Whinging Pensioner Pirate Rant

[black bart]

YYYAAARRR...What's happenin with Pirates these days...

In My day there was no pink chiffon or frilly shirts...

These youngsters have got no idea...

Bring back the Cat I say!

The weather was better back then an all...tis far too warm these days, we used to ave snow every Christmas!

[The Black Spot]

Arrr matey.

Back in my day, ye used to be able to leave yer hatches open.

Sweets used t' cost a penny a thousand, not the overpriced rubbish ye gets nowadays.

We 'ad proper tunes back then an' all.

[black bart]

YYYAARRR...we had Dubloons then an all, proper coins ye could throw down in front of yer Cabin Musicians. What ave we got today:
Bleedin Euroons...Barrr they keep fallin through the holes in me pants!

[The Black Spot]

An ye used to get rag an' bone men comin' round once a week.

Nowadays, ye can't buy a rag nor bone anywhere.

[black bart]

YYYAARRR Pirates used to be neighbourly in My day. We'd all gather round and sing shanties and play shuv-happeny for hours on end...

...then we'd get bored and start killin each other...but in a neighbourly sort o way!

[The Black Spot]

In my day pirates used to talk to people.

Nowadays, they board a ship an' slit everyone's throat without even a by-your-leave.

Rude, I's call it.

[black bart]

HHAARRR...in My day a Man were a Man and a Wench were a Wench and n'er the twain would ever meet unless it were 'bring a Wench on board' day which fell every fourteenth Micklemass.

Then we danced and danced...no actually we were chasin the wenches round the deck...twere very romantic.

It brings a tear to my eye to remember...happy days.

[The Black Spot]

Have ye noticed how young the revenue men look nowadays?

[black bart]

YYYAAARRRR...Ye got far more weevils to the square inch o biscuit in my day!

[The Black Spot]

ARRRRRR... in my day, cutlasses were built to last. These modern ones be blunt and twisted after hackin' through a few limbs.

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

In my day we used superglue our parrots to our shoulder. None of this animal lib stuff...YArrrr!

[black bart]

Auntie Dee Dee wrote:

Ye best be keepin' yer good eye out fer Brenda

.

YYYYAARRR...We've nothin to worry about that be Berlin Brenda. She be our Brenda's cousin twice removed and only a quarter as heavy!!!!

[The Black Spot]

In my day, Brenda's used to be as big as a house. They only be bungalow sized nowadays.

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Was that Brenda comin' down in the early 1990's that ended communism?

In my day, Oi used to replace me gappy dentures with sharks teeth.
None of that porcelain crown stuff.

[Griffin]

When Oi first went ter sea the Ocean Crier used ter sail around shoutin out the news. Now Oi spend alf me life testin the water fer hot spots jest ter keep meself informed loike.