Official Pastafarian Saints

Discuss ways to spread the Word and bring His Noodly Appendage to everybody.

Moderator: All Things Mods

Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Platypus Enthusiast on Mon Dec 14, 2009 2:59 am

Various threads have been made over the years bringing up the topic of Pastafarian saints. So far the Church officials have not actually canonized any official saints. Since we lack any real authority figures, and since I have a congregation of 100 Pastafarians and am the head of the Loose Canon Project (not to sound cocky), I feel I am well within my bounds to canonize official saints. My criteria for canonization is as follows.

A saint:
1) Must not be a fictional character.
2) Must have done important work for the Church.
3) Must be/have been funny.

Using those criteria, I am canonizing two saints.

St John the Blasphemist
1) He was real.
2) He served as a link between the Pastafarian and Discordian communities.
3) Just look at anything he posted in the forum.

Feast Day: October 1st
Emblem: Head of lettuce on a platter
Patron Saint of dear friends who shall be greatly missed (Ubi Dubium's suggestion)


Saint Tristan the Martyr
1) Definitely real.
2) He lost points on a school paper on Pastafarianism as the teacher thought he was making it up. Ironically, the paper was on how he felt persecuted for his Pastafarian beliefs.
3) See #2

Feast Day: December 17th
Emblems: Ruler, Detention Slips
Patron Saint of kids who think for themselves
Check out an official Pastafarian holy book, the Loose Canon: http://loose-canon.fsm-consortium.com/the-loose-canon/

"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
User avatar
Platypus Enthusiast
Tortellini Third Mate
 
Posts: 350
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:21 am
Location: New Jersey: The Spaghetti State

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby DavidH on Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:50 am

Surely our Head Saint should be St Bobby.
Image
User avatar
DavidH
Tagliatelle Trainee Monk
 
Posts: 4377
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:23 pm
Location: Herefordshire, Western England

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Ubi Dubium on Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:53 am

No, he's our Great Prophet (pesto be upon him). That's a unique title, so he doesn't need to be a Saint.
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out

"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
User avatar
Ubi Dubium
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2563
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:10 pm
Location: This is my brain, and I live in it.

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby DavidH on Mon Dec 14, 2009 8:57 am

Ubi Dubium wrote:No, he's our Great Prophet (pesto be upon him). That's a unique title, so he doesn't need to be a Saint.

OK, sorry. O Great prophet, I grovel for attempting to demote thee. :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:
Image
User avatar
DavidH
Tagliatelle Trainee Monk
 
Posts: 4377
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:23 pm
Location: Herefordshire, Western England

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Platypus Enthusiast on Thu Dec 17, 2009 6:05 pm

Ubi Dubium wrote:No, he's our Great Prophet (pesto be upon him). That's a unique title, so he doesn't need to be a Saint.


Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was also thinkin about canonizing Cap, but I wasn't sure if Head Administrator trumps Saint
Check out an official Pastafarian holy book, the Loose Canon: http://loose-canon.fsm-consortium.com/the-loose-canon/

"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
User avatar
Platypus Enthusiast
Tortellini Third Mate
 
Posts: 350
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:21 am
Location: New Jersey: The Spaghetti State

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Ubi Dubium on Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:39 pm

I also suggest, since we're Pirates and all, that we "cannonize" them, instead of just "canonize" them.
Open your mind, but not so far your brain falls out

"Hurry up, before we all come to our senses!" - King Julien
User avatar
Ubi Dubium
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2563
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:10 pm
Location: This is my brain, and I live in it.

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Ubi Dubius on Thu Dec 17, 2009 10:12 pm

If we decided to cannonize the administrator, would we use a cap-gun?
Davros, Attorney and Pieces of Law
Keeping up appearances is a very important activity in religion; in fact, maintaining tattered illusions is its main activity. - Richard Wade, on Friendlyatheist.com
We make an idol of our fear and call it God. -Ingmar Bergman, The Seventh Seal
User avatar
Ubi Dubius
Set bail, me hearties!
 
