The Captain's Log

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Every day
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Every Week
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Total votes : 60

Postby DaveL on Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:03 pm

4.3.06

Damn Environmentalists!

I had big Brenda in me sights when a Zodiac and camera crew started blockin me shot.

I turned the high pressure hoses on them but to little avail. Followin' repeated warnin's we decided to turn the cannons on them. Now they be Red Pieces instead of Green Peace.

Brenda escaped...last seen headin' north towards the Atlantic...YArrrr...
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IKEA

Postby black bart on Mon Mar 06, 2006 9:54 am

Capn's log Yarr date 6.3.76

YAAARRRR - we be becalmed on the North Circular on our voyage back from IKEA! Luckily we stocked up on Swedish Meat balls for the journey.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby DaveL on Tue Mar 07, 2006 4:12 pm

8.3.06

YArrrrrr...

After visitin Madame Fifi's Oi was told Oi had been given a dose 'the clap'.
Revenge for harpoonin Big Brenda Oi hear.

None of the lads seem to know what it is. Oi keeps listenin down below for the clapping, but nuthin' be happening.

What will happen if Oi see a Royal Navy varmint and he hears me clapping at 'im?
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Becalmed

Postby black bart on Wed Mar 08, 2006 10:13 am

Capns log Yarr date 8.3.76

Becalmed!

Water water every where and all the boards did creak,

Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink...

Still there's plenty o rum, YYAARRRRR.
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Postby Pachyderm on Wed Mar 08, 2006 5:25 pm

Ye can drink water?

What's it taste of?
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Pug

Postby black bart on Thu Mar 09, 2006 8:53 am

Capn's log Yarr date 9.3.76

YYYAAARGH! another clonin disaster...

Still... I got rid of the ginger hair! :D
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Postby DaveL on Thu Mar 09, 2006 4:28 pm

YArrrrr...

Oi thought that Anakin Deckwalker blew up your control ship deactivatin' yers at the Sea Battle of Naboo.

Time to unleash me own secret Bioweapon. A pirate version of JarJar Binks.

YArrrrr...
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Postby Pachyderm on Thu Mar 09, 2006 6:38 pm

That's too far.

"Meesa sorree for the endin' o' th' republic, Cap'n"

If Oi see the knave, heesa gettin' a full volley from the Elephant Marines.

Can't say as Oi'd be worried about collateral damage, neither.
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This is Bunny.
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Postby DaveL on Fri Mar 10, 2006 6:26 am

10.3.06

Dear Diary,

YArrrrrr...

Lads, next toime yer doin a Google Search Type 'Jar Jar Die'.

Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster, there be millions of web sites dedicated to eradicatin' the bugger. There even be a Jar Jar Death Web Ring.

YArrrr...That's it...my world sucks all because of Jar Jar. Blame 'im for everything...

The price of oil goes up...blame Jar Jar.
The Dow Jones takes a dive...blame Jar Jar
Unemployment figures are up...blame Jar Jar
The last three episodes of Star Wars sucked...Ok so they've got a point ...YArrrrr.

Those kiddies obviously haven't been at sea for 6 months without booty...but that's another story...

Oi quoite like this site though...HArrrr...HArrrr...HArrrr...

http://www.angelfire.com/nv/jarjarbinks ... rames.html
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Don't be Dis n me bro...

Postby black bart on Tue Mar 14, 2006 10:30 am

Capn's log yarr date 14.3.76

YYYAARRRR I've been the victim of a Drive by Broadside - I be suspectin me arch enemy - Notorious Big Cutlass Jones. I would ave been a gonner but fortunately I was surrounded by me Clone Pugwash army whose soft fill bodies absorbed alll the damage.
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Postby The Black Spot on Tue Mar 14, 2006 11:34 am

Cap'ns Log Yarrr Date 1692.2

Wasted a pile o' money hirin' Cutlass Jones to bump someone off.

Useliss bastid launched a broadside at a bunch o' badly drawn fat cartoon characters. Have to do it meself I spose.
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Dolphin taming nightmare...

Postby DaveL on Wed Mar 15, 2006 6:38 am

15.3.06

YArrrrr,

Hideous vision through me spyglass...no it's just a dream, it's just a dream.

Big Brenda being ridden like a dolphin at Sea World by Jar Jar Binks. Saw Brenda dive through a flamin hoop and balancin balls on her nose. Jar Jar throwin fish to Brenda for bein a good dolphin...Yarrrr wake up Dave, wake up.

Oi needs to get that hit man Cutlass Jones into me dream. Jar Jar was about to get Brenda to do cute waving at the crowd with her flipper...

YArrrrr...(help!)
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Re: Dolphin taming nightmare...

Postby The Black Spot on Wed Mar 15, 2006 9:15 am

DaveL wrote:Saw Brenda dive through a flamin hoop and balancin balls on her nose.


Yarrr... she be well known fer that. Costs ye extra though.
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Stinky

Postby black bart on Wed Mar 15, 2006 10:09 am

Capn's log Yarr date 15.3.76

Me crew just hauled a strange critter aboard who keeps sayin his name is Jar Jar Stinks or somat like that. He seemed very worried about me clone pirates and kept mutterin somthin about the Dark side o the Force. The bugger was so annoyin we stuffed him in a cannon and fired him back out to sea!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Jack tars

Postby black bart on Wed Mar 15, 2006 1:16 pm

Capn's log Yarr date 15.3.76

YYYAARRR I don't believe it I has orders to report to the Royal Naval base at Portsmouth tomorrow - I thinks they wants a word about me frozen Fish Head Stew I've been supplyin the Jolly Jack tars with!!!!
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