I think the distinction that the astronomers settled on was in defining "cleared the neighborhood."
They decided that "cleared the neighborhood" doesn't mean that nothing else is in their orbit, but that anything of significant size that does inhabit that region long term is either an orbiting moon of the planet or has been locked into its course by the gravity of that planet. Also, Jupiter is so bloody huge that it actually pulls stuff into its neighborhood, so it will never be completely clear, because it is self-cluttering. But considering that it probably "cleared" whole planets like Uranus from its "neighborhood" and has Saturn in 5:2 orbital resonance lock, no one argues against its qualifications as a planet.
Ceres is smaller than Alaska and has a surface gravity of less than 3% of Earth's. If you tried to run on it, you'd keep accidentally pushing yourself into orbit. That's just not a planet. Being the biggest of a group of things that aren't planets doesn't make it a planet. It was only ever considered a planet because they hadn't found all those bazillions of other relatively little things out there.
Eris and Pluto are in the same neighborhood, with umpty-doodle thousands of other things, and none of them have gravitic "clear" of the region. They have 6-8% of earth's gravity, so you might actually need a Wile E. Coyote jetpack to get into orbit, but not much more.
From the time I spent reading about the debates on this issue, it seemed that, in the end, the astronomical societies decided to call them all "dwarf planets" so the general lay population could think of them any way they wanted to. The "dwarf planet" designation has little or no meaning, scientifically, that I could find. It was just a way to end the argument and get back to work.
New trick for remember the (dwarfs and) Planets in order?:
"Man Very Early Made ceramic Jars, Some Uses Never passed extinct
At any rate, I'd suggest that Pastafarians not try to interfere with scientific naming conventions that are really only of use to the scientists who make them. A dwarf planet, by any other name, still... will put a great big frakking dent in your space cruiser if you run into one.
In case you didn't realize it, I DO have a sense of humor. How about you?
"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer... I will face my fear. I will let it pass over and through me, and when it has gone, only I will remain." --The Bene Gesserit
"Time is a spiral. Space is a curve. I know you get dizzy, but try not to lose your nerve." -- Neil Peart
"I'm not in the ship. I am the ship." -- River Tam
"The truth is simple. It's the lies that get complicated." -- me
"No matter where you go, there you are." --Buckaroo Banzai