Alfredo and Fettuccine

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Alfredo and Fettuccine

Postby Al the Killer on Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:34 pm

Alfredo was a talented chef who fell in love with a stunning woman named fettuccine. Fettuccine, wanting to please the great FSM, became a pirate and left Alfredo for months.

Eventually, Alfredo recieved a message from the almighty FSM saying that Fettuccine had died at sea and was now with the other pirates in the VIP section of heaven.

Alfredo was devastated and boarded a ship to find the FSM and reclaim Fettuccine. After months of searching, Alfredo finally found the heaven. After taking the elevator, (Which was very nice by the way.) Alfredo found Futtuccine next to the beer volcano.

Before reaching her, a giant, lazy Kiwi bird sat in front of him. Thinking of a way past it, Alfredo cooked a bowl of pasta, which lured the bird away. At last, he was with his loved one.

The FSM, noticing this, said to him "To show you my infinite mercy, I will let you take your loved one, under one condition..."
"And what would that be?" Alfredo asked.
"While you are leaving, you must not turn around."
"Easy" replied Alfredo.

So Alfredo set off with Fettuccine. Before he reached the elevator, he thought to himself "I must see that stripper factory one more time!" So he turned around, and Fettuccine disappeared.

Nobody knows what happened to Alfredo, but he probably just drank himself stupid and killed himself.

Fin. :cry:
the cake is a lie
the cake is a lie
the cake is a lie
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Re: Alfredo and Fettuccine

Postby Ham Nox on Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:21 pm

OMFSM, that's a horrible story! :cry:
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............................P(X|A) * P(A)
P(A|X) = -----------------------------------
...............P(X|A) * P(A) + P(X|~A) * P(~A)

If I have learnt anything, it is that life forms no logical patterns. It is haphazard and full of beauties which I try to catch as they fly by, for who knows whether any of them will ever return?
Margot Fonteyn

~*L'Nox ti notve*~
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Re: Alfredo and Fettuccine

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Thu Jan 21, 2010 8:25 pm

I like it but for one part. The suicide. It's really sort of unnecessary.

The rest of it is pretty awesome, in a tragic way. Nice spin on the old Orpheus.
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Re: Alfredo and Fettuccine

Postby Edd on Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:32 pm

I think I could accept the suicide if the FSM was a more likable character. Would our deity really require such silly and arbitrary obedience from us?
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Re: Alfredo and Fettuccine

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:40 pm

C'mon, that's just the FSM messing with him. I mean, he's already cutting him some slack in the first place by allowing this.

Without the suicide, it's just c'est la vie until he dies too, and meets her in Heaven, so no harm done.
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Re: Alfredo and Fettuccine

Postby Ham Nox on Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:00 pm

Nah, it would be messin' wif 'im if the FSM had made a bet about it. There has to be some element that clues the other person into the humor, or the humor is completely one-sided and just becomes cruelty. The FSM cannot claim Infinite Mercy and then pull a cruel prank on the dude using his omniscience to see that Alfredo would, in fact, try to look back.

And Alfredo's devotion was a severe case of telling, not showing.. If his wife is so important to get back, then why did he feel the need to look back at the stripper factory?
Bayes Theorum:
............................P(X|A) * P(A)
P(A|X) = -----------------------------------
...............P(X|A) * P(A) + P(X|~A) * P(~A)

If I have learnt anything, it is that life forms no logical patterns. It is haphazard and full of beauties which I try to catch as they fly by, for who knows whether any of them will ever return?
Margot Fonteyn

~*L'Nox ti notve*~
User avatar
Ham Nox
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Posts: 2600
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:44 pm
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