Don't forget to allude in passing to stories of derring do, with which you can later regale your audience (these stories should under no circumstances be either plausible or true).
For example: "Arr, I be reminded o' the time I war shipwrecked off thee coast of Afrrricarrrr, and were saved by elephants...", or to be truly implausible "Arr, this reminds me o' the toime Black Bart bought a round o' drinks...".
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.