NOT COMMANDMENTS, SUGGESTIONS

[Solipsy]

Two things to keep in mind: OUR RELIGION IS WAY BETTER, and WE HAVE FLIMSY MORAL STANDARDS.

On that note, we don't have COMMANDMENTS, we have SUGGESTIONS. We don't have ten, we have as many or as few as we decide we like. By we, I mean all of us, you, me, the Council of Olive Garden, The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Let's all toss them out for consideration.

Here are the "gimme's"

"Ye ought not do stuff ye already know is wrong, like killing, lying, cheating, stealing, etc. Do ye really need these carved into a rock?"

"Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business."

"Be kind unto others whether they are kind unto you or not, for it maketh you the better person in most situations, and occasionally it doth piss off an idiot, which is funny unto Your Lord the Sauced One."

What's next?

[verbtea]

I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You shall have no other monsters before me. (Afterwards is OK; just use protection.)

[Solipsy]

ROFL.... being a nitpicky scribe, however, I'm gonna capitalize "monster"

[verbtea]

Don't you dare! The only Monster who deserves capitalization is Him! Other monsters are false monsters, undeserving of capitalization.

[Solipsy]

okay, okay, point taken.... ::: takes out flail, begins to flagellate self ::: begins to chant "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy" over and over again.....

[Sic]

Ye shalt make no graven pasta.

Ye shall throw waffles at thy neighbor's kittens.

[Solipsy]

Verbtea, I'm just wonderin'.... and I'll keep my flail handy, cause I see you get a tad testy once in a while... if we could incorporate your SUGGESTION with its follow-up, to whit:

"I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You shall have no other monsters before Me. (Afterwards is OK; just use protection.) The only Monster who deserves capitalization is Me! Other monsters are false monsters, undeserving of capitalization."

::::cowers:::: ::::prepares to flagellate and grovel::::

::::mutters to self "this scribe gig is NOT worth the constant self-flagellation"::::

[Qwertyuiopasd]

and the Monster spoketh.

"hey, try not to buy too much useless crap, K?"

and it was proclaimed.


i just got the best idea ever. i was thinking of usesless crap, like 95 inch Plasma TV's,

so why not make a radio in the image of his noodlyness? the meatballs would be the speakers, and a noodly appendage would be the antenna. you could twist his eyes for tuning and volume. twould be perfect. if we found someone stupid enough to manufacture it.

[Pirate Reggie]

"Tho shalt not sleep with thine neighbors wife specialy if thot art married. Of course unless thou neighbors wife's husbands is like a complete jerk and tho knoweth that you couldth take himith toith the cleaners anyday ofith the weekith and if tho wife is like totaly cool with it."

ramen

[Qwertyuiopasd]

"Tho shalt not sleep with thine neighbors wife specialy if thot art married. Of course unless thou neighbors wife's husbands is like a complete jerk and tho knoweth that you couldth take himith toith the cleaners anyday ofith the weekith and if tho wife is like totaly cool with it."

ramen

and especially if thou neighbors wife is friggin hot.

[Solipsy]

likin' the "Thou shall try not to buy too much useless crap" one... Qwerty, you get a LOT of random ideas like Spaghetti Monster radios... do you experience racing thoughts? If these racing thoughts are accompanied by disembodied voices which speak to you, you might want to talk to a doctor .

As for the "multi-conditional adultery suggestion..." I think that falls under the "Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business." and also the "Ye ought not do stuff ye already know is wrong, like killing, lying, cheating, stealing, etc. Do ye really need these carved into a rock?" suggestion in the Flimsy Moral Standards Random Number of Suggestions.

Translation: People with a conscience know what hurts others. If they choose to do it anyway, they should suffer the consequences, and the people who aren't involved should keep their noses out of it. (Except in cases like murder, theft, etc, where people who break laws need to be caught, stopped, and suitably dealt with.)

[teripie]

Can we plunder a lot of useless crap?

[The Chaplain]

Be it suggested unto thou that thou takest thy Noodly Master with a chianti to accentuate your worship therof

[The Chaplain]

never once was the word eat used, and specifically because of the non-transubstantial belief.

the idea is based on these being "suggestions" and if you look it up the "suggested" wine to accompany the most holy of dishes is a chianti.

[Solipsy]

The Wise Council of Olive Garden has approved the following Suggestions to Date:

I. "I am the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You shall have no other monsters before Me. (Afterwards is OK; just use protection.) The only Monster who deserves capitalization is Me! Other monsters are false monsters, undeserving of capitalization."

II. "Ye ought not do stuff ye already know is wrong, like killing, lying, cheating, stealing, etc. Do ye really need these carved into a rock?"

III. "Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business."

IV. "Hey, try not to buy too much useless crap, OK?"

V. "Be kind unto others whether they are kind unto you or not, for it maketh you the better person in most situations, and occasionally it doth piss off an idiot, which is funny unto Your Lord the Sauced One."

The Council of Olive Garden has thus decreed that These Five Suggestions are Thus Far Accepted and Shall Be Considered Among the Canon though there is plenty of room for more, and thus it shall be so. Topic Decided.