All things Fine and Noodley

[Helene Potier]

I have written this song out of my love for the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I am no great talent, but I am firm in the belief that my (alas) imperfect praise of His Noodley Majesty will nevertheless be appreciated.

All Things Fine and Noodley

All things fine and Noodley
All Meatballs great and small,
Penne, Ragù, Fusili
Our Monster made them all.

Each twirly pasta that pleases
Each long noodle that strings
He made us sauce with cheeses
He made Spaghetti Rings.

All things good and pasta-ry
We’ll eat and love them all.
For in His worldly Mastery
Our Monster made them all.

[tris]

Eh up lass, I like yer "All Things Fine and Noodley" song, but, if you don't mind, I'd just make a couple of adjustments to make it scan better!

All things fine and Noodley
All Meatballs great and small,
Penne, Farfalle, Fusilli (There's a nice alliteration of the Fs and Ls now! also Ragù has the accent on the second syllable, so that doesnt scan right and Fusilli has two Ls)
Our Monster made them all.

"Each twirly twist that pleases
All noodly strips and strings (I'm not sure string is an appropriate verb here! and "Spaghetti" does of course mean "little strings" in italian!)
He made us sauce with cheeses
He made Spaghetti Rings."

Anyway you are free to discard my suggestions as you see fit!

Here's my version of the Lords Prayer in the section entitled "Holy Prayers" of "Scripture and Lore" http://www.venganza.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=6662&start=15 Holy Prayers. Since you have a finely developed poetic sensibility I trust you'll enjoy it:

Our monster so great, such art in the plate
Hallowed be thy scrummy yummy juicy sauces
Thy kingdom come, some day, but not too late:
Before we move onto our second courses!
Give us this day our daily pasta
And forgive us if we sometimes overcook it
As we forgive them who eat it much faster
(The important thing is not to overlook it!)
And lead us not into false consummation
Of dire dodgy dishes: nasty noodles or Ramen
For thine is the source of the saucy sensation
Forever and ever Spaghetti Monster amen!

Oh by the way... back in October 2008 I started a poem in the "Holy Prayers" section of "Scripture and Lore" (where you'll also find an anti fanatic poem of mine)

1 Meatball 2 meatballs, Spaghetti so holy!
Linguine, cappellini, fusilli, ravioli!
Humbly we worship thee all as we eat
And throw ourselves down at thy noodly feet!

For we will obey our great noodly master
Who speaks to us while we're devouring our pasta.
Rigatoni and ramen, and saucy pennette
Orecchiette al dente and soft conchigliette...

Maybe you'd like to continue it!

PS I like your paisley pattern... very psychedelic!

[Helene Potier]

thank you for the construcive criticism, i found your suggestions veey useful. I don't know about the "strings" bit though. I like to make verbs out of words that wouldnt normally be verbs. but i suppose yours scans a bit better. if id spent a long time on it, and if i knew a bit more about different kinds of pasta, it might have been better. but there you go.

I loved your version of the lords prayer, it made me laugh. i was so creative and funny. sure, ill have a go at carrying on that poem, but poems arent really my strong point. i only did All Things Fine and Noodley because it's the only religious song ive ever heard of.

Thank you for your compliments. I might just start boasting to people, "I've been told I have a finely developed poetic sensibility, you know. Oh, yes, it's true."

Yours,
Sister Helen Potts, Hymn Leader of the Pastafarian Branch of Dearneside.

p.s, is that all of what youve got of that poem so far? i dont want to carry it on if someone else has already started.
p.p.s. Ok, im back and am editing my post again, because regardless of your answer to my previous question ive written another verse. just one. I cant find the post you were talking about, so im going to post my bit here:


Our love is the Meatball and the Meatball is Love,
We twist round our forks thy bounty from above!
We eat in the enlightened knowledge that you
Are watching and blessing us all as we chew.

[tris]

I might just start boasting to people, "I've been told I have a finely developed poetic sensibility, you know. Oh, yes, it's true."

Go for it! the extra verse is up to scratch!

I'm glad you accepted "the construcive criticism" and enjoyed my FSM lords prayer... there are loads of alternative versions of it on the site! They ought to have a competition to decide which is the best...

It's funny how you "Musicked" (HOW'S that for Noun-Verb transformation!?) All Things Bright and Beautiful... I had just beeing doing a wee research into the origin of "morning has broken", since I was convinced it wasn't really by cat stevens. IN FACT THE original music is a traditional Scottish ditty written in Gaelic.
The text of All Things Bright and Beautiful was apparently written in 1848 by Ce­cil F. Al­ex­an­der (1818-95) 17th cent. English melody; arr. by Martin Shaw in the village of Dunster, and may have been inspired by a verse from S. T. Coleridge's The Rime of the Ancient Mariner -
"He prayeth best, who loveth best; All things great and small; For the dear God who loveth us; He made and loveth all."
Apparently there's a Monty Python parody too...

I'm afraid that was all I'd got of that poem so far... I guess no-one was inspired or they didnt find the thread.
Here's another verse... all about percieving the intervention of The FSM in his creation through "READING THE THREADS" of pasta in a divinatory way, like a augur reading the sacrificial entrails...

1 Meatball 2 meatballs, Spaghetti so holy!
Linguine, cappellini, fusilli, ravioli!
Humbly we worship thee all as we eat
And throw ourselves down at thy noodly feet!

For we will obey our great noodly master
Who speaks to us while we're devouring our pasta.
Rigatoni and ramen, and saucy pennette
Orecchiette al dente and soft conchigliette...

Our love is the Meatball and the Meatball is Love,
We twist round our forks thy bounty from above!
We eat in the enlightened knowledge that you
Are watching and blessing us all as we chew.

So we munch to your honour and chew to Your glory
And unravel the pasta-ry strings of Your story
Which remind us of all Your divine intervention
Your ongoing sustenance of benign good intention...

[tris]

PS

Strange that you couldnt find the section of the site... all you had to do was click the link... but here's the poem I mentioned:
Posted on Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:54 pm
I just remembered that I wrote a sort of anti-religious poem a couple of years ago and I suppose it could fit into the Holy Prayers category... I guess someone might enjoy it anyway! I wrote it after a "conversation" (more like a very long, boring and repetitive lecture!) with a "believer" who absolutely refused to consider any other way of looking at reality other than through her God-tinted belief-tainted dark (very very dark!) glasses... I remember I instantly stopped fancying her even though she'd invited me to her place... fanatical belief is very un-sexy! (I guess the invitation was in fact to try and brainwash me, rather than to have her wicked way with me... more's the pity, she was quite sexy apart from her obsession!)
Anyway here's the poem:

The wall of faith

This absolute barrier of certainty
Protecting, excluding, enclosing.
This wall of denial, deception and guile
So ancient and dead and imposing

No room for any other opinions
No room for some freedom of thought
No doubt like a cloud is ever allowed
To obscure the bright "truth" they were taught.

And they vomit it up with such passion and rage,
Repeating the formula, the fixed turn of phrase.
With a face like a mask, they dictate, they don't ask,
Chanting on, with fanatical gaze.

And science, the demon, may sneak in, but shunned
And sneered at and beaten or hidden away,
Like a shameful disease, brought down to his knees
And made to observe and obey.

Repeating for centuries their mantras and rosaries
Never changing, never learning, ever closed to the world.
They fight the good fight, in an unyielding night
Their swords always drawn, with their banners unfurled.

Full of scorn for the sceptic, hatred for the heretic.
The atheist infidel has no right to exist.
He is nothing, an absence, a lack, a non-entity
To be crushed with fanatical fist,

Or pitied and patronised with contempt half-concealed
They may stoop to speak from their far higher level.
With their fossilized dogmas and their knowledge of God,
In their certainties they are the devil!

[Helene Potier]

Wow, i loved your poem the Wall of faith. I could tell you were pretty angry when you wrote it. but that's what happens, things like that become a catalyst for creativity. It was brilliant.
If they do have a competition on the lords prayer one, you’ve got my vote!

I need to see the monty python parody, if what you say proves to be true. I move monty python, they’re amazing.
As for the clicking the link thing.. youve discovered my secret. i have no idea where i am with computers. i dont think it even occurred to me to click the link, or i didnt notice it was there...

Dyou want to carry on the poem there instead of on my post? I’ll post my next bit on here though, for the sake of convenience.

1 Meatball 2 meatballs, Spaghetti so holy!
Linguine, cappellini, fusilli, ravioli!
Humbly we worship thee all as we eat
And throw ourselves down at thy noodly feet!

For we will obey our great noodly master
Who speaks to us while we're devouring our pasta.
Rigatoni and ramen, and saucy pennette
Orecchiette al dente and soft conchigliette...

Our love is the Meatball and the Meatball is Love,
We twist round our forks thy bounty from above!
We eat in the enlightened knowledge that you
Are watching and blessing us all as we chew.

So we munch to your honour and chew to Your glory
And unravel the pasta-ry strings of Your story
Which remind us of all Your divine intervention
Your ongoing sustenance of benign good intention

To mould us all in Your Image so Noodly
And punish all those who ridicule rudely
Our deep-held belief that You’re there in the sky
And the fact we believe that Spaghetti can fly.

p.s, i love that you used "Pasta-ry"!!

[tris]

Hmm, we seem to have reached an impasse Mademoiselle Poitier (or do you prefer Pottier?!)
I was hoping someone else would chip in with a contribution, but it looks like this is our show!
OK... let's see if the muse descends in my winey mood as I add a couple of verses (PS glad you liked "pasta-ry"):

1 Meatball 2 meatballs, Spaghetti so holy!
Linguine, cappellini, fusilli, ravioli!
Humbly we worship thee all as we eat
And throw ourselves down at thy noodly feet!

For we will obey our great noodly master
Who speaks to us while we're devouring our pasta.
Rigatoni and ramen, and saucy pennette
Orecchiette al dente and soft conchigliette...

Our love is the Meatball and the Meatball is Love,
We twist round our forks thy bounty from above!
We eat in the enlightened knowledge that you
Are watching and blessing us all as we chew.

So we munch to your honour and chew to Your glory
And unravel the pasta-ry strings of Your story
Which remind us of all Your divine intervention
Your ongoing sustenance of benign good intention

To mould us all in Your Image so Noodly
And punish all those who ridicule rudely
Our deep-held belief that You’re there in the sky
And the fact we believe that Spaghetti can fly.

For what is so strange in our dear-held belief?
Which leads us only to joy, not dissention or grief...
Yeah, those who would blabber of Christ and Jehovah
Have had their domain, it’s time for them to move over!

The new Lord is coming, like fire in the sky
In a pasta-wheel chariot, His kingdom is nigh!
We must open the door, and breathe the oxygen (accent on the Y!)
Of a fresher conviction and this brand new religion…

Away with old nonsense and away with false stumbling
Over dead prayers and mantras and the bumbling mumbling
Of the fossilised sheep-like bigots! Now it’s time to move faster
And enter the brave new noodly world of a religion based on pasta!

Note the cool way I got all the verses to slant forwards at about 45 degrees, giving the idea of a growing impetus towards the future!
Enjoy!

[MantleSeeker]

Yar I sar dis nice adaptation oiv our noodly one's 'oly prayer
Me hasn't crated this naws piece just spreading ot round



Our Pasta, who art in colander,
Draining be your noodles.
Thy noodle come, thy sauce be yum,
on top some grated parmesan.
Give us this day our garlic bread, and
forgive us our tresspasses as we
forgive those who trample our lawns.
And lead us not into vegetarianism,
but deliver us some pizza,
for thine is the meatball, the noodle,
and the sauce,
forever and ever.

RAmen

[tris]

Welcom unto thee Mr "MantleSeeker" (couldnt you make do with a normal coat? It wuld put a stop to your futile seeking for anachronistic garments!)

Compliments for the FSM's prayer.... it's a nice way to move into the forums
I particularly liked "Thy noodle come, thy sauce be yum, on top some grated parmesan."
And "And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza"!

RAmen

[Helene Potier]

hey, i loved it! i especially liked "give us this day our garlic bread"!

ok, here's my next bit to the poem! its been a long time, i'm glad we're writing it again!


Whoever in the world has such fun as we?
Not the chanters and grov’lers who just cannot see
That life has more bite and much less disaster
When we just sit back and munch on our pasta.

We never make war (we loot a little, sure)
For the life of a Pirate has such allure!
We all get along and let all the rest
Take their time to know Monster knows best.

We never shove our religion down throats
We do not bleat orders like stupid old goats
And we have no collection box there on the shelf
If I want some money, I’ll plunder myself!

[tris]

Whoever in the world has such fun as we?
Not the chanters and grov’lers who just cannot see
That life has more bite and much less disaster
When we just sit back and munch on our pasta.

We never make war (we loot a little, sure)
For the life of a Pirate has such allure!
We all get along and let all the rest
Take their time to know Monster knows best.

We never shove our religion down throats
We do not bleat orders like stupid old goats
And we have no collection box there on the shelf
If I want some money, I’ll plunder myself!

You're a right little Sappho arent you?!
It's all nice fluently flowing high-quality rhyming couplets in quatrains, but I'd suggest a little change or 2 in the last 2 verses (if you don't mind my unsolicited intervention!):

We never make real war (we loot a little, sure:
For the life of a Pirate has so much allure!) (brackets expanded!)
We get along like ships on fire and so we let all the rest ("get along like ships on fire" sounds nautical!)
Take their own time to realise that Our Monster knows best!

We never shove our religion down anyone's throats (4 main accents to the line)
And don't bleat any prayers like stupid old goats, (goats don’t really give orders, do they?… although they might seem to be praying when they bleat!)
And we have no collection box up on the shelf. (“there”? where’s that?!)
If I want any loot, I do the plund’ring myself!
Or: “If I need any booty, I go plund’ring myself!” (I think going to do one’s own plund’ring for loot or booty is more in the independent swashbuckling pirate spirit… plundering oneself sounds a wee bit masochistic to me!
Hope you agree HP??

PS I like the archaic apostrophised form of "grov’lers" and I think it fits "plund’ring" too

(PPS when is it all gonna end up as doggerel? Maybe we should stop while the going's good ! or do you have yet more inspiration!?)

[Helene Potier]

haha, no, i'm totally out of inspiration. if you want to add a last bit, thats fine, but i'm all poem-ed out (more turning nouns into verbs! I think ill call it "verb-ing".)

I'm just glad you were the first to suggest we stop. i might do my own Monster's Prayer, but i havent though much about it yet.

Keep on with all your poeming!

[tris]

haha, no, i'm totally out of inspiration. if you want to add a last bit, thats fine, but i'm all poem-ed out (more turning nouns into verbs! I think ill call it "verb-ing".)
I'm just glad you were the first to suggest we stop. i might do my own Monster's Prayer, but i havent though much about it yet.

FSM forbid that you might feel forced or obliged to be creative!... when his divine tentacle of inspiration descends, then you can take up your pen for the cause!
I think we had a pretty good run for our money really!

Keep on with all your poeming!

I will! You too!

This is the 10 verse result of our endeavours (but it still needs a title!):

1 Meatball 2 meatballs, Spaghetti so holy!
Linguine, cappellini, fusilli, ravioli!
Humbly we worship thee all as we eat
And throw ourselves down at thy noodly feet!

For we will obey our great noodly master
Who speaks to us while we're devouring our pasta.
Rigatoni and ramen, and saucy pennette
Orecchiette al dente and soft conchigliette...

Our love is the Meatball and the Meatball is Love,
We twist round our forks thy bounty from above!
We eat in the enlightened knowledge that you
Are watching and blessing us all as we chew.

So we munch to your honour and chew to Your glory
And unravel the pasta-ry strings of Your story
Which remind us of all Your divine intervention
Your ongoing sustenance of benign good intention

To mould us all in Your Image so Noodly
And punish all those who ridicule rudely
Our deep-held belief that You’re there in the sky
And the fact we believe that Spaghetti can fly.

For what is so strange in our dear-held belief?
Which leads us only to joy, not dissention or grief...
Yeah, those who would blabber of Christ and Jehovah
Have had their domain, it’s time for them to move over!

The new Lord is coming, like fire in the sky
In a pasta-wheel chariot, His kingdom is nigh!
We must open the door, and breathe the oxygen (accent on the Y!)
Of a fresher conviction and this brand new religion…

Away with old nonsense and away with false stumbling
Over dead prayers and mantras and the bumbling mumbling
Of the fossilised sheep-like bigots! Now it’s time to move faster
And enter the brave new noodly world of a religion based on pasta!

We never make real war (we loot a little, sure:
For the life of a Pirate has so much allure!)
We get along like ships on fire and so we let all the rest
Take their own time to realise that Our Monster knows best!

We never shove our religion down anyone's throats
And don't bleat any prayers like stupid old goats,
And we have no collection box up on the shelf.
If I want any loot, I do the plund’ring myself!
- If I need any booty, I go plund’ring myself!

[Helene Potier]

title, title... An Ode to the Meatballs?

A Praise of the Pasta?

We Are Not Worthy to Eat of Your Pasta (But We Will Anyway)?

how about, simply, One Meatball, Two Meatballs?

[tris]

title, title... An Ode to the Meatballs?
A Praise of the Pasta?
We Are Not Worthy to Eat of Your Pasta (But We Will Anyway)?
how about, simply, One Meatball, Two Meatballs?

Hmmm... "We Are Not Worthy to Eat of Your Pasta (But We Will Anyway)" is quite nice
but I thought "Hail to the 10 noodly appendages" or "Homage to the 10 noodly appendages of our Lord" would be nice (a verse for each noodly appendage, each one corresponding to one of the 10 commandments)
or "Thou shalt not partake of the pasta of others"... or "the pasta of the tree of life"
But maybe that's a title for another poem....