Pirate Chef on the High Seas

[ChowMein]

::::::::::::due to a loste manuscript , an indefinite intermission hath bin declareth:::::::::::

NEFYU ME LADDY !

Ye hathe bin numinated to be arr nue barrtendarr !

At thee moment we be los... er ... delayed at sea , sumwere in water .

Dun ye wurry nun lad , we be findin' ye , ye juste keep up wid thet caterwaulin' thet ye duz , an we be puttin an ex on thee mappe .

Thee Raging Queene be cumeth fer ye NefYoo !
btw, luverly battel face ye be sportin'

Well , it's tyme fer a snack an then a wee siesta ,
now were be all thee bilge rats I had piled up by thee Captin's bunk .............

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

HOKAY !

i wull tell yyahz all abowd how ta mak;
Waddermillin Blud

furst ya nedda bigg bowl
din ya nedda big wadderrmillen
an din yah git da big piirit
wiff da reel cutluss
ta run et fru !
an den

an din ya haz 2 peesez

hokay
ye b onna charr
da wadermilin b in fron ob ye
but oft to ech syde
onna kownterr
anna bowl unner yer chin
an dat b onna kownter too

now mussh in yer hanz
indo da waddermilun
an gab big peece
an sweez wadermillin gutz
an alla wadermiilum blud go indo da bowl
an put sum in yer mowff an mush et
mush et en yer mowff
dwibbil da blud in da bowl
spit da ovver stuff owt cos i ettid lotz
an dint whant enymoar waddermilin

mybe sum wadermilin bludd
b in da waddermilin
sum b on tha kowner
dat hokay
ya get lotz back inna bowl
wiff ye hanz
an ya kin alwaze yuse a straw
but i dint need straw

Now ye kin surve tha wadermilun blud
affer ya pik owt da seedz wiff ye hanz
dem waddermilin seeds b slippy!
et take a long tyme
ta get alla seedz
luky fer me
i go ta washrm a reddy

tha foist 2 cusamers luvd et
but no moor cussamers wen
dey sawd tha keechen b mussy
den thay lookd

i dint cell eny wadermilin blud thet dey .


::::::::::::::( Based on an actual event ):::::::::::::::::::

ummm, now i wull teech ye ta mak;
lychee blud

foist ye git lotz an lotz ove lychee nutz
twy ta be gennel
peel off da skin ove da nutz
den ye moosh alla nutz
an den
viola!
lychee blud !

memmer ta not eet tha pitz !

Da pitz juss look lik chocolit coverd nuts , but dey no, an dey not yummy .