PRAYERS UNTO HIM

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Postby Solipsy on Thu Nov 10, 2005 7:44 pm

Thank you, Swatopluk, for your excellent research and translation efforts on this important historical prayer. I will present it to the Wise Council of Olive Garden for inclusion in the Prayer Book, when it is compiled. Currently, many projects are simmering throughout this thread. Your contribution here is greatly appreciated.

~s/s~
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Postby Swatopluk on Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:18 am

This reminds me that I still haven't found out whether the Anti-Past (The Meagre One, Lord of unhealthy Diets etc.) is to be considered canonical, apocryphal or heretical.

Any decision on that question yet, oh Holy Scribe?

Deciphering of reformed cuneiform is proceeding due to newfound hardtack dictionary. Egyptological section informs me that they are trying to interpret a newly found relief from Amarna depicting the worship of Carn-Aton, the life-giving meatball in the sky (old Ekhnaton was up to something as it seems).
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Postby Solipsy on Fri Nov 11, 2005 4:00 pm

A scroll, recently found, is in translation. This scroll appears to be a missive to a distant sect and may be of great historical bearing as to the explanation of the purpose and identity of the AntePast (referred to as the Antepasta on some menus and ancient source steles) (and sometimes as the Antipasta, although this appears to be a clumsy mistranslation or attempt at punning)

All texts agree there is no Hell and thus scholars so far reason that the role and power of the AntiPast would be limited. To create such a personage would strictly be a result of one of the FSM's more Peevish moments, and undoubtedly for Prankish purposes only.

If you are aware of source-text regarding the AntePast, we should certainly compare. Often in such cases, there are many on a given subject and they don't necessarily agree. Such is the nature of Our Flying Glob in Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory Heaven. He loves a Good Practical Joke, but never anything mean or harmful.
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Nature of the wicked Meat

Postby Swatopluk on Mon Nov 14, 2005 8:42 am

I am glad to here that, for in the story I am deciphering the Anti-Past (spelled in that manner) seems to be more like the devil in Job, a welcome counterpart to Him, who partially acts mischieveously on his own but is still under His Noodly Appendage and does his bidding, when it pleases Him.
A Mepasto, so to speak. There has been no talk of Hell except metaphorically or as part of usual piratese idiom.
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The Monster's Prayer

Postby Dirty Tom Bonny on Mon Nov 21, 2005 10:32 pm

Thus be it taught t' me:

Our monster, who art of pasta,
Hallowed be thy sauce.
Thy meatballs come,
Cooked well and done,
With noodles, and a nice marinara.
Give us this day our garlic bread.
And forget not the parmesan,
As we forget not to simmer the onions.
And lead us not to overcook you,
But deliver us al dente.
For thine is the pasta,
And the meatballs,
And the red sauce,
For ever and ever.
Ramen.
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Another Prayer

Postby darren996 on Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:25 pm

Our Flying Spaghetti Monster, who art in Sauce,
Hollowed be thy Noodly Appendage,
Thy mostaccioli come.
Thy cannelloni be done,
On earth as it is in Sicily.
Give us this day our daily garlic bread.
And forgive us our leftovers,
As we forgive those who don't clean their plates.
And lead us not into regurgitation,
But deliver us from starvation.
For thine is the tortellini,
and the lasagna,
and the ravioli,
for ever and ever.

RAmen.
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Postby Swatopluk on Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:45 pm

We also need some versions of the creed (The Pizzaean especially).
Keep on the good work!
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Postby Swatopluk on Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:07 pm

Thanks, Auntie, I overlooked that!
But now I am really logging out for today.
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Postby iamnotanoctopus on Fri Dec 02, 2005 8:08 pm

Hail Marinara,
Full of Spice,
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is filled with thee.
Tasty art thou amongst sauces,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy jar, tomatoes
(although fools believe they are vegetables).
Holy Marinara,
Chief Amongst Toppings,
Save a plate for us now,
and at about 6 o'clock when dinner is served, if you would be so kind.
RAmen.
"I will not rest until every year families gather to spend December 25th together at Osama's homo-abortion-pot-and-commie-jizzporium."

-Jon Stewart
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Postby Swatopluk on Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:04 am

What would a Pastafarian Rosary be called?
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Postby Swatopluk on Sat Dec 03, 2005 9:55 am

Rosary is not just the material thing but also that what is counted, the mindless (intentional) repetition of the Hail Mary with some other stuff thrown in at certain points.
Ave, Pasta condimento plena, saucus tecum.
(I know that's not correct Latin)
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Postby Swatopluk on Sat Dec 03, 2005 10:22 am

Replace Spanish with German and I could do so too (without a Catholic school), it's not so long (apart from the repetitions of course).
As I said, pretty mindless (useful both for church membership and meditation).
Now for the Stabat Mater (horrible text)
Volabat Monstrum Spaghettosum...
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Postby iamnotanoctopus on Sat Dec 03, 2005 4:02 pm

Hmm... Rosemary? Rosemary is pretty good in pasta sauce...

Or Rigatoni. That's about all I can come up with.
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Postby Swatopluk on Sun Dec 04, 2005 5:15 am

Rosemary is also a song sung by Vera Lynn.
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Postby iamnotanoctopus on Sun Dec 04, 2005 5:43 pm

There's also a Lenny Kravitz song and a Gomez song by the same name. Then there's the Bangles's song, Stealing Rosemary. Hmm...
"I will not rest until every year families gather to spend December 25th together at Osama's homo-abortion-pot-and-commie-jizzporium."

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