alrighty then. i haves the beginings of FPP, its like, three paragraphs. Tell me what you think. give me as much critizisem and compliments as you like. I'll probably re-vamp this alot.
Once, before the time of the great Beards, or even of Sir Francis Drake, there was a pirate, feared more than fear itself, and his name was Mad Jack the Deadly.
But this story is not about him. It involves him, but he was kind of a jerk. This story is about Fearsome Pirate Pete. Pirate Pete was your average Pirate, a little more brawn than brains, but still very clever. He sailed with a captian by the name of Smithee in the Caribbean. Smithee often left the crew guarding this ship while he went into town, occaisionally coming back with some reddish sauce-like stains on his mouth. The pirates, being simple-minded as they were, and the captian was rather sophistaced, they figgerd it was some kind of food. Or blood, they werenâ€™t quiet sure, but when ever any of the rookies asked about it, he gained 582 and a half lashing, so they kept them mouths shut.
One day their captian did not return in five hours, which was long enough to announce him legally dead in the Caribbean at that time, so Pirate Pete and his best mate, Tiny, the Midget, decided to search for him. They found him in the alley behind an itallian grog bar. On his dead chest was a lone noodle. Pete instintivly ate it, and started feeling dizzy. His first thought was it was poison, but soon an image of the FSM came into not-so-clear view. he heard unto himself a voice like no other saying, â€œbeware, for the atkins is after your kind.â€ The vision dissapreard, and Pete promptly fell face forward into a pile of old food and rat dung.
He woke up to gun fire and shouting. â€œwhart the hells going on?â€ Tiny, being a canadain replied, â€œMad Jackâ€™s pillaging, eh.â€ â€œwell get the bloody hell off me and start looting ya scavras swab! Weâ€™ll stow away on his ship and sail there.â€ Pete said this without thinking, as usual, but what he did not know was that his words were guided by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. â€œowâ€™d you know our old crew left Eh?â€ â€œthey did? THOSE DAMN BASTARDS!â€ Pirate Pete then went on to loot in a raving madman fashion.
They did stow away on his ship, and blended in quiet well. They made good conversation with the second mate, Nikta. One day, after about a month of pillaging islands, Mad Jack came out of his cabin to talk to the crew. â€œIn light of me first mateâ€™s death, me second mateâ€™s now me first mate. But whoâ€™ll be my second mate now hmm? You there! Yer not one of my pirates! Where the hellâ€™d ye come fromâ€ he pointed at Pete. â€œdâ€™ahar, ah confess, me and me bro stowed away fer we were left behind when we gotâ€¦ uhâ€¦ drunk at a bar somehwheres.â€ â€œWEâ€™LL YER ME SECOND MATE A SCALAWAG! NEXT TIME DONâ€™T BE THINKING ABOUT STEALING AWAY ON ME SHIP YA HEAR?â€ â€œaye capâ€™n.â€
later there will be encounters with Ninjas and Vikings, mutainy, Midgets, Pasta, and possibly a garage band.
oh! and of course, Temptation by Atkins. In addition to critizisem and compliments, I'd love your ideas for the story.
Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one them, it gets up and kills. The people it kill get up and kill!
But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple'