Scurvy Fleet Disciplinary Board Proceedings

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Nose

Postby black bart on Tue Sep 12, 2006 3:09 pm

...normal red nose left in the court...it definately was not RED NOSE DAY! it was a cunning plan by Boris to escape the hangman's noose!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby DaveL on Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:08 am

Just then several Speznatz Paratroopers entered the court room, quickly hustling Boris out of the courtroom.

Several tear gas cannisters were fired during the raid.

Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD screamed 'Big Ron, was this your doing? I though I told you to lay off the chilli bratwurst before entering the court.

'O'im innocent yer wership. It's those spivs, honest' said Big Ron

"Da...you have not heard zee last of me ceetezens of Piratica" he screamed as a Russian Hind Helicopter whisked him away.

'Well there goes another opportunity for a hanging.' 'Is there anyone else left to try?' said Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD

'Well yes yer honour as a matter of fact we've just arrested someone' said the Bailiff

The court would like to call...
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Postby Griffin on Tue Sep 19, 2006 9:01 pm

Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD shot up an blew er whistle. "Court adjourned til yer all learn ter stop speakin Pirate" her yelled.
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Postby Moonman on Tue Sep 19, 2006 9:33 pm

Oi's beggin yours forgivsness yer ladyship, Big Ron retorted. Oi's forgot it was 'Talk Like A Landlubber Day'.
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Postby OZ_Nick on Wed Sep 20, 2006 6:23 pm

"Oh I say, old pip," said Oz_Nick to Ron "this talk like a landlubber thingy really is a bit of fun, eh what? Jolly good show, I must say." Turning to Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD he continued "Well My Lady, unless you have anything further for me, I shall just pop along back to my ship."

Oz_Nick was just turning to leave when...
----

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Postby OZ_Nick on Wed Sep 20, 2006 6:33 pm

...his internet connection dropped out and he ended up double posting.

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Ah, that feels better.

Any Mod who sees this, please feel free to delete this post.

Now back to the courtroom...
----

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Postby Griffin on Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:09 pm

Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD scanned the court. "Lord Cap'n Treadmill, oi see yer lost yer connection too. Is there a problem in here?".
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Postby OZ_Nick on Thu Sep 21, 2006 12:10 am

"Mwa ha ha ha harrrr!" Came a deathly voice from Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD's notebook computer.

It was the dread voice of Bad Cap'n Willum "Foureyes" Hatches AKA The Big Nerd, leader of the worst lot of low-life double-dealing two-faced avaricious pirates in the known (or unknown) universe - Scumsoft.

Scumsoft, the creators of the most virulent bucaneering computer virus of all time, Portholes XP.

"Now there me hearties," Cap'n Willum went on, "Oi'll be not hearin ennie more o' thar lanlubber talk, ye'll all be noticin the automatik Portohles Update hez intall'd a new Piratin languije modjool wot will be automatikly translatin any o that lanlubber jibberish inter proper pirate talk."

Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD looked none too pleased. She tried to say "What is the meanin of this outrage?", but her voice was drowned out by the notebook computer from which was heard "Avarst ye blaggard, Oi'll be given ye a taste o cold steel iffen ye don't shove off!"

The public gallery was aghast, never before had they heard Judge Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPh, EdD utter such words. Then, dissapearing off into the ethernet they heard a faint laugh and could just make out the words "Ha ha harrr, me werke be done here..."

No one was game to say anything for a few moments then...
----

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Postby Moonman on Sat Sep 23, 2006 1:12 am

With a cold eye the Baliff perused the gallery spying none other than the most feared derelict ever to sail without a proper Letter of Marque. The young Robert Henderson, affectionatley known to his crew as Bad Dick! It'd be brought to my attentions, the Baliff announced, that you are holding a wench o' sorts, engaging in the crime of witchcraft. Who be this damned perveyor of unspeakable evil. Bad Dick surveyed the gallery, knowen that they were itching for a corporal hanging. "This be a private matter" Bad Dick muttered... "none of yer damned concern"!!!
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Postby Moonman on Sat Sep 23, 2006 9:40 pm

NOT my concern? Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD MBE, DVM, RPH, EdD, her face screwed up in a knot. NOT MY CONCERN!!! She now bellowed across the courtroom!!! Bring this wench to me!!! I want her in my courtroom NOW!!! Bad Dick cowered under Lady Prunella's glare. Oi's can't bring her here, she has to stay on the ship! Why??? Prunella demanded, Adding "we'll have a proper hanging here yet or my name isn't Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPH, EdD!!!"

