10,000 (more) Commandments

This board is NOT restricted access. Keep that in mind when you post.

Moderator: Other Stuff Mods

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby StJason on Sat Aug 10, 2013 9:16 pm

9059: Thou shalt not call me out on mine hypocracies, I am well aware of them. Besideth, what? Am I supposedeth to carryist this whole group myself-ith? Then who wouldest torment the Facebooketh group-ists...er...ed...ing..?
---
Darwin's Purge, verse 39.


You know the thing that I hate about these .sigblocks? Never have a good idea what to put in them.
User avatar
StJason
Gnocchetti Galley Slave
 
Posts: 57
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:04 am
Location: Sacramento, California, United States, North America, Earth, Sol, Milky Way

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Thu Aug 15, 2013 11:17 am

9058: Thou shalt not riseth up too fast from thine deck chair under the apple tree or thou shalt cutteth open thine head on a pointy branch thereon...

...and thine cheeky sprogette doth sayeth: That would not have happened if you had hair.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker on Sat Feb 08, 2014 3:55 pm

daftbeaker wrote:9390: If thou'st be cooking with chillies then thou shalt not touch thine eyes before washing thine hands, for thou shalt look a right tit trying to stick thine eyes under the tap.

9057: Thou shalt bloody listen to thine own advice :facewall:
User avatar
daftbeaker
Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
 
Posts: 11399
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:11 pm
Location: Surrey, England.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Wed Mar 12, 2014 10:44 am

9056: Thou shalt keep up the work-rate if thou ever intendest to get 10,000 of these done before they abolish the internet.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15898
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby DavidH on Wed Mar 12, 2014 1:21 pm

9055: thou shalt not discourage fellow-posters with gloomy statistics.
Image
User avatar
DavidH
Tagliatelle Trainee Monk
 
Posts: 4464
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:23 pm
Location: Herefordshire, Western England

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby pastajohnson on Fri Oct 17, 2014 11:47 am

9054: Thou shalt always keep the counteth in order
pastajohnson
Conchigliette Convert
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Aug 21, 2014 11:23 am

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Monobaz on Fri Oct 17, 2014 3:56 pm

daftbeaker wrote:9390: If thou'st be cooking with chillies then thou shalt not touch thine eyes before washing thine hands, for thou shalt look a right tit trying to stick thine eyes under the tap.


9053: Thou shalt not take the name of a tit in vain, (especially that of a red one).
"There was a time when religion ruled the world. It is known as the Dark Ages." Ruth Hurmence Green
User avatar
Monobaz
Cavatappi Cabin Boy
 
Posts: 93
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 3:19 am
Location: Melbourne

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker on Tue Nov 18, 2014 7:02 pm

9052: If thou art drunk, thou shalt not attempt to blow thine nose while wiping thine arse.

No, I didn't do that, I just heard someone mention it in the pub :haha:
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
User avatar
daftbeaker
Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
 
Posts: 11399
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:11 pm
Location: Surrey, England.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Tue Nov 18, 2014 7:21 pm

9051: Thou shalt not answer the phone whilst ironing a shirt. Never done that.
9050: Thou shalt not brush the hair out of thine eyes whilst chopping vegetables with a great big knife. Nearly did that.
9049: Thou shalt not attempt to catch a hot soldering iron with bare hands when it falls off the workbench. Done that.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15898
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Griffin on Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:37 am

9048: Thou shalt not attempt to halve a frozen crumpet with a sharp knife.
Grand Deducer Watson of Sherlock. NoName, no pack drill. Astral zone changed five times a day (flexible). Great at manifesting parking spaces by thought control. Hatred of terminology of survivors and commitment to win-win reality.
User avatar
Griffin
WatsonOfSherlock
 
Posts: 2222
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:51 pm
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby bonsaiherb on Thu Nov 20, 2014 11:04 am

SUBMISSIONS: Oldies but goodies.

Thou should not take life too seriously; for you're not getting out alive.
Thou shalt always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Thou should never bite the hand that . . . . has six fingers.


My own:

"Thou be girdled with the knowledge that 'Pessimism, once stepped in is damn hard to scrape off your shoes."
Thou should remember that 'The early worm gets eaten.' Old one too.

"Thou should value your ancestors courage to discover that frog legs are edible."
"Thou shall learn painfully that sharp lips are meant to be missed."

Image
User avatar
bonsaiherb
Fusilli Fuselier
 
Posts: 151
Joined: Sun Jun 22, 2014 10:57 am
Location: Buried under a lavender field in Sequim, WA

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby pennefromheaven on Sat Dec 13, 2014 11:12 pm

9047: Thoseth that taketh the FSM name in vain shalleth be punished with 50 lashes from a wet noodle. eth?
pennefromheaven
Ziti Zealot
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2014 6:32 pm

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Sun Dec 14, 2014 6:12 am

9046: Thou shalt remember the numbering of thy commandments, for if thou do not, thee admin shalt be forced to edit thine post, bringing upon himself accusations from the mods of fascism and violence inherent in the system.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15898
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Previous

Return to Games, Fun, and Jokes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

cron