The Book of Italics

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The Book of Italics

Postby jacob0211 on Tue Oct 17, 2006 7:33 am

1.
1.And in the final days of the house of Rash'eskill'athamon of Belariag 2.There was given unto those whose faith had remained doused in the Sauce of His Noodleness 3.A boon such as was befitting their piety 4.For is it not said among the cloisters of the Hooded Monks of the Wet Gravel Path 5.'Yay, and blessings most fragrant and moist shall fall upon he who kicks not his neighbours Ox' 6.And lo the sons of Electharethion of Gelt went out into the fields 7.And blessed was thier mein for they bore first witness to the sublime Golden Shopping Trolley 8. Bestowed upon them by thier father, and mother, and Uncle on thier father's side, and that nice lady who we call Aunty but she's Not Related but she was at the wedding and she Only Has Cats at home 9.The Flying Spaghetti Monster, for He is both father and mother, and Uncle on the father's side and that nice lady who is called Aunty but is Not Related but was at the wedding and she Only Has Cats at home 10.And though the Wheel at the Front Left did squeek and there was a tendancy to Veer Off To The Right 11.Abash'Nethfalshazaar'Oxbong, eighteen thousandth son of Electharethion of Gelt did turn to his brothers 12.Arabshanalasbaar the Untidy, Peng, Durothalash'Kandasfang of the seven Garden Gnomes, Uruthal'ec'bok'schalandrafangdoshbithamon the Unpronounceable, Dave, Humongorofous the Midget and Ibing'mashkarafon of the Desperate Bedlamp 13.And proclaim unto them in solemn tones and with a straight face 14.'Lo, yay, and beholden mine brethren, see thou before thee in thine own sight there that thing which is revealed to us here in this place where we stand that we may see with our own eyes that thing of which the aforesaid revealing makes mention' 15.And they did look, and see they the thing which was revealed they did, for in that place where they stood that thing which was revealed to them they did lay thier sight upon and see that which was in that place to be seen by such as they who had come to that place, containing that thing, to see it, yay 16.'And though the Mighty Noodle of our Lord and Boss has deemed fit to touch this Golden Shopping Trolley such that it may never be pushed in a straight line for more than a few steps save at the expense of great effort on the part of he who pushes it, for His Wisdom is Great and His Way containing of the Mystery of the Complex Carbohydrate, which releaseth it's bounty slowly into the bloodstream, as efficiency doth decree, and is not beknownest unto 17.Man or Pirate or Small Flightless Bird or Late Party Guest or Directors of Low Budget Arthouse Cinema, yay though they be wise, or Chimpanzee, or Bill Oddie, or Postman, or Optimus Prime lo 18.But still is this Golden Shopping Trolley most assuredly a Sign from Him who Levitates and Passes Through Normal Matter with Ease' 18.And the Brothers of Abash'Nethfalshazaar'Oxbong, eighteen thousandth son of Electharethion of Gelt, 19.Arabshanalasbaar the Untidy, Peng, Durothalash'Kandasfang of the seven Garden Gnomes, Uruthal'ec'bok'schalandrafangdoshbithamon the Unpronounceable, Humongorofous the Midget and Ibing'mashkarafon of the Desperate Bedlamp did rejoice and they did feast upon the penne, and the ravioli, and the cannelloni and the fettucine and the lasagne, yay 20.But feasted they not upon the Spaghetti, or the Meatball, or the Marinara, for rightly did Durothalash'Kandasfang of the seven Garden Gnomes proclaim that in reverence and thanks for the boon of the Golden Shopping Trolley, 21.Which did have at it's Front Left a Wheel that did squeek, and was disposed to Veer off to the Right 22.They should partake not of the most sumptuous of His Noodlyness's bounty, but be satisfied with the other manifestations of Pasta that He, in His Wisdom, hath caused to spring forth from the Earth.

2.
1.But Dave did not rejoice, for his heart was aggreived at the squeeking of the Wheel at the Front Left, and at the Veering off to the Right...........

TBC.
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah JESUS blah blah blah blah BACON blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ESKIMO blah blah blah blah
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Postby St John the Blasphemist on Tue Oct 17, 2006 10:51 am

3. Nor doth any soul rejoiceth. For it be thy duty to first consult the big red START HERE sign that thou first encountereth when thou entereth the main forum index. And thou shalt not be commended for thy commentary nor for thy creative input and nor for thy praise of His Noodliness until thou doest so.

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Postby jacob0211 on Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:12 am

fascist
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah JESUS blah blah blah blah BACON blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ESKIMO blah blah blah blah
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Postby Warlord of Elephants on Thu Oct 19, 2006 10:53 am

jacob0211 wrote:fascist


Probably NOT the best way to start off here. Sincerely The Warlord of Elephants
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit; it's the only way to be sure."

I devoured my 'good' twin in utero

"Doctor Evil! I didn't spend six years in evil medical school to be called "Mister," thank you very much."
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Re: The Book of Italics

Postby PastaServer134 on Fri Oct 20, 2006 9:40 pm

jacob0211 wrote:19.Arabshanalasbaar the Untidy, Peng, Durothalash'Kandasfang of the seven Garden Gnomes, Uruthal'ec'bok'schalandrafangdoshbithamon the Unpronounceable, Humongorofous the Midget and Ibing'mashkarafon of the Desperate Bedlamp did rejoice and they did feast upon the penne, and the ravioli, and the cannelloni and the fettucine and the lasagne...


Bout fell out of the chair laughing, yes, keep posting. Don't worry about the authorities; for Pastafarianism to be a true religion, they have to be that way. True religions require form over substance, and cannot get on without the rules and kinds of people that enforce them. But, they need sinners like us to break the rules and do our penance. So, go wash a few Pasta bowls in the back room and then come back and post some more.
Pastafarianism: Faith you can twirl on a fork.
May the caloric content of your Pasta not exceed the nutritional value to your filet of soul.
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