what happens HERE when a pastafarian dies?

Submit your scriptural writings for inclusion in the Loose Canon, and your tales of ancient FSM Lore, as well as any other FSM-related writing you may have.

Moderator: All Things Mods

User avatar
_Tex_
Tortellini Third Mate
Posts: 319
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 4:37 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

what happens HERE when a pastafarian dies?

Postby _Tex_ » Tue Dec 06, 2005 9:45 pm

Although there has been a fair bit of talk about our heaven and its overall awesomeness, i have seen no discussion on what goes on down here. what are our death rites? our burial/ cremation and funeral/wake practises?
ACOUSTIC WEAPONRY- making really loud noises for His Noodley self
www.acousticweaponry.com

User avatar
Alpaca
Go-To Guy
Posts: 3038
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:44 pm

Postby Alpaca » Tue Dec 06, 2005 11:19 pm

Personally, I'd suggest that the best way to mourn death and simultaneously celebrate the glory of the heaven to which the departed is traveling is to drown your sorrows in beer. Much beer. As an added bonus, once you've imbibed enough, you can still talk to the departed!

User avatar
Antipaladin
Fusilli Fuselier
Posts: 167
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 7:56 pm
Location: Between apoplectic and apathetic

Postby Antipaladin » Wed Dec 07, 2005 11:28 pm

To celebrate the fallen's ascent to Pastafarian heaven, I reccomend beer (as already mentioned) and strippers.
He's dastardly. He loves catastrophy. His schemes are masterly. Sixteen and half-past-three.

User avatar
Orangekrush90
Cavatappi Cabin Boy
Posts: 82
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:49 am

Postby Orangekrush90 » Thu Dec 08, 2005 7:29 pm

I think we should all have our bodies wrapped up in newspapers and then sent to ID "scientists" or members of the Kansas educational system...After all, we'll be too busy with the unlimited beer and strippers to really care what they do with our bodies, right? :lol:

User avatar
MaryTRobot
Ziti Zealot
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:14 am
Location: Gernovia
Contact:

Postby MaryTRobot » Sun Dec 11, 2005 7:16 pm

Alpaca wrote:Personally, I'd suggest that the best way to mourn death and simultaneously celebrate the glory of the heaven to which the departed is traveling is to drown your sorrows in beer. Much beer. As an added bonus, once you've imbibed enough, you can still talk to the departed!


I dunno that sounds really close to the Catholic rites....
They say Guns don't kill people, people kill people...but I think the gun helps

~Eddie Izzard

User avatar
Rasti
Farfalle First Mate
Posts: 524
Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2005 11:51 am
Location: Florida: Manipulating Hurricanes in his Noodley Name ;)

Postby Rasti » Sun Dec 11, 2005 7:28 pm

When we Die, 15 zealots of our kind must gather and drink while sitting on us, in full pirate regalia.

'15 men on a dead man's chest. yo ho ho and a bottle of Rum.'
'We must Dissent', for the noodles ;)
A Validus Noodle , Pro valde Pax

User avatar
Dr. Otis Lansa
Mystic of Meatball
Posts: 2426
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2005 12:30 pm
Location: Canuckistan

Postby Dr. Otis Lansa » Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:19 am

Has a net-wake been done yet? You could pre-write a series of posts to scare the bepastus out of us with words from the beyond.

One question about Heaven, with a Dee Dee bent: Is Depp still gonna be at the Stripper Factory for you if he hasn't made it up there himself yet? Or is Hunter going to have to play Depp for the mean time? :mrgreen:
Image

Marion Delgado
Conchigliette Convert
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:39 am
Contact:

Mostro volante, fatto di spaghetti, ricevi il vostro servo

Postby Marion Delgado » Wed Dec 21, 2005 4:15 am

benedicali, pastafazoo apollyone, fettucini!

Ramen.

User avatar
catdrchris
Cavatappi Cabin Boy
Posts: 85
Joined: Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:14 pm
Location: Tiger's Den
Contact:

ashes

Postby catdrchris » Thu Dec 22, 2005 4:02 pm

Whether spread as ashes in to the wind, or made one with the ground, we must realize our bodies will one day make their way into both barley and wheat, thus complete is the cycle of living through and as pasta and beer.

As pirates don't cry, there must be much beer and strippers.

User avatar
Duke
Prophet of Pastafarianism
Posts: 8483
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2005 4:17 am
Location: Under a Large Pile of Snow
Contact:

Re: what happens HERE when a pastafarian dies?

Postby Duke » Thu Dec 22, 2005 4:04 pm

_Tex_ wrote:Although there has been a fair bit of talk about our heaven and its overall awesomeness, i have seen no discussion on what goes on down here. what are our death rites? our burial/ cremation and funeral/wake practises?


How would we (us on the forums) know if someone dies?


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain


He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche


"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen

User avatar
Alpaca
Go-To Guy
Posts: 3038
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:44 pm

Re: ashes

Postby Alpaca » Thu Dec 22, 2005 6:56 pm

catdrchris wrote:Whether spread as ashes in to the wind, or made one with the ground, we must realize our bodies will one day make their way into both barley and wheat, thus complete is the cycle of living through and as pasta and beer.

As pirates don't cry, there must be much beer and strippers.


Hmm.. perhaps we could get a funeral pirate ship?

User avatar
Duke
Prophet of Pastafarianism
Posts: 8483
Joined: Thu Oct 27, 2005 4:17 am
Location: Under a Large Pile of Snow
Contact:

Re: ashes

Postby Duke » Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:23 pm

Alpaca wrote:
catdrchris wrote:Whether spread as ashes in to the wind, or made one with the ground, we must realize our bodies will one day make their way into both barley and wheat, thus complete is the cycle of living through and as pasta and beer.

As pirates don't cry, there must be much beer and strippers.


Hmm.. perhaps we could get a funeral pirate ship?


Who is going to bankroll that one?

Maybe a canoe, like in old times.......................


Duke
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."

--Mark Twain




He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

--Friedrich Nietzsche




"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

--Woody Allen

User avatar
Alpaca
Go-To Guy
Posts: 3038
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:44 pm

Postby Alpaca » Thu Dec 22, 2005 9:05 pm

But it would have to be a pirate canoe. Maybe it could pillage the flowers?

User avatar
harris5
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
Posts: 45
Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2005 1:40 am

Postby harris5 » Fri Dec 23, 2005 4:17 am

I would like to be boiled and served to family and friends with a nice sauce.



Of course, there may be some laws that interfere. Our religion is being repressed by the man!
:worship: :fsm_float:
rAmen!

User avatar
Alpaca
Go-To Guy
Posts: 3038
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 10:44 pm

Postby Alpaca » Fri Dec 23, 2005 12:34 pm

harris5 wrote:I would like to be boiled and served to family and friends with a nice sauce.



Of course, there may be some laws that interfere. Our religion is being repressed by the man!


Your family might be a little creeped out, too.


Return to “Scripture and Lore”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron