Ongoing Pun Competition

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pieces o'nine
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby pieces o'nine » Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:25 pm

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby black bart » Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:01 am

pieces o'nine wrote:A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.


You've got too much class for this thread PON. (actually that's quite clever isn't it?)
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pieces o'nine
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby pieces o'nine » Sat Feb 05, 2011 12:23 am

Geico is expanding their popular ad campaign; they plan to add a stand-up chameleon.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Uther » Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:32 pm

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Tigger_the_Wing » Sat May 14, 2011 2:47 am

Fans of 'The Beatles' are having a hard day's night finding their records; all the music shops are in the CD part of Liverpool.

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Roy Hunter » Thu Nov 14, 2013 9:44 am

I was trying to decide whether to get a frontal lobotomy or not, but to be honest it's a no-brainer.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
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pieces o'nine
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby pieces o'nine » Sat Nov 16, 2013 4:53 pm

Your very last breath will be a fatal blow.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby ChowMein » Sun Nov 17, 2013 3:30 am

I tried my hand at forgery , but I couldn't fake it.

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Roy Hunter » Sun Nov 17, 2013 8:06 am

Two Saudi criminals playing poker. One threw in his hand, and the other laughed his head off.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.

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pieces o'nine
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby pieces o'nine » Sun Nov 17, 2013 4:35 pm

A great caricaturist can always draw a crowd.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby DavidH » Mon Nov 18, 2013 6:17 am

Roy wrote:Two Saudi criminals playing poker. One threw in his hand, and the other laughed his head off.


Like the whore in the leper colony. She gave up because business was dropping off.
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby Roy Hunter » Mon Nov 18, 2013 7:30 am

My accountant was struggling to complete my tax return because he was constipated - eventually he just worked it out with a pencil.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.

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pieces o'nine
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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby pieces o'nine » Mon Nov 18, 2013 9:44 pm

Two lobbyists walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
I will honor Monkey in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles "Darwin" Dickens

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby PKMKII » Fri Nov 29, 2013 4:28 pm

Why is a Mexican midget called a paragraph?

Because he's too short to be an essay.
"How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.'" - Carl Sagan

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincaré

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Re: Ongoing Pun Competition

Postby PKMKII » Fri Dec 06, 2013 2:00 pm

Did you hear about the Spanish train killer?

He had locomotives.
"How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.'" - Carl Sagan

"To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally convenient solutions; both dispense with the necessity of reflection." - Henri Poincaré


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