Pirates and Equal Opportunities

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Delivery

Postby black bart on Thu Jul 12, 2007 6:39 am

Personally I don't encourage that sort of behaviour on board my ship...<shouts from outside Bart's cabin: "Cap'n, Cap'n good news Cap'n we've just taken delivery from the Kleenex Supply Ship the SS Ocean Tosser..." > Yes, er yes, very good Bosun ...I'm expecting a lot of colds and flu on this voyage, er...
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby walktheplank on Thu Jul 12, 2007 6:55 am

yarr if it is a charity mebbe it can fund a care home for old Pirates, yer know we are not gitting any younger and when our legs get wood rot an fall off an yer hook git rusty we will need someone to look after us.
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
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Postby OZ_Nick on Thu Jul 12, 2007 6:07 pm

Yaaarrr! That be a goode idea there matey, we jest need ter inshoore that thye nurses look moore loike Pirgella than Big Brenda....
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Ye may knowe mee better as Cap'n Bluenose
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Postby DaveL on Fri Jul 13, 2007 11:33 pm

YArrrr...

As long as Eunice O'Hare doesn't get a job in a hospital. That girl will cause more injuries than heal people.
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Nurse

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 16, 2007 7:06 am

I've come down with a nasty cold so I will be locking myself in my cabin until further notice...
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Re: Nurse

Postby The Black Spot on Mon Jul 16, 2007 7:57 am

black bart wrote:I've come down with a nasty cold so I will be locking myself in my cabin until further notice...


Arrrr... the newsagent's 'ad a new delivery o' magazines, 'as 'ee?
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Re: Nurse

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 16, 2007 8:38 am

The Black Spot wrote:
black bart wrote:I've come down with a nasty cold so I will be locking myself in my cabin until further notice...


Arrrr... the newsagent's 'ad a new delivery o' magazines, 'as 'ee?


Er...Yes, quite right...the usual subscriptions: National Geographic, Top Mast monthly, Circumnavigator's Monthly, Pirate's Health, Peglegged monthly, Ahoy (full o pics o Victoriaaaarrgh Beckham as bleedin usual, even Knuckles throws them away), Cabinboy...

<Shout from outside door> "Cap'n, Cap'n as ye seen this months copy of 'Wobblin Wonder Wenches'...or 'Westward Ho Wangers?"
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Postby The Black Spot on Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:51 am

Aye matey. I only has a subscription fer Wobbly Wenches 'cos I likes the crossword.
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Toe

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 16, 2007 7:00 pm

Aye you be roight thar, and Westward Ho Wangers has a delightful section on sea fishing from an Open Boat with only the string from your underpants and a carefully whittled toe nail clipping.
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Postby The Black Spot on Wed Jul 25, 2007 10:18 pm

Arrrr.... I coulda done wi' that issue a while back. There I were, cast adrift in an open boat thousands o' miles from anywhere. There were a length o' stout rope in the boat, so I had a go at shark fishin' wi' me cabin boy as bait.

Ye think a Christmas turkey lasts a long time? Try workin' yer way through a 20' Great White.
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Gristle

Postby black bart on Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:25 am

AARRRRRRRR...Ye must ave been livin on Great White Gristle sandwiches for months!
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Postby The Black Spot on Fri Jul 27, 2007 10:33 am

Aye. I think I be the only castaway 'oo looked healthier after an ordeal.

Still, back t' magazines. I be findin' that Wobbly Wenches be gettin' fewer pages, an half o' them be adverts fer premium rate semaphore lines. Be there any other decent wa -er- nature mags out there?
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Postby DaveL on Fri Jul 27, 2007 5:16 pm

YArrrr...

Oi used to loves readin' 'Rigger', the pirate naturalist magazine. Lots of pictures of pirates and wenches goin about their daily lives - completely nude.

I used to to love the photos of the captain at the wheel of his ship, or the bosun doin his work with his natural assets on show. Nature can be 'a most humbling experience' even for a pirate.

Unfortunately the deck hands used to flog 'em from me quarters. At best it stopped 'em from fighting.
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Postby Dan(da haole guy) on Fri Jul 27, 2007 9:04 pm

Arr-oha..dis bin long time ago, but we onna "Weeping Pustule" boarded a swank ship 'n' found "Jolly Tars and Their Spars"..com-pleat vol. 1/1 to da las' one vol.1/6.5..dey look li' pizza crusts..it were a werry 'umblin' experryance...took us 2 months uv heavy-dooty recuperatin' in da Port Royal knockin' shoppes to feel see-cure again...brrrrrr..now we no go nevvah down da dank, festerin' holds uv da ships wot we plunder..jus' a cawshun-arry tale, me bruddahs 'n' seestahs...
KAULANA NA PUA A'O FSM..HANO HANO..FSM NO KA OI..
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Damage

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:44 am

DaveL wrote:YArrrr...

I used to to love the photos of the captain at the wheel of his ship, or the bosun doin his work with his natural assets on show. Nature can be 'a most humbling experience' even for a pirate.


AARRRRRRRR...appen the Cap'n be lookin at a copy o 'Wobbly Wenches' whilst drivin...that would be far too dangerous fer a Pirate o my stature...the wheel spinning furiously could do untold damage to me...
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