Loose Canon - The Book of Clarifications Submissions

[Platypus Enthusiast]

Ahoy dudes. The wise and starchy Second Council of Olive Garden is searching for holy scripture to be added to the Loose Canon. The Council is only accepting stuff the fits the whole FSM thing, so no hate-mongering, supporting things that obviously contradict our teachings, or general douchey stuff. Also, I'm a lazy man, so number your verses.

What I'm going for here is a listing of Pastafarian values, teachings, and ideas written in the most straightforward and explicit way possible, so as not to cause a holy war a couple thousand years from now. For example: Don't kill anyone, even if they disagree with you.

[Ubi Dubium]

1. Do not condemn another's choice of pasta, for all varieties of noodles are worthy.

[DaveL]

2. Thall shalt associate the following descriptors:

Midget
Midgit
Little dudes
Mini-me
Vern Troyer look alikes
Tiny Folk
Munchkins...

...as HIS holy chosen ones.

Praise them, for they are blessed.

[Platypus Enthusiast]

Sorry, I had just copied and pasted part of my message in the first post without rereading it. Since you guys aren't writing anything real long in this thread, you don't have to number your verses.

[Ubi Dubium]

3. Thou shalt number thy verses, because it's fun and might annoy the god-bots.

[Ubi Dubius]

4. All who claim to be Pastafarian are True Pastafarians(TM). There is no True Pastafarian(TM) Aptitute Test (TPAT).
5. No Pastafarian shall judge who is a better, truer, or finer Pastafarian.

[Platypus Enthusiast]

3. Thou shalt number thy verses, because it's fun and might annoy the god-bots.

lol, very nice

I guess I'll make my example official then.

6. Don't kill anyone, even if they disagree with you.

[Tigger_the_Wing]

7. Do not criticise another's interpretation of the phrase 'Pirate Garb' for their interpretation might be guided by a noodly appendage. It is enough that they maketh the effort.

(Edited - Sorry, forgot the number! )

[StJason]

There is some overlap with a few of these. How about some compiliation?

4. (v.2): Judge not thy crewmate's pirate garb, nor his pesto, nor his devotion to the Spaghetti Monster. As thou are lacking in cooking skill or ability to cobble together thy own buckle shoes, so to do thy crewmates seek True Pastafarianism in different manners. Plus, who died and made thou Flying Spaghetti Monster, anyway?

[Detective TurtleHolmes]

So this could actually be in the Revised Gospel? Sweet.

9(?): Thou shalt accept all varieties of liquour as Good. Rum, whilst being thy Holy Pirate's beverage of choice, is not a necessity-eth.

10(?): If thy be a midgit, do not judge thyself higher than thy Taller. Holier-than-thou talk dost not get thou anywhereth.

[Roy Hunter]

11-ish. Even the tall may have an inner midgit crying out to be recognised.

[Ubi Dubium]

12. Thou shalt always follow the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (pesto be upon Him) with the words "pesto be upon Him" or some other such honorary. This goes for the great Prophet Bobby (pesto be upon Him) too.

[Almighty Doer of Stuff]

12a. Unless you're pressed for time or don't feel like it. The FSM isn't that stuck up, usually.

[black bart]

11-ish. Even the tall may have an inner midgit crying out to be recognised.

What about people of medium height...can we have an inner midget?...or must we settle for an MGB Midget?

13. If thou art a midget upon a mountain, taketh thy time to climb for thy legs are small.

[Platypus Enthusiast]

This is a checkpoint for the compilation purposes of the Second Council of Olive Garden. Please ignore and go about your business.