PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

[black bart]

Be it just a coinkedense that thee Turkish words for 'goodbye' be Goolley Goolley (Gule Gule)?

Maaaaaate! Oi 'ope tharts nawt ta do with ye callin yer 'nads be thart name! Did ye misstaykenly soign up as younick to thee Sultan's 'arem?

As far as I knows matey...they be still in thee right place an if ye needs a witness ye can call on thee Turkish maid wot came into me room hunhexpected loik.

[DavidH]

Was it this one?

[black bart]

^

er...I think it was her daughter Fatima.

[black bart]

Me gyant tankard wot was sent accross thee oshun deep by Mad Willyum Bonny!

Ye can get an whole bottle o Captain's deleight in it!

[DavidH]

You can bath the kids in it.

What an excellent present.

[Griffin]

H'as I sed on FB, yoo got a big wun there BB!

[black bart]

Well ye knows wot they says about Pyrates...ye can tell by thee size o their hats an their tankards...

It be a direkt corrolashun to thee size o their bar tab!

[pieces o'nine]

π-Rit 3.14, M. Septembarrrgh



A spokespirate from Bart Industries unveiled the new π-Rit 3.14PØ robot at a press conference hastily called at the Admiral Benbow today. The newest model is fluent in over six million forms of communication and is programmed in 47 schools of self defense. Marketed as the closest one can get to the Stripper Factory this side of the Beer Volcano, M. Septembarrrgh appeals to a wide range of ship's captains. The basic model is shipped as shown, but a wide range of options, vocal patterns, and finishes are available.

Make and Model: π-Rit 3.14PØ

Purpose: Pyrate-Cyborg Relations . . . . . . . . .

Likes: Figuring the odds of any situation, luxuriating in oil baths, fretfully keeping the crew in line.

Dislikes: Impersonating a deity, having his/her parts showing, digging treasure on sandy planets, being in the vicinity of Fish Head Stoo.

Where will you be in 5 years time?: Still serving princesses, getting into danger, and plotting the best course to escape the Royal Navy.



Direct all inquiries for full prospectus, costs, and specs to Bart Industries in confidence.

[Griffin]

Direct all inquiries for full prospectus, costs, and specs to Bart Industries in confidence.

Wot 'appens if I don't do it confidence?

[black bart]

Direct all inquiries for full prospectus, costs, and specs to Bart Industries in confidence.

Wot 'appens if I don't do it confidence?

Don't yew worry matey...just send us thee cash an we'll do thee rest. Postage an packagin free, hextended warranty havailhable on reqwest.

Arrrgh aint she a bewtee?

[Roland Deschain]

Cap'n Bart, the possibility of the delivery boat successfully navigating the reef around my mysterious island is approximately 3,720 to 1.

[DaveL]

YArrr...

Bart got C3PO drunk on Castrol at The Benbow and stole his blue prints. Next thing ye know he'll be stealin' all all the South Africans to play cricket for Piractica.

[Griffin]

Cap'n Bart, the possibility of the delivery boat successfully navigating the reef around my mysterious island is approximately 3,720 to 1.

That be why BB sez "hextended warranty havailhable on reqwest" - tis the h'extra yeers it teks to arrive.

[Roland Deschain]

Cap'n Bart, the possibility of the delivery boat successfully navigating the reef around my mysterious island is approximately 3,720 to 1.

That be why BB sez "hextended warranty havailhable on reqwest" - tis the h'extra yeers it teks to arrive.

Yaaaaarrrrr, that be true, me lovely cap'n Griffin. Even wiv thee hincredibly detailed map oi gave them, they still arroived 10 years late.

[Ravi Oli]

Yer idjit Rowland... ye payd hextra fer bart's premium "par avian" derlivery wot litterally means "derlivery by seagull". I downt no 'bout ye butt hin moi hopinyen thee seagull carryin yer pakedge woodent so much fly as plummet. Even if 'e sent enuff ter lift it 'ave ye seen them flockin flyin rodents wen thar be a crust or chip ta be fort over? It be a wunda ye got it at awl.