DAVE L WEDS PIRGELLA
It was a grand occasion at Portsmouth Cathedral when Dave L Bucaneer, Scoundrel and Local Drunkard married his long term wench the lovely Pirgella.
Pirgella was resplendent in a red satin gown that fortunatly masked the blood stains from one of the invited guests who had made the mistake of telling her she was lovely. Dave L's cutlass all sharp and polished claimed its first victim of a busy day.
Even Dave L had brushed himself up, his hat was on straight, he'd washed his beard and polished his hook. Whereas Pirgella had shaved her legs with a ladies razor Dave L used a plane to smooth out the lumps in his wooden leg.
The service was briefly interupted when a group of gatecrashers tried to force their way in by blowing a hole in the side of the cathedral with musket fire, however they were no match for the best man 'The Black Spot' who with his gang of unruly swabs charged at them with hammers, pickaxes and rocks leaving a pile of bodies on the cathedral steps.
The speeches were mercifully short The Black Spot said "I never liked ye much but as ye are paying for me ale then I'll mek an excepion for t'day"
The happy couple have not announced any honeymoon plans but as Dave L is wanted for the serious crimes of Piracy, Murder, doing unspeakable things with Cabin Boys and for smoking in the Admiral Benbow he was smuggled out of Portsmouth by his crew shortly after the reception finished. Shortly after Dave L had left then Pirgella was observed sneaking out of a side entrance arm in arm with a drunk and lecherous Black Bart.
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.