Posts: 5253
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 4:50 pm
Location: Varrrrrrgggggghhhhhhinia

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Thu Dec 17, 2009 10:33 pm

I think we'd tie her to a chair, load two bullets into a revolver (in adjacent cambers), spin, shoot *CLICK*, and ask her (before we pull the trigger a second time) whether she wants us to spin the chamber again or not...
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

By reading this post, you agree that you are solely responsible for your reaction to it.
The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
User avatar
Rev. Rowan Redbeard
Prophet of Pastafarianism
 
Posts: 18334
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 10:49 am
Location: Southern Oregon

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Ham Nox on Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:04 pm

I'd suggest Cap'n Cronan as the patron saint of bad luck, but luckily for all of us he isn't real.
...Or is he?
Bayes Theorum:
............................P(X|A) * P(A)
P(A|X) = -----------------------------------
...............P(X|A) * P(A) + P(X|~A) * P(~A)

If I have learnt anything, it is that life forms no logical patterns. It is haphazard and full of beauties which I try to catch as they fly by, for who knows whether any of them will ever return?
Margot Fonteyn

~*L'Nox ti notve*~
User avatar
Ham Nox
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2600
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:44 pm
Location: Utah

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Edd on Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:08 pm

Rev. Rowan Redbeard wrote:I think we'd tie her to a chair, load two bullets into a revolver (in adjacent cambers), spin, shoot *CLICK*, and ask her (before we pull the trigger a second time) whether she wants us to spin the chamber again or not...


Looking for martyr status, RRR?
"Oook." - The Librarian

Visit the new and improved Agnoistrology.com!
User avatar
Edd
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2505
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:02 pm
Location: Texas

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:06 am

Thread Necromancy!

Just noticed that Auntie Dee Dee isn't on this list, thought she should be mentioned. She did a lot of work here, and definitely had a sense of humor (I'd say to check posts, but they're tough to find). Not sure what she should be patron saint of though. Troll-smacking? Help me out here, DaveL.

I agree with St Tristan's title, but I'm not sure about St John. First of all, won't all dear friends be missed? Secondly, I'm sure he has more defining qualities than "isn't here anymore."

Being the first we lost, I can see where it comes from, and could certainly still be something he's a patron of (don't most saints double or triple up on patronage?), but perhaps not the main thing.
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:


Any statistical increase in the usage of the :idiot: emoticon since becoming Admin should not be considered significant, meaningful, or otherwise cause for worry.
User avatar
Qwertyuiopasd
Admirable Admiral Qwerty
 
Posts: 14338
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:38 pm
Location: Northern Virginia

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Edd on Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:39 am

I think it would be nice to keep St. John as an all-around, all-purpose, fill-in-the-blank saint, reminiscent of his signatures. (IMO SJtB, saint of just what you needed)
"Oook." - The Librarian

Visit the new and improved Agnoistrology.com!
User avatar
Edd
Mystic of Meatball
 
Posts: 2505
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:02 pm
Location: Texas

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Qwertyuiopasd on Wed Jan 20, 2010 3:38 pm

Yes! So, unofficially he'll be the Patron Saint of fill-in-the-blank, but officially we'll just put in different things, a la his signatures.

(yes, it's intentionally backwards)
daftbeaker wrote:But if I stop bugging you I'll have to go back to arguing with Qwerty about whether beauty is truth and precisely what we both mean by 'purple' :moon:


Any statistical increase in the usage of the :idiot: emoticon since becoming Admin should not be considered significant, meaningful, or otherwise cause for worry.
User avatar
Qwertyuiopasd
Admirable Admiral Qwerty
 
Posts: 14338
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:38 pm
Location: Northern Virginia

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Platypus Enthusiast on Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:08 am

Edd wrote:I think it would be nice to keep St. John as an all-around, all-purpose, fill-in-the-blank saint, reminiscent of his signatures. (IMO SJtB, saint of just what you needed)


That's actually pretty genius.
Check out an official Pastafarian holy book, the Loose Canon: http://loose-canon.fsm-consortium.com/the-loose-canon/

"With Him, All Things are Pasta-Bowl."
-ProvHerbs 3:35
User avatar
Platypus Enthusiast
Tortellini Third Mate
 
Posts: 350
Joined: Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:21 am
Location: New Jersey: The Spaghetti State

Re: Official Pastafarian Saints

Postby Tigger_the_Wing on Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:10 am

Platypus Enthusiast wrote:
Edd wrote:I think it would be nice to keep St. John as an all-around, all-purpose, fill-in-the-blank saint, reminiscent of his signatures. (IMO SJtB, saint of just what you needed)


That's actually pretty genius.


I agree. I'm sad that I joined too late to exchange communication with the guy.
User avatar
Tigger_the_Wing
She Who Gets It
 
Posts: 4376
Joined: Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:44 pm
Location: Pyrate of the Canberrean

Next

Return to The Cause

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron