After much prayer, meditation, consultation, and inebriation, it has been revealed to me that the FSM (holy be his sauce) wants us all to have group cyber pasta.
It's not what you think! (You really ought to be ashamed of yourself.)
In loving worship of hot meaty balls, dripping with the sauces of his holiness, we shall engage in mutually satisfying intercourse of noodly slurping and swallowing, licking the plate until we all groan in satisfaction together.
According to the revelation (supported by the scriptures, including the controversial Second Book of Recipes, Chapter 4, Verses 16-32) up to sixty four worshipful believers can simultaneously experience the rapture while up to 128 may watch, and 256 only read email spam advertising the Cyber Pasta Group event.
According to the New York Times:
"Cyber Pasta Groupies, as they like to be called, hijack chat rooms and describe to each other just how they are twirling their sacred pasta, slurping their holy cup o'noodles, or nibbling meaty balls."
Yes, the Landover Baptist Church, home of the TrueChristians(tm) is contemplating condemning CPG'ing as immoral. Yet, I see no reason to disobey the revelations I received direct from his noodly appendage.
Therefore, I'm inviting you all to form CPG's to commune with others in the true spirit of holy piracy.
I look forward to future anonymous encounters with like minded strangers who want to exchange some sauce. I feel the power of the wholesome goodness when I lift a spoon on high, and breathe out a worshipful "RAmen".
When we share it together, it is a powerful experience. There have been anecdotal reports of instantaneous eruptions of workplace enuresis, speaking with tongues, and spontaneous orthopedic response. The late Reverend Rector was said to have cyber pasta'd with over 512 groups in his lifetime.
I share this good news with you, in the name of the noodles, the balls, and the holy sauce,
Reverend Doctor Epictetus, Th.D.