Arrr-Bay (Non Portsmouth Branch)

Arrr, I be a pirate!

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Arrr-Bay (Non Portsmouth Branch)

Postby black bart on Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:30 am

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

One Pitbull Terrier

Name: Charles but answers to Fang or Godzilla

One previous owner...deceased

Loves children...that's why we had to chain im in the bilge!

Good at killin Bilge rats, either the organised or disorganised type.

Any Reasonable offer considered

Buyer to collect only...please bring a large iron cage.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby The Black Spot on Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:58 am

Seller: Openboat
Member since: 1695
Feedback: -17

Current Bid: 1 groat


Ye be biddin' on

THE KNUCKLES O'SHUFFLE COMMEMORATIVE ONAN SHEET

You too can celebrate the brief life of this colourful character. This is your chance to own an actual piece of the mainsail that Knuckles cut up to help while away the lonely nights at sea.

Each piece measures a manly 10" square (if you can flatten it out) and is made of high quality marine canvas.

Comes with a 16 page commemorative booklet. Unfortunately all the pages are stuck together.


****BUY WITH CONFIDENCE****
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The Black Spot
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Postby DaveL on Mon Jun 25, 2007 5:01 pm

Seller: Modquest Inc.
Member since: 1702
Feedback: variable
Current Bid: 1 Dubloon

Ye biddin on:

Pirate Board Moderator

Add life to your pirate forum with this colourful character. Watch him steer your pirates around your board in a jiffy. Create new and interesting threads which have with nothing to do with ninjas, Johhny Depp or other pirate internet cliches .

Completey fluent in over 5 forms of Piratespeak, watch your board grow into something viable and happening. Watch him interact with a host of scurvy varmints that will make others laugh their artificial limbs off.

Your moderator is experienced with many forms of pirate troll, including the 'Taichi', feisty ninja types and the spamming newbie.

Watch your list of funny threads grow in an instant. Hours of fun for the nautically inclined.

***EDIT YOUR ADMIN SETTINGS TODAY***
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feet

Postby black bart on Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:52 am

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

A year's supply of Colonel Cutlass's bargain bucket battered chicken feet:

Image

Nutritious and Finger Lickin Good

Choice of sauces: Fish, Fish Head or Mary Rose (We called it that cos we raised it off the Mary Rose wreck)

Any Reasonable offer considered

Will be delivered daily at your home
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Postby walktheplank on Tue Jun 26, 2007 9:09 am

Seller: ItsaCon PLC
Member: Since: 17th Century
Feedback: Rubbish
Current Bid: 10 Groats

ItsaCon PLC suppliers of quality Pirate Merchandise are pleased to offer this extremely rare piece of Pirate memorabilia to our discerning clients.

BLACK BART's BEARD

Well its not the whole beard but a few dead strands. Its authenticity can be established due to the extremely strong smell and the decomposed chunks of Fish Head Stew still contained within it.

Buyer to collect as our courier company cannot be persuaded to deliver it as the smell causes their delivery staff to vomit violently.
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
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walktheplank
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Confessions

Postby Auntie Blackbeard on Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:43 am

Seller: blackauntie
Feedback: 100%
Member: Since toim began

You are bidding for:

The complete confessions of every pirate on the board. All gory details included...what Pirgella did with who...what Black Bart offered the judge on the Scurvy Disciplinary Board trial to stop being transported to OZ...what's livin underneath Walktheplank's wig...how the Black Spot cried when he was forced to eat his favourite cabin boy...where Dave L gets his pink dresses...and much, much more.

Current bid: 5,000,000 Cronans from Black Bart
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Postby ChowMein on Wed Jun 27, 2007 4:19 pm

I be reporting on fishstewpot , dat useliss mutt be bitten off da rong leggs .

Wots I ta do wiff all deez chewed up timber ?
Quote :" ARRR! GAGAGAGA ! , ...de sailin' loife fer me. ARR! GAGAGAGAGa....arr gagaga.....a...". (Popeye The Sailor)
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Postby DaveL on Wed Jun 27, 2007 4:55 pm

Seller: Portsmouth Harbour Authority

Feedback: Inefficient Bureaucrats

Member: Since one of our tenured staff had more time on his hands than Tom Hanks in 'Marooned'

Item: Hackles the Rescue Dog

Image

Notes: This newly created character, once owned by Black Bart, has been in service with the Portsmouth Harbour Authority for over 10 years. Hackles has been responsible for over 200 rescues in Portsmouth Harbour alone, including the great storm of 1702.

In true public servant style, Hackles recently qualified for early retirement, as he was never allowed to take holidays or sick leave. Hackles is now looking for a new home, and it could be yours.

Hackles comes complete with a golden dog collar, rescue ropes, emergency whistles and a strap on semaphore set. Your family will never be safer when you're out on the water. Watch Hackles fend off evil pitbulls from your front lawn in a jiffy!

