Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby DaveL on Tue Jun 26, 2012 8:30 am

YArrr...

It can't be true, Oi last saw him in New Portsmouth. Has he been chasin' Pirgella or sumthin?
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart on Tue Jun 26, 2012 11:19 am

I suggests we barricade ourselves in the Benbow Cellar...he'll almost certainly have Cronan with him! I be sure to owe him money! I've been livin orf his bar tab for munths :shocked:
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby Roland Deschain on Thu Jun 28, 2012 8:15 am

black bart wrote:I suggests we barricade ourselves in the Benbow Cellar...

There be an halternative motive 'ere, but oi can't quite put me 'ook on it. :haha:
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby The Black Spot on Thu Jun 28, 2012 8:40 am

Olympic Torch Arrives in Portsmouth

Image

There was great excitement in Portsmouth last night when the Olympic flame arrived in the city. Crowds of locals cheered as Olympian Lord Seb Cohen held the torch aloft. The cheering continued as Cohen then ran through the town pursued by a gang of pirates.

Desperate to escape, Cohen flung the Olympic torch into a haystack and got away as the fire spread and burned down half the town.

Mayor Borat Johnston said the event had been "a great success" and "had significantly raised Portsmouth's profile". He also said that the ferrymen would not be getting an Olympic bonus despite the fact that everyone else was.

Christopher Lee is 92.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby anthrobabe on Tue Jul 10, 2012 2:51 pm

Ye lot will not be hidin in me cellar this time!

I tholt ye to leaves dat torch wench be and ye jus had to sidle over and try and be friendly.

In other news Admiral Qwerty be spotted round Oxford sportin shorter locks-- he must 'ave gotten is air tied to madam fifs dinin table again.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby The Black Spot on Thu Jul 19, 2012 5:26 am

High Alert at Olympics over suspicious vehicle


Image

Security services were at full alert last night after a man attempted to drive what police described as a "suspicious vehicle" to the beach volleyball venue.

The driver, Mr O'Shuffle, was issued with a warning, and was given a stern lecture by the vicar.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby DaveL on Thu Jul 19, 2012 7:13 am

YArrr...

He obviously has a very big........nose!
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart on Fri Jul 20, 2012 8:19 am

Donkey Debacle in Portsmouth Thoroughfare Blamed on Wobbly Wench Magazine delivery.

Image

The driver of the vehicle, who was unharmed during the incident, explained that the entire delivery was addressed to a Mr K O'Shuffle of Staines Upon Thames Road. The donkey was well hung.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby Griffin on Sat Jul 21, 2012 11:38 pm

Due to a bit of a mix-up today The Olympic Relay Torch be passssin' thru'

Richmond, Sheffield [City/Town/Village]
Richmond, Richmond uponThames [City/Town/Village]
Richmond, North Yorkshire [City/Town/Village]
Richmond, Aberdeenshire
Richmond, North Yorkshire [Town]
Richmond Castle, North Yorkshire [Place of Interest]
Richmond Fm, Suffolk [Farm]
Richmond Fm, West Sussex [Farm]
Richmond Fm, Nottinghamshire [Farm]
Richmond Fm, North Yorkshire [Farm]
Richmond Hall, Cambridgeshire
Richmond Hill, Isle of Man
Richmond Hill, Richmond uponThames
Richmond Hill, Doncaster
Richmond Hill, Oxfordshire
Richmond Hill, North Yorkshire
Richmond Hill, Leeds [City/Town/Village]
Richmond Hill, Northumberland
Richmond Houses, Lancashire
Richmond Lodge, Buckinghamshire
Richmond Out Moor, North Yorkshire
Richmond Park, Greater London [Land Feature]
Richmond Park, Richmond uponThames
Richmond Plains, Cumbria
Richmond Station, Greater London [Station]
Richmond upon Thames, Greater London [London Borough]
Richmond's Green, Essex [City/Town/Village]
Richmond's in the Wood, Essex
Richmonds Fm, Essex [Farm]

Though not necessarily in that order. Roadside crowds may not be able to get to the next venue fast enugh even with shuffle buses.

Olympic organisers blame it on a computer glicht which unfortunately cannot be corrected in time berore the torch sets off.

The Guaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarduan has offered to work out the best routes and publish them as soon as possibble but defo before the last venue. No one yet knows the number of pubs on root.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart on Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:59 am

Dear Editor,

Wot about Richmond in Virginia?

...and before you say who'd go there...Virginia Wood would!

Coinkeedentallee...Virginia Wood used to live in Richmond Upon Thames!
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby DaveL on Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:40 pm

YArrrr...

We have a few too matey...

Richmond, in NW Sydney
Richmond, Melbourne, the home of the Richmond Tigers AFL Footy Team
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby PKMKII on Wed Aug 08, 2012 12:05 am

It be appeerin' that yankee landlubbers at the Massachussets Bay Colony school of learnin' fer fancy widgets be offerin' classes in the pirate-y arrrghts. Fields be includin' swashbuckling and rasin' o' the sails.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart on Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:01 am

^Arrrr that be wunnerful matey...

I think we ought to have certificates for our home grown Pirates.

Roland is good at doin certificates.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby The Black Spot on Wed Aug 08, 2012 10:30 am

black bart wrote:I think we ought to have certificates for our home grown Pirates.

I's always said that ye should be certified.
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Re: Portsmouth Guaaaaaarrrrrrrrrdian for yer latest news

Postby black bart on Wed Aug 08, 2012 5:22 pm

Where can we get thee "faux parchment"?

Be It like thee pleather wot me Pirate outfit be made from?
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