More from HP Lolcat:
'The Statement of Randolph Carter' by HPG Wodehouse
"One hesitates to employ the idiom of the hyperbolic," came the voice of the presently subterranean gentleman's gentleman, "but I very much regret to inform you that I am in the unfortunate position of encountering what can only be described as 'the Unnameable', sir."
We Woosters are made of the sternest, of course, but at the sound of a slight quaver in the measured tones of the hitherto ever-imperturbable Jeeves, this Wooster was sorely tempted to biff off with all despatch. I stiffened the upper lip, braced the spine, and spoke into the field telephone.
"Hang on, old egg. I'm coming down. Bertram to the rescue, what?"
"Absolutely not, sir, if you'll forgive the use of the imperative. It would appear to be rather too late, in any case. Save yourself, sir; one simply could not contemplate the premature termination of the Wooster posterity."
Dash it all, but the man was right, as always.