Letter to the Fiorites
1:0A Speech from Dechujoh to the Fiorites.
1:1After receiving letters from the Fiorite leader to come to their land and give a speech on the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster and why they should believe in him. 1:2I sent him a letter in return to ask for permission to enter his land. 1:3He hath replied “yes, you may.”
1:4I have walked into the land of the Fiorites, to the city of Demsaucus. 1:5And the Fiorites have greeted me with open arms, and baskets of uncooked pasta.
1:6I have thanked them and taking the pasta to my living quarters which I have set just outside the city. 1:7After taking the pasta to my living quarters, I had returned to the group that already assembled for me. 1:8To give them this speech. 1:9Also, I've been allowed to write down this speech and their response, and I give them praise for that. 1:10(You may be surprised at how they respond to my speech because our Lord doth work in mysterious and sometimes juvenile ways.)
1:11So here's the speech.
2:1Hello, Fioritians, I stand here before you today to talk about our one and only plastered Lord my God and your God, the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster. 2:2He be the one whom have created you. 2:3He be the one to whom hath created everything around you. 2:4From the birds in the skies to the animals below the ground. 2:5To the animals that live in the water and the trees and the plants before ye.
2:6He hath given you plentiful bounties of himself to you. 2:7From which you have given some unto me. 2:8And I verily appreciate that.
2:9But in order to tell you, why should all of you accept the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster as your one true God. 2:10You must also know a few simple things about the Almighty FSM. 2:11Also, I shall be using he because we do not know what the true sex of the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster is. 2:12After all it is a flying pile of spaghetti.
3:0The Things of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
3:1 #1: He always be drunk and so verily happy.
3:2 #2: He is rarely in a foul mood. (3:3Unlike some other gods.)
3:4 #3: He does not care what you actually eat. 3:5As long as you eat of him once in a while.
3:6 #4: He does not care what else you believe in. 3:7He knows that he is the one true God and that makes him happy.
3:8 #5: He is always there and always shall be there.
3:9 #6: He has told us time and time again that he is an imperfect God. 3:10 And that he, unlike any other God actually will strive to make his creations better and live in peace.
3:11 #7: He loves everyone no matter what your skin color is, what your values are, or what your beliefs are in anything else. 3:12He is willing to allow you to do what you want to do. 3:13He really has no master plan for every single living thing on this planet. 3:14That would just make everything too complicated.
4:1That's all I can think about right now for our great and holy noodley one. 4:2But beyond that, he is the only one true God that I believe has zero contradictory statements throughout the entirety of his lore. 4:3What may seem as a contradictory statement at first it is really just another layer to his awesomeness. 4:4It is a layer that needs to be rearranged in a certain way, so that it'll finally be able to make sense. 4:5To put it another way, a certain story in the Old Pastament doesn't seem to fit if you were to put it near the beginning, 4:6but it fits perfectly within the entire Flying Spaghetti Monster lore if you were to read it after a few other books within the Old Pastament.
5:1Our religion, (the religion of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.) 5:2Is a religion of peace and tolerance, unlike other religions. 5:3 you were to look back upon this I did not come in the first place and force it upon you like other religions would have done. 5:4You found out about the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster upon your own selves.
5:5I, only as a humble missionary of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, only came to your lands because you asked me to. 5:6I have only came to anyone who has asked for my help to reinforce, to bolster your belief in the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster. 5:7Before ye, The Fiorites asked for me, the Udonites asked for me, especially an Udonite named Marillie.5:8Even before they asked for me, the Risians called for my help. 5:9Because the Risians upon conversion to them believing in the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster. 5:10Their tribe broke into several camps some who believed one way, some who believed another way, and of those who believed in everything but had no home. 5:11Those who believed in everything sent me a letter to come to their lands and help those who believed however they believed in the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster were also right, and did not need to fight against everyone else. 5:12I told them that you can believe in the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster however you want to believe in him. 5:13And as long as you believe in him just a smidgen, our Lord is happy enough with just that.
5:14I believe I have done enough talking. 5:15So I ask of all of you have I convinced ye to believe in my Lord and hopefully your Lord the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster?
6:1Upon me finishing my speech to them in full faith to our Lord, the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster. 6:2All of the people who it came and listened to me today, got up and silently walked away. 6:3Upon seeing this I, too, walk away back to my tent at the outskirts of the city of Demsaucus. 6:4When I got to my tent I thought to myself I guess not. 6:5I looked at the pasta that they had given me upon entering their city and I left it there thinking that they may want it back. 6:6I entered my tent and went to sleep. 6:7Upon waking up in the morning and getting ready to go back home. 6:8I had gotten my things ready and upon walking outside of my tent, with my things, I had seen that they had given me more pasta. 6:9They had doubled the pasta that they had given to me and even this time they even gave sauces.
6:10I packed up everything that I possibly could. 6:11I did not have enough room for everything that they had given to me. 6:12 So, upon putting the backpack full my stuff and their pasta and sauce. 6:13I gladly gave back the rest of the pasta and sauce that I could not take. 6:14I entered their city one last time. 6:15Went to the center of the city and set pasta and sauces down and said, 6:16“I come to all of you giving thanks. 6:17I praise all of you for your generosity and your hospitality. 6:18But alas I cannot take all that you have given me. 6:20So I humbly give back to you what I cannot take, and may the Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster praise all of you.
6:21And again thank you.
6:22May the pasta be with you.
7:0The finding of the revelations.
7:1Upon me leaving and heading home I walked to the edge of the city of Demsaucus, 7:2I turned around and waved goodbye and began to walk home. 7:3But as soon as I did that and took my first step out of the city, 7:4I kicked a rock which did not budge, but it sounded hollow to me. 7:5So I dropped my stuff and began to dig to see what was of this “hollow rock” and as I was taking off the dirt, I could see that it was a jar. 7:6Upon me finally digging up the jar, several dozen Fiorites gathered around me.7:7 Then I asked them, 7:8“Is this jar anybody's?” 7:9All of them replied, 7:10“NO.” 7:11Then I ask of them, 7:12“May I open this jar?” 7:13They replied, 7:14“YES.”
7:15The open duct a jar, and dust came flying out. 7:16Then I put my hand into the jar and pulled out a scroll. 7:17I ask of them 7:18“Did any of you write this?” and they replied, 7:19“NO.” 7:20With one final question asked of them, 7:21“May I take this home, so that I can see what is in the scroll? 7:22Then one of them replied 7:23“This scroll means nothing to any of us so you may have it. 7:24From what we can see on the scroll we even would not understand the language that it has been written in, so you may have it.” 7:25Upon hearing this I said thank you, 7:26and have a nice day, and may the pasta be with you, always. 7:27Then I finally headed back home so that I may rest and see what the scroll is. 7:28It could be of our religion because it is tied in ancient pasta. 7:29Also, some ancient strings, too.
7:30May the pasta be with you.
is the name.
Oh, here is a list of things that I have writin: Click the link->The Book of Dechujoh.: Letter to the Risians. (14 Chapters.) has been writin Letter to the Udonites. (2 Chpts.) has been writin Letters between D and M the Udonite. (6 Chpts)has been writin Letters to the Fiorites
is next. Started on.Revelations 3: The Scroll of the 7 Sealed Pastas(17 Chpts)has been writin