Let me be the first to rebuke the and remonstrate against the blasphemous tolerance of heresy displayed here.
The illusion that anything other than strippers, beer, and spaghetti are required to provide everything for a happy successful afterlife simply ignores the evidence all around us.
Unintelligent Design(TM) requires that the FSM (may his sauce anoint your pasta) messed up the place, leaving out some components that most of us recognize as obvious requirements.
That's how Creationism works, folks! Don't be led astray by unbelievers! Didn't any of you study Intelligent Design in school? Duh!
As a member of the theological synod of reformed Pastafarian research and dissemination ad hoc committee on theoretical constructions and solipsistic explorations, I have conclusively proven sufficient that my heart believes that:
1. ONLY Strippers and Beer are up there in heaven.
2. The FSM messed up the design, so whatcha gonna do, huh?
3. Relax and enjoy it.
4. Bring your own pasta, because the FSM (kiss his meaty balls) won't like you just coming up and trying to stick your fork into him, okay?
We must rigorously promote our lax standards, and seriously contemplate maybe one day getting around to doing something about whatever isn't quite right. Thus I strenuous and immediate inaction to start at your earliest convenience.
In the name of the noodles, the balls, and the holy sauce,
Reverend Doctor Epictetus, Th.D.