I can top that....

[Pirate Johnson]

What?!?
How is that not relative to a thread where contributors argh supposed to convey a jestful superiority over the other posted feats or dominance over a common threat towards all of Spaghedeity's faithful followers (bears/ninja/ipu)?
↑↓

[Pirate Johnson]

2-22-09
That was the last post B4 I began it's revival. A few others backed me with their support as well.

[Roy Hunter]

Well, somebody's being all passive-aggressive...

[Pirate Johnson]

All's good on my end. Didn't realize I sounded so bipolar there.

[Pirate Johnson]

Noodle powered cats! OOFSM (Oh Our Flying Spaghetti Monster)
top that

[Roland Deschain]

I woke up this morning to the sounds of a helicopter hovering around. Going outside to look, I saw a man with a gun running away. Deciding that he was being looked for, I ran after him in only a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, with nothing on my feet. Catching up with him, he turned and fired on me. Seeing what he was doing, I used my l33t skills in several martial arts to dodge his shot, which isn't easy when it's a sawn-off shotgun someone's firing. After he'd emptied both barrels, I ran towards him whilst making the mating call of a Woolly Mammoth, a sound that hasn't been heard on this planet for many thousands of years. This disoriented him enough for me to gain a hold on him. It was then that I realised he was trained as an elite ninja by a shadowy governmental organisation. The fight was epic, something on the scale of the battle of the Somme, but with just two people. After an hour of intense hand-to-hand combat, I finally managed to subdue him until the authorities arrived to take him away for re-training. I couldn't be given an award or officially thanked for it due to the sensitive nature of the issue, but I was pleased with a job well done.

(Ok, so the first sentence is real...)

[Pirate Johnson]

I rolled a D20... with my car.. Landed on 20, so I slayed the Chromatic Dragon, thus cureing intestinel disease affect. (Crohns)

[Rev.Vermicelli]

Hmmph, my grandma can top that blindfolded.
---

After I had sex with a 25 playmates.................this weekend, (without condom of course)
I devised a contraception with just one long strand of noodle,
I made a 25 noose'd lasso,
And in one swing, it ended up in all of their vags.

I said Praise FSM and yank'd on my end, pulling out all my stuff from inside of them.
That caused the 15th orgasm for each of these fine women.

Yeah, I know... I've done a lot better before..But i'm on a vacation right now and I didn't want take home too much of work.

[DavidH]

Notty, ban

[Pirate Johnson]

I have a 94% accurate use of English. I can also comprehend and utalize proper sentence structure.

[gronank]

I can type with colours that has good contrast against the background

[Roy Hunter]

I can type with verbs that agree with the singularity or plurality of the nouns in my sentence.

(But then English is my first language...)

[Pirate Johnson]

I will have deamed the necessity of signify the tense of any english word, as opsolete tomorrow.
(This is what hope 4 wen buy not made Yhu Essuh Ayy tings)

[black bart]

will have, would have, might have, could have....

...Kylie Minogue?

[Pirate Johnson]

I'll gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today.

Trouser snake