Roland Deschain wrote:Oi 'ad to travel with thee landlubbers thee other day, and oi 'ad an hexperience which will scarify yoo into senility! Oi 'ad to go inland - it was a necessary mission to pillage for grog - and oi used one o' them bus contraptions. Oi did see all sorts o' scary folk. One o' them must 'ave been a witch, as 'e 'ad sum koind o' devoice which proiduced these 'orrible sounds loike an 'erd of olyphaunts bein' drowned in a vat of aceed. It assaulted me ears to such a degree, that oi 'ad to say to the scurvy landlubber that 'is noise was upsettin' a number of people, includin' me. 'E threatend me with voilence! Can yoo believe that? Oi 'adn't put on me pirate regalia, as oi was bein' incognitow, but as soon as oi got out me cutlass, 'e soon backed down an' apologoised, but for a whoile it were very scary.
Aaargh, a terrifyin tale matey, I can himagine wot ye wuz goin thru...even worse than thee Sea Shanties wot me First Mate sings on a Friday Night after four bottles o rum.
However them gizmos do ave their uses at sea and ere be a salutaree tale wot hinvovlves thhe hinvenshun wot ye be refferin to in your ditty:
Arrrrr...it be a stormy noight outside The Benbow, the Thai Food aint turned up an the stripper caught a cold so...pull up a chair me hearties an listen to me tale...it'll cost ye a Capn's Delight each o course...The Treasure of The Sirens
Many's the buccaneer what's come to grief whilst searchin for the Treasure of the Sirens. Legend has it, as ye steer yer ship near the island, a bunch o ghostly wenches begin to sing, and so lovely is their song that no man can resist them. Ship after ship has been lured onto the terrible rocks with the loss of all hands thereon.
A chance hencounter, at Madame Fifi's, ended with me procurin the secret location of the Treasure and I set off on the long voyage forthwith. As we approached the cursed Isles the wind seemed to pick up and the Sirens began their song, quietly at first but rising to an eerie crescendo. I ordered the Bosun to switch off his Kate Bush record but no, there it was, the terrible but beautiful singing was all around us luring us to our certain deaths!
Quick as flash I put my plan into action. Every man and boy aboard that ship strapped on an Ipod which blasted out the songs of 'GUNS n FISH HEADS' at full volume. The terrible deafening rock music drowned out the Sirens' song and we sailed on past safely to glory. We reached the secret Treasure Cove and retrieved the booty.
Sadly, the booty only just about covered the cost of 150 Ipod Nanos, and the crew were so deaf that we crashed into an iceberg full of penguins on the way home and sank!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.