'teh Owtsidr' by HP Lolcat

[pnutcat]

'Teh Owtsidr' by HP Lolcat
Fri, Oct 1 2010 08:09am BST 1
HP Lolcat
HP Lolcat
4 Posts


Boohoo him can has memorage ov kiddiness making scary :( Awlso is luks bakcwards awl lonli smelli rooms wiv nasti kurtins an ole buks, an twisti trees wiv biggage. Dis wot skie-daddys mek 4 me - me dazy an unpointy an broked. But can has strangly contents, wiv desprit clingage ov remembring cos brane nearly mite go 2 uvva.
Pop out not knowhere, but is yucki ole karsle has darky corry doors an has roofs wiv cobbage webs. Awl crumbly an drippi an stinky lyk lotsa deds. Awl darky an no shiny in skie cos trees 2 big. Speshly 1 towa wot even bigga but broked so not clime it.
Me long lives hear, but no can has clox. Bingings luks after but me no can has memorage xsept 4 icky-snarlys. Dem must has be WTFBBQ moldyold cos has memorage ov rinkli. Not scary ov skellybones downstares, finkin is normal lyk in buks. Can has lurn stufs from buks. Duzznt has teachas an duzznt hears torkin, duzznt duz torkin. Fort i iz yung coz no mutch memorage.
Owtside cros stinky mote an unda trees, can has dreamys from buks an finks ov hapi crouds uvva side ov trees. Me try 4 scape, but mek 2 much scarys.
Awl dark time dreamys an waitage, den feddup so clime big towa.
Garstly an teribl wiv bats an duzzn hav stares, mek long nasty clime den get ruf. Awl darky, push slymy trapdor wiv hed. Rum can has coffinz, fynd dor an go out an be hapi coz ov Mun shiny in skie.
But bigbig scary coz not hiup - iz big shok coz not noing karsle woz undagrownd!
Gon long walkys til cum 2 bigbig howse, sorta rememba but not reely. Luk in shiny windos, lotsa hapi peepulz! Yay parti!
Me go in but peepulz awl screemy an run away. WTFBBQbaconflavr? Y iz dem scary ov me? Den me seez mirra - i iz groosum! Do moanys. Teh end.

[pnutcat]

More from HP Lolcat:

'The Statement of Randolph Carter' by HPG Wodehouse

"One hesitates to employ the idiom of the hyperbolic," came the voice of the presently subterranean gentleman's gentleman, "but I very much regret to inform you that I am in the unfortunate position of encountering what can only be described as 'the Unnameable', sir."
We Woosters are made of the sternest, of course, but at the sound of a slight quaver in the measured tones of the hitherto ever-imperturbable Jeeves, this Wooster was sorely tempted to biff off with all despatch. I stiffened the upper lip, braced the spine, and spoke into the field telephone.
"Hang on, old egg. I'm coming down. Bertram to the rescue, what?"
"Absolutely not, sir, if you'll forgive the use of the imperative. It would appear to be rather too late, in any case. Save yourself, sir; one simply could not contemplate the premature termination of the Wooster posterity."
Dash it all, but the man was right, as always.

[black bart]

Aunt Agatha is a fearsome woman at the best of times, but she was not happy when Jeeves and I accidentally roasted her pussy!

[Nef Yoo BlackBeard]

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
uh finka i sawd a puddee tat !
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr