Auntie, me dear, you be right. They be, above all, meat. There is nothing in canon to say that they have to be beef, regardless of what historical documents may come to light, and as David so clearly mentions, they are metaphysical. Also, and this is an important distinction, does your friend have friends who eat beef? If so, does she not talk to them because of this? It's the same, essentially. Look at the beer volcano. That can provide your beverage of choice, so if this is true of the volcano, then the same (meatiness) must be true of the meatballs. If you want fish, you got fish. If you want sparrow, you got sparrow. If you don't want the beef ones, then just don't eat them. Simple. Pastafarianism is officially 100% dogma free, and can be moulded (before cooking) into something that suits.
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!
"Since Alexander Pearce escaped, over 250 people have disappeared in the Tasmanian wilderness. No remains have ever been found." - Dying Breed