Venganzine Pyrate Cookbook

[Calico Jack]

No eat Jack. Feed jack

Pretty bird

See ya later alligator!

[Auntie Blackbeard]

Why Calico Jack Rackam !
Ye charmer ye !
So ye be recardinated as a porrit oi seas !
An' still a priddy boy !
Oi wuz wonnerin' wot become of ye ,
me spechul dearie ye !
Oi reckon it be three yeers sinces oi saw ye last ?

Oi wuz jest abowt ta wroite out a resipee fer tunge .
Wharr ye be stayin' Calico ?
Me Nest always be open fer ye deery .
Ye kin fether it uppe as ye plez .

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Hokay, hi gunna tell yer how ter mayk lollypop stoo

yer git sum lollypops
yer git sum wotter

yer puts the lollypops anner wotter inner big pot an yer boils it
if yer wanner be all posh and la-de-da yer kin tayk the lollypop sticks out after
it dunt taste very nyce, tho...

Fank ye, ye welkum.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Hi got a recipe fer ckickn inner baskit.

Yer get a chickn
Yer get a baskit

Yer puts er chickn inner baskit. Yer puts er baskit inner fire. Fank ye, ye welkum.

[pieces o'nine]

How oi longs fer ye goode olde dayes wen Chow Mein posted sum desint ressipeas.

[black bart]

How oi longs fer ye goode olde dayes wen Chow Mein posted sum desint ressipeas.

Arr that be loik wishin Sweeney Todd would cut yer hair instead of Count Dracula!

[Roland Deschain]

Shark Curry

PERSONNEL:
1 Galley Chef; plus
8 Deckhands
4 Spare Deckhands on standby

INGREDIENTS:
3 Large Sharks (C. carcharias)
1 Smoked Kraken
3000 Green peppers
1-4kgs of Curry Powder (Dependin' on how hot yer loike it. Oi personally loike the 'Mother-in-Law's tongue brand)
1/2 tonne rice
1 Tree of Bay Leaves

PREPARATION:
1. Beat Sharks over the 'eads wiv a blunderbuss. If ye hasn't got a blunderbuss, yer pegleg will do.
2. Collect tears in 44 gallon drums and use them fer salad dressin'.
3. Galley chef tells deckhands to place Sharks into an 'eated swimming pool. Turn on the steam. Make sure that the Sharks are quite dead - otherwise spare deckhands might be required. Arrrrrggggg.
4. Boil fer 10 days. After 7 days, skin can be pulled off - which is used fer 'andbags etc. Noice keepsake for the invoited guests. During the 10th day the teeth will fall out and are used for jewellery and amulets.
5. Cut off tail and use fer Shark-tail soup at a later stage - keep in deep freeze once cooled off.
6. Surviving deckhands must then cut Sharks into bite size cubes.
7. Add remainin' ingredients an' allow to simmer fer a further 2 days. Taste to see if it has enough spices etc. Oi sometimes like to add apricot jam to give it extra juiciness and flavour - about 5 kgs or to taste should do.
8. Curry should be ready when the albatross start circlin' above.

Serves approximately 1250 people. Better be lettin' yer deckhands try it out first.

[black bart]

1 Galley Chef

I recommends Ham Nox matey.

Luvverlee recipe that...can I ave some papodoms wiv me order?

[Ham Nox]

Oh, you wouldn't want me to be the Chef matey.. I'd be liable to poison yer (otherwise quite scrumptious) food, bein' an ex-ninja an' all.

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

Hokay, I gunna tell yez how ter mayk Rice Puddy.

Yer gets a big pot
Yer gets sum rice
Yer gets a puddy
Yer puts thee rice an thee puddy inner pot an smoosh em up

Puddys is hard ter catch, they lykes mouses an sech, an they hates doggys
If ye carnt get a puddy, ye kin use a parrit insted

Fank ye, ye welkum

[black bart]

ere Nef Yoo...someone wants ta talk ta ye:

[TwistedSister]

I want to talk to him too!!!

[pieces o'nine]

Bring back Chow Mein!!!

[Roland Deschain]

For TS:-

Nef Yoo Surprise

INGREDIENTS:
1 Cabin boy (preferably wearin' a jyint hat)
4 kg o' fresh chillis
100 Pints o' milk
4 square metres o' filo pastry
3 kg o' pungent cheese

PREPERAYSHUN:
1. Put thee cabin boy in an oven at thee temprercher o' 230°C.
2. Remove when thee cabin boy's skin be a golden brown.
3. Put thee milk on ter a low 'eat an' allow ter simmer.
4. When thee milk be simmerin', put in thee cheese until it be melted.
5. When thee cheese be melted, add thee fresh chillis.
6. Once thee chillis be in the sauce, dice thee cabin boy inter cabin boy fist-sized pieces.
7. After about 20 minutes, you will be needin' ter add the diced cabin boy ter the mix.
8. Cover an' allow ter stew fer 1 hour.
9. Line a large pastry dish wi' thee filo pastry.
10. When thee fillin' be done, put it in thee pastry dish an' use thee pastry ter cover the fillin'.
11. Put in thee oven fer 90 minutes at 200°C.
12. Remove an' serve wiv grog.

[TwistedSister]

Now ye be tryin to poisen me???????????????
Oi thouts ye were me friend.