Corrupt a wish.

[Qwertyuiopasd]

Granted, but just check the QooC thread.

I wish I had my signature back, too.

[Rainswept]

Granted. (really!) You did not talk price before this bargain however, and you now owe me the memory of your best date ever.

I wish Firefly would come back on the air.

[Qwertyuiopasd]

Granted, but only as a spin-off show with an entirely different cast. Maybe they can call it "The Life and Times of Badger the Big Bad Crime Lord."

I wish I'd learn to eat when I need to, instead of being up for 4 hours without a single bite.

[Uther]

Granted. You are a straight-up-and-down three square meals a day man, but....
that means no snacks

No poptarts, no chippies, no chocolate

I wish Christmas was cancelled due to lack of interest.

[Roy Hunter]

I would grant that wish, but I'm too apathetic. Meh.

I wish I had more heatshrink tubing.

[Uther]

Granted... But your heat gun is KAPUT!! (You piss about trying to shrink it with soldering iron)

I wish I had listened to what my Father told me.

[Elvalia]

Granted. He told you the square root of pi. Unfortunately, you were drunk at the time and promptly forgot.

I wish that I had the restraint to stop eating cinnamon buns.

[Uther]

Granted... Hypnotherapy worked... you have no desire to eat cinnamon buns, but.....
As with all hypnotherapy, the behaviour is Displaced..... When ever you see a Cinnamon bun you have the uncontrollable urge to insert it elsewhere.

I wish flies did not start coming around in Summer.

[Ubi Dubius]

Granted - files start coming around in Summer. Big ones! They hurt when they hit you in the head!

I wish my new job were 100% certain, instead of 90% probable.

[Qwertyuiopasd]

Granted, but the burden of proof is now on you, and not on them.

I wish I could have a car next semester. I dislike relying on others for my transportation.

[Eendje]

Granted. However, the darn thing has got 2 flat tires, an empty tank and an engine that sounds like there's a chicken lost in it somewhere. Therefor, you'd still be better off relying on others for transport.

I'd wish I could find the courage to face the horror and open my Introductory Quantum Mechanics book.

[daftbeaker]

Granted. Quantum Mechanics really isn't as bad as it sounds. General Relativity will turn you insane though

I wish I hadn't spent yesterday with a hangover.

[black bart]

Granted...Nef Yoo called round to beat you over the head wiv his gyant lollypop for talking dirty to him.

I wish I hadn't drunk so much Young's Winter Warmer last night

[Ubi Dubius]

Granted, Nef Yoo got to it first. You have to explain what happened to Auntie Blackbeard.

I wish the Redskins didn't suck.

[Roy Hunter]

Granted. They blow.

I wish I hadn't run out of solder before I finished the phase inverter.