Other Notes: Hackles also comes with an optional blindfold, which the Harbour Authority have used to keep him from female company for over 10 years. NOTE: Our organisation is not responsible if Hackles gets let off his leash.

**WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND ORDERING THE BLIND FOLD!!**

Starting Bid: Please fill out the 7 accompanying forms. Our petty minded clerk with nothing else to do will contact you with a starting price, when he gets out of his meeting about having more meetings.
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Godzilla

Postby black bart on Wed Jun 27, 2007 5:00 pm

ChowMein wrote:I be reporting on fishstewpot , dat useliss mutt be bitten off da rong leggs .

Wots I ta do wiff all deez chewed up timber ?


You mean you let Godzilla...Sorry, Charlie, out of the large iron cage...you've only got yourself to blame mate!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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black bart
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Postby ChowMein on Sat Jun 30, 2007 1:01 am

Seller Madame Fifi

Feedback 100%

Member since 1746


Ye be bidding on one used "Cat O' Nine Tails" !

Yea , the much loved cat o' nine tails is a bit worn over the years but the cats' colours are still discernible ; 2 each of tabby,ginger,black,calico and one gray.

Opening Bid : What 'ave ye got ?
Quote :" ARRR! GAGAGAGA ! , ...de sailin' loife fer me. ARR! GAGAGAGAGa....arr gagaga.....a...". (Popeye The Sailor)
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ChowMein
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Postby walktheplank on Mon Jul 09, 2007 4:56 am

Seller: Taichi Enterprises Ltd
Member: Ages
Feedback: Rubbish
Current Bid: 1 Groat

Taichi Enterprises Ltd are please to offer this rare book detailing the history of Piracy during the 17th century.

VERY SERIOUS BOOK ON PIRACY

Before you purchase you may wish to read the following book reviews

This is a very serious book on Piracy and there is nothing within it that will make you laugh, you want some jokes and funny antidotes don't read this.
Portsmouth Guuarrrdian

This book contains some very deep and meaningful discussions about the impact Piracy had in the 17th Century if you like that sort of thing, we don't.
Porstmouth Literacy Circle

There is no question that the author knows his subject but it is written with all the panache of an obituary in The Times, hard going even for an aficionado.
The Pirate Times

Total bollocks
Dave L
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and goodwill shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
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Tossed

Postby black bart on Mon Jul 16, 2007 7:11 am

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.00001%
Member: Since 1765


You are bidding for:

"Tossed on the Seven Seas" The complete and unabridged memoires of 'Knuckles O'Shuffle.'

Condition: Stained, with many of the pages torn out.

Current Bid: 1 Cronan

Hurry up before the rest of the pages go!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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black bart
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Postby ChowMein on Mon Jul 16, 2007 9:02 pm

Seller : Capn. Ed Leany

Member since : 1674

Feedback You'd better say 100% !


Ye be biddin on : Wun Pitbull Terror ! (plus free iron cage ) !

Be the prowd owner of a fun loving doggie .

Loves chullun an elders , speshully wen day be raw .

Dont be fooled by bad press , be informed for yerself wen ye gits "Godziila" ta kep yore yung cabin boys safe from Cap. Cronan or Knuckles O'Shuffle .

Costs nuttin ta feed , ole Godzilla will kep yore ship manned by only the stongist , smartist , fastist , an hellteist .


NO RESERVE
Quote :" ARRR! GAGAGAGA ! , ...de sailin' loife fer me. ARR! GAGAGAGAGa....arr gagaga.....a...". (Popeye The Sailor)
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ChowMein
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Toys

Postby black bart on Tue Jul 17, 2007 6:51 am

ChowMein wrote:Seller : Capn. Ed Leany

Member since : 1674

Feedback You'd better say 100% !


Ye be biddin on : Wun Pitbull Terror ! (plus free iron cage ) !

Be the prowd owner of a fun loving doggie .

Loves chullun an elders , speshully wen day be raw .

Dont be fooled by bad press , be informed for yerself wen ye gits "Godziila" ta kep yore yung cabin boys safe from Cap. Cronan or Knuckles O'Shuffle .

Costs nuttin ta feed , ole Godzilla will kep yore ship manned by only the stongist , smartist , fastist , an hellteist .


NO RESERVE


ye forgot ta mention:

Only 450 previous owners!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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black bart
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Postby ChowMein on Thu Jul 19, 2007 3:57 pm

Seller : Popeye

Member since: 1765

Feedback : : Huh ?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGagagagaga..Youse be bidden onna a big jug oves OLIVES OIL ! .AHHHgagagaga....Dis olives oil be may nought be vurgin butz it tastes okay siderin ware it cum frum ....AHHHH Gagagaga.....

Openin bid be 100 pounz o' spinach ...AHHHHHHgagagaga......
Quote :" ARRR! GAGAGAGA ! , ...de sailin' loife fer me. ARR! GAGAGAGAGa....arr gagaga.....a...". (Popeye The Sailor)
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