Warning about the FSM Kiwi Motivation test pg47/48

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Warning about the FSM Kiwi Motivation test pg47/48

Postby robincapper on Wed May 09, 2007 9:15 am

As a Kiwi [human] Pastafarian I was concerned by the claim and suggested test for Kiwi bird [Apteryx] flying ability on pages 47/48 of the Gospel.

The Kiwi is hardly thriving thanks to imported predators and habitat loss so the thought of many being needlessly subjected to motivation tests, even possible harm, seemed a waste.

While my faith is strong I am aware faith is not always the best guide so consulted a well recognised Government Conservation Agency with widely acknowledged expertise in the Kiwi biology. The submission and their response can be seen here:

http://rcd.typepad.com/personal/2007/05 ... iwi_a.html
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Postby PastaMyBedtime on Sun May 13, 2007 8:37 am

A most well-considered question and even more (and usually) well-written response by the "Agency"...

I shall therefor refrain from testing this particular theorem and simply accept as a point of Faith that the Kiwi CAN fly (when it wants to) as well as other avian forms. Others accept far odder things as a point of THEIR Faiths and expect us to doso as well, so this shouldn't be offensive to His Noodliness.

And if it is, well....

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Re: Warning about the FSM Kiwi Motivation test pg47/48

Postby Platypus Enthusiast on Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:51 am

Can we start cloning kiwis?
Check out an official Pastafarian holy book, the Loose Canon: http://loose-canon.fsm-consortium.com/the-loose-canon/

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Re: Warning about the FSM Kiwi Motivation test pg47/48

Postby Gethsemane on Sat Jan 03, 2009 3:50 pm

Hi,
The only explanation for Kiwi birds being unable to fly, in my opinion, is that they are in fact flying assassins intent on wiping out the rest of the pirate population. In a response to this, the FSM has bound their wings with his Noodly Appendages, and also named the birds after a fruit to demoralise them.

:fsm: Gethsemane :fsm:
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Re: Warning about the FSM Kiwi Motivation test pg47/48

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial on Sun Jan 04, 2009 9:59 am

Gethsemane wrote:The only explanation for Kiwi birds being unable to fly, in my opinion, is that they are in fact flying assassins intent on wiping out the rest of the pirate population. In a response to this, the FSM has bound their wings with his Noodly Appendages, and also named the birds after a fruit to demoralise them.

Brilliant. You need t apply for a government grant to research this theory properly. Seven or eight million ought to cover it.
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

OK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.
-- Dr. Joy

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."
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Re: Warning about the FSM Kiwi Motivation test pg47/48

Postby Gethsemane on Sun Jan 04, 2009 12:13 pm

seven or eight million in cash or in kiwi birds?
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Re: Warning about the FSM Kiwi Motivation test pg47/48

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial on Sun Jan 04, 2009 12:24 pm

I'd take it in the birds. They'll probably hold their value better than the cash will.
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

OK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.
-- Dr. Joy

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."
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Re: Warning about the FSM Kiwi Motivation test pg47/48

Postby Gethsemane on Sun Jan 04, 2009 12:37 pm

Words of Wisdom :D
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Re: Warning about the FSM Kiwi Motivation test pg47/48

Postby Dan (dat haole dude) on Sun Jan 04, 2009 2:55 pm

Aloha, Gethsemane, ya might wanna expand yer "research base" to include all ratites..(bigger grant! more travel! better-looking 'research assistants'!)..watch out fer those cassowaries tho--they're a bit testy about bein' tested (bring 'em pasta and SPAM, it'll calm 'em down some)..& happy roving rustically ratite researching.. :twisted:
'Oli no au i na pono FSM e
E hau'oli na 'opio o FSM nei
'Oli e! 'Oli e!
Mau ke aloha, no FSM
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Re: Warning about the FSM Kiwi Motivation test pg47/48

Postby Mad Willyum Bonney on Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:55 am

Hey matey , wun ove yer compatriots dun used thot wun here sumtyme lass yeer .

It was wiped off thee boards by Rain .

So .... G'Bye !
Remembering St. John
Remembering Auntie DeeDee
Remembering times of innocence
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