Whinging Pensioner Pirate Rant

[Griffin]

I remembers when gold medals were ownlee fer Pirates an' wer allus berried.

[black bart]

I remembers hexactlee where I buried me treasure...oh...hang on a mo...was it Trinidad and Tobago? No...was it Twickenham? No...er...

[The Black Spot]

I remembers when we won the quiz at the Admiral Benbow. That were last night, weren't it? I think. Or was it last Tuesday fortnight? Or maybe a couple o' years ago. I can't remember if we've ever won it.

[la la]

Ahhhh, the Admiral Benbow! Oi remembers when I got my verrry first job there, as a dancer it were, a table-dancer. Only classy entertainment though! O' course, Oi were a comely lass back then, and Oi seems to recall that six-inch-heels were a good sight easier te dance in back then.

[black bart]

Wot be these strange vouchers wot I've got in me pocket...where did I get them? Why is my head hurtin...why is thee bottle always emptee?

[Griffin]

Aaargh! I remember when men won the Women's Boxing.

[black bart]

Aaargh! I remember when men won the Women's Boxing.

Arrr ye be confusin thee women's boxin wiv Bill Sykes in Oliver Twist.

I remembers when it was alroight ta pick a pocket or two...gor blimey!

[The Black Spot]

Pockets? I remembers pockets. Used t' put things in 'em. Nowadays me hook tears 'em up summit chronic.

[black bart]

I remembers when I was still in Hinglund an it were freezing...not 42 degrees loik it be ere!

[DavidH]

Ar, I remembers when I were in Turkey. I used to knock three tymes and ask for Abdul.

[black bart]

I remembers when I could drink a bottle o Raki, eat fifteen hot chilli kekabs an not arf ta go to ospital.

[Griffin]

I remembers when Frank Gallagher never did a days work.

[black bart]

He be ard at work in thee Burger Outlet but he can ave a job in thee Fish Head Stoo factory any day. He reminds me orf thee Black Spot when he was young.

Oh an I remembers when there was 'REAL' fish heads in thee Fish Head Stoo.

[DaveL]

YArrr...

He appears to be missin' his matches matey. He might take a while to smoke that cigarette methinks...

[black bart]

I remembers when smokin was more bad for your elth than government health warnins.