Just then DaveL spoke up, "Yer Ladyship, Oi Begs yer forgiveness, Oi am the acting solicitor for Bad Dick and will explain. This wench in question has remoin'd on this derelict ship after it t'was set adrift in stormy seas, foundering with a hold full of adolescent waifs needing some moinding. Out of pure koindness she has mentor'd these hapless lads and lasses. The ship has just now drifted into port and been reunited with it's former Captain, Bad Dick. It's been discovered that this wench's faculties have been controlled by a peculiar Demon. A monster of sorts...


STOP!!! Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPH, EdD exhorted. I'm Swearing in Big Ron as a Deputy and issueing a Warrent... who's name do I place on this writ!

DaveL whispered a name, his lips trembling... Lady P. raised her voice to scream!!! WHO'S NAME!!! DaveL tried again... Duh Duh he stuttered. Lady P! BELLOWED!!! WHOOOOO!!!! This time DaveL squared his shoulders glanced quickly, at Bad Dick, then back to Lady Prunella Boadicea Springer-Spaniel Bonehart, JD, MBE, DVM, RPH, EdD and simply stated. Why it's none other than my dear beloved Auntie Dee Dee. A pall set on the courtroom as it became deathly quiet, and simply deathly as Big Ron emited a flatulence so forceful that his panteloons billowed like genoa in a gale. Lady P held the writ out to Big Ron, holding her nose with the other hand and announced... "Bring her to me"... "and clear out this courtroom she announced to those fleeing from Big Rons fishhead stew fueled emmitance. This trial will start in the morning".
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Postby Moonman on Sun Sep 24, 2006 9:16 pm

Big Ron strolled down the familiar steets, stopping for a pint of bitters here and there, and finally made his way down to the wharf. He kept his eyes pealed for Bad Dicks' ship, a sharp looking Corvette stolen from the French, renamed no less the Flying Ranter. Wharf rats scurried in all directions as Big Ron continued to break a bit of wind, he still hadn't recovered from his supper of fish head stew. The Big guy stopped in his tracks as he came upon the stern of Bad Dicks' ship. With a giant red slash the word Ranter had been crossed out. Written underneath in the same paint were the words Spaghetti Monster. Big Ron writ in hand, scratched his enormous... (lets just say head). And muttered to himself... "Wod en bloody hell is spaghetti"? As Big Ron prepared to board, he heard a commotion from behind. DaveL followed by Bad Dick were running towards him...
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Postby Moonman on Tue Sep 26, 2006 12:33 am

Standing in front of the gangplank, Big Ron waited for DaveL and Bad Dick. It was then he noticed the scribbling added to the Cross of St. George, flying in the breeze; a bunch of squiggles with eyes. There was a banner, over the door, FSM, again in the same red as the writting on the stern. Before he could present his writ, Big Ron heard Bad Dick exclaim... " Oi'm taken over now"... Bad Dick made his way onto his ship, leaving Big Ron and DaveL waiting on the Wharf. Aunt Dee Dee came out onto the deck, nodding to Bad Dick and greeted him with a, "wher've you been". Bad Dick took a moment to observe the flag, breaking out with a grin and exclaiming to Aunt Dee Dee in a low voice, "the Noodlyone would be proud". To which Aunt Dee Dee replied... "Pride is a vice! Bad Dick". Just then Big Ron cleared his throat and cleared the gangplank with another self emmitted cloud O' death. DaveL yelled, "He's got a Benchwrit, your coming with us". Aunt Dee Dee turned to look at a group of wayward waifs fleeing from yet another Fishhead stew weapon of mass destruction. "OK Bad Dick... then here are your pastafarians". Aunt Dee Dee took a deep breath and holding her nose charged down the gangplank. Bad Dick couldn't help but wonder if Aunt Dee Dee was in too much of a hurry to leave the ship... Tomorrow, the trial begins
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Postby DaveL on Tue Sep 26, 2006 6:06 am

The following day, the Portmouth Courtroom was filled with figures from past and present. In the back of the court room stood a rather mysterious bunch of monks with funny fish symbols, looking very forlorn.

Judge Pru entered the court room.

"I'm feeling like a real hanging is about to occur today. How blows the hangmans noose Lord High Executioner"

"Very well your honour. It be a good day for someone to die" said Garibaldus the Executioner.

Send in the defendant...
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Postby PantyGnawer on Tue Mar 25, 2008 3:23 am

PG sneaks in and steals all your rum
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Re: Scurvy Fleet Disciplinary Board Proceedings

Postby Griffin on Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:09 am

Case No 5487 - Pirate High Council V Black Bart

Tis held that Black Bart 'as sneeked back from transportation wile no wun were lookin'.

Tis also 'halleged that Bart Bart's bin tamperin' wiv stuff.

Justice Julia Probender-Court-Sqwash bangs 'er gavel, twice.

Proceedin' commmense.
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