Pyrate Olympicks

[DaveL]

Meanwhile the Antipodean Pirates appear to be floundering in the medal tally. Their attempts at swimming (in the shark pool) appear to be going badly, due to the overuse of pirate social media device known as 'Bicker'. One Antipodean pirate Bickered victory well before the event and was so slow during his event and he was eaten by a Great White...

[Ravi Oli]

...'ang on a mo Dave. Arfta yeers of drowt an' practisin there swimmin in dry riva beds, ower lads 'as onlee got ewes to water thee larst yeer or to so ezy on em mate... an' tis tradition thee yung onlee goes ova ta thee Olde Dart ta get on thee piss any'ow.
But wat Oi wants to no is wear did thee Fridey Nite Footy go? Twas onlee Olimpic bludy Pubbe crawlin on, tho thee AFL wert on thee regionals.

[Griffin]

Aaaaaaaaargh! The Brits 'as wun Gold fer the Jumpin' over the Peg Legs. But hoo will win the Match the Peg Leg to the Pyrat Event?

[black bart]

Aaaaaaaaargh! The Brits 'as wun Gold fer the Jumpin' over the Peg Legs. But hoo will win the Match the Peg Leg to the Pyrat Event?

I would like ta try...but I just "wood" not know.

[The Black Spot]

I would like ta try...but I just "wood" not know.

Ye doesn't fool me. That be a part o' a darrrrghlek, Doctor Whook's deadliest enemy.

[pieces o'nine]

The Mad Moggies Revenge arrrgh sweepin thee hevents at Portsmouth Harbo[u]r Swim Pavilyun an Marina. Thee first mate, Esther "Fins" Merman is dommynatin thee competishun fer Gold in Freestyle Plank Walkin!



'Ere she be showin' 'er gold-medal-winning forrrghm 'avin takin thee Golde in Sink-Cronyzed Keelhaulin earlier in thee daye.

[DaveL]

Meanwhile back on the athletics track a formal complaint was lodged wiv the officials after a runner with 2 normal legs was spotted running in the Mens 100m pegleg sprint.

"He just thought he could just enter the race claimin' us pirates were discriminatin' against him" complained Piratica Coach Stodgy McBain.

The able bodied runner won gold by a nautical mile.

Next thing there will be wimmen pirates from Saudi Arabia enterin'.

What's the world cummin to?

[pieces o'nine]

It's a magnifissent sight 'ere in Portsmouth Harbour as thee shippes ov many nashuns leaves thee Pyralimpics t'return t'thee open seize...

We're still waitin on thee final medal tally, but so far hit looks loike thee UK be in thee leade, wot wif pyrathletes from bofe emmisfears and several continents...

Thee Murkans 'ave bin well represented by thee crewe of thee Mad Moggies Revenge, wif Golds in Freestyle Plank Walkin, Tabbe Hexscapin, an Sinkronoized Pegleg Ballet. They were hurt by thee absence of Former Cabbin Bouy Errol Flynn this year an only took Bronze in Swashbucklin...

We jest reseived moor stats...

[Ravi Oli]

Yarrrggghhhh pieces... butt 'ow did ye ferget ower oan lil' Macca frum thee Adm'ril Benbow who wert very 'appy ta take thee BarWenches n' beam Silver....

[black bart]

Mayor Borat beams wiv delight as he addresses thee public at thee post Pyrate Olympicks party. It's definitely been thee most successful Olympicks hever an thee legacy will benefit thee town for days. Hundreds of new jobs have been created in the wake of these Olympicks, mostly in thee building trade: