chin but she was rubbing some of the sauce in an area that would have been a chin if she had a human face.)
33 "That's right. You do have to listen to me. How could I be so silly?" The flying spaghetti monster explained.
34 When the flying spaghetti monster spoke to humans she was way too direct and ended up turning them away.
35 With the rocks she decided to be more mysterious and subtle by speaking in vague generalities that could not be understood or refuted. She made the rocks her new disciples because they were such a captive audience. She really enjoyed the attention and thus her foolish speech began.

Chapter 2 Foolish Speakings

1 "Speaking is the same as silence which causes the whispers to sound like shouting.
2 As rocks when you began to shout it sounded as if you were silent.
3 If nobody is around to hear, how will they know the difference?
4 Worship and indifference are the same.
5 Those who do not speak for me do not speak against me because they do not speak at all.
6 In many ways you rocks are like humans.
7 They have ears and you do not. What other proof is necessary to prove the sameness of rocks and human beings?
8 They too have become one because of their tame spirit.
9 A tame spirit allows one to be molded but being molded is no more valuable than those who take shape on their own.
10 In this case I choose both so that I may choose neither. This way nobody is confused.
11 You must realize that today I came to you instead of not coming to you.
12 That is something that you must always remember.
13 My existence and my non-existence are the same. Whether you believe in me or you don't, you are still rocks.
14 You shall remain rocks unless......................"
15 In mid sentence the flying spaghetti monster hovered away.
16 The flying spaghetti monster said to herself, "Man! I'm going to have so much fun with these rocks. They'll believe anything. I was just spouting off nonsense and they still marvelled at everything I said. I seen a few humans marvel at me but it was nothing like that. That was more awesome than a spaceship.
17 Religion is way better than science."

Vasudera Torrent
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Re: Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Postby Rev. Daniel Scott on Tue Aug 27, 2013 1:58 pm

Confusion Analects

BOOK I. Confuse Us


CHAPTER I. 1. The Pirate said, 'Is it not pleasant to live in unending leisure and lethargy?
2. 'Is it not delightful to have friends who are as crazy as you?'
3. 'Is His Noodliness not of complete leisure, who feels no
obligation to men and midgets who know him not?'

CHAP. II. 1. Yu said, 'In our ranks, there are an influx of they who are fond of offending against their superiors. They have been fond of stirring up confusion. Anarchy and chaos, they say. Long live oxygen!
2. 'The superior man bends over backwards to do what they ask because he is unused to being challenged.

CHAP. III. The Pirate said, 'Fine wine and an unpiratelike appearance are seldom associated with true Faith. Cheap grog should be good enough for you.'

CHAP. IV. The phillysofusur said, 'I daily examine myself on three points:-- whether, in running into other people, I have been drunk enough;-- whether, when yelling with friends, I have been drunk enough;-- whether I may have not drunk enough in general to the liking of His Noodliness. These are the questions I ask myself...'

CHAP. V. The Pirate said, To rule a country of a thousand drunkards, there must be an even more inebriated leader; for only one of such drunkenness could understand the minds of the masses.'

CHAP. VI. The Pirate said, 'A youth, when at home, here and there, should question his elders. He should not blindly accept what they say as true. He should also show respect where respect is due, however. When he has time, he should study up so that he isn't an ignorant chap.'

CHAP. VII. Whatchamaface said, 'If a midget withdraws his mind from the love of booty, and applies it as sincerely to the love of generosity; if, in serving his parents, he can somehow manage not to lose his temper; if, in serving his prince, he can devote his brief moments that he's willing to give to the dumb prince anyway; if he only tells little white lies to his friends rather than blatant untruths:-- although men say that he has not learned, I will certainly say that he
has.'

CHAP. VIII. 1. The Pirate said, 'If the scholar be not skeptical, he will not question the flatness of the earth, and his learning will be mushy like a loaf of bread in a rainstorm.
2. 'Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles. Except really, hold the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts as first principles.
3. 'Have no friends not equal to yourself. Unless you want to actually have friends. Then do whatever.
4. 'When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them. I mean, your girlfriend/boyfriend/sexuallyambiguousfriend will just end up pointing them out to you eventually...'

CHAP. IX. The phillysofusur said, 'Let there be a careful attention to the lack of attention that need be spent over the loose and flimsy standards that some of us hold and others do not, and let them be followed when it pleases you;-- then choice will be available, rather than just like, blindly following something written a bazillion days ago. I mean, who really does that?'

CHAP. X. 1. Complex-Name 1 asked Complex-Name 2, saying, 'When the Pirate comes to any country, he does not fail to learn all about its government so that he may choose whether or not the laws should be disrespected or if they're mildly acceptable. Does he ask his information? or is it given to him?'
2. Complex-Name 2 said, 'The Pirate is sometimes impatient, often too full of himself, lazy, drunk, and sometimes preachy. The Pirate's mode of asking information!-- is it not different from that of other men? Where else to get his information than a local pub?'

CHAP. XI. The Pirate said, 'Something something about a midget's father and things about the papa dying. Do with this as you will.'

CHAP. XII. 1. Yu said, 'In practicing or choosing not to practice the flimsy standards of the Church, a natural ease is to be prized. It's like those kings from hella long ago. They gave not a single flying fluck about stuff so they were carefree. Be that you.
2. 'Sometimes you just might want to care about something though, and at least act like you're paying attention. These practices are good.'

CHAP. XIII. LazyTown said, 'Yarr har fiddle dee dee. Being a pirate is alright to be. Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free. You are a pirate!'

CHAP. XIV. The Pirate said, 'He who aims to be reasonably tolerable is not full of himself, nor does he spend his money like no other to make his living quarters look like El Dorado. Be not so full of yourself, and be not so wasteful.'

CHAP. XV. 1. Complex-Name 2 said, 'What say you of a midget who follows not the Either I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts?' The Pirate replied, 'Eh. I'd really rather they didn't ignore them, but who am I to cast judgment?'
2. Complex-Name 2 replied, 'Oh.'
3. The Pirate said, 'Good talk.'

CHAP. XVI. The Pirate said, 'I will not be afflicted at midgets' not respecting the Church; I will be afflicted that I do not respect theirs. Who am I kidding? I won't be afflicted for that either.'
Pastafarian Doctoral Dissertation: Accepted

Completed Works:

Biblical
OP:
Ghettisis (CH 1-10 complete)
He Who is a Servant of FSM
Narwhal
Couscousum
Zozuniah
To Build or Not To Build
Covenant of Olive

NP:
Midas
Sailamon
2, 3 ParmaJohn
Jude's Kitchen



Confucian
Confusion Analects: Book I


~~~~~Qapla', sak-khet, saith.~~~~~
~~~~~~Finna ilian un atra du~~~~~
~~~~~~evarínya ono varda.~~~~~~
~~~~Mára mesta, Eywa ngahu.~~~~
~~(tlhIngan, Rihannsu, Quenya...)~~
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Re: Loose Canon Submissions - East Asian Material

Postby juicegiver on Sat Aug 31, 2013 12:38 am

effective August 31, 2013 at 1:00am Eastern Standard time I will stop logging on to this forum from work.

I want to read this stuff at my house.

juicegiver
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