PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart on Mon Sep 10, 2012 5:45 am

We interrupt this broadcast for a message from Bart Industries CEO.

Image

Hi, I'm Black Bart, you may remember me from such nautikal hadventures as:

"The case of thee shrunken head" and "Moby Dick up thee Khyber".

Here at Bart hindustries we ave a proud rekord orf supplyin qualitee goods to thee sea farin publik. We put thee P in Piracy and thee K in Keelhaulin (and not ta menshun the Fish Heads in thee Fish Head Stoo). Our himpressive list of klients hinclude hamongst uvvers: Thee late Lady Agnetha Redgrave, Thee late Sir Montague Grommett and thee late Viscount Sir Peter Scott...and there were even some kidnappins wot went right.

I was therefore more than a little perturoboted when the rumour orf disatisfakshun amongst our customers reached my ears. May I therefore hextend my heart felt condolences to those who may ave become out orf pocket as a result orf any failed seegull deliveries and I can offer ye a free bucket orf Fish Head Stoo as rekompense. Please note that seegull deliveries are hereby suspendered an from this day hense we shalle be usin albatrosses instead.

Your most trustworthy servant,

Bartholemyoo
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby DaveL on Tue Sep 11, 2012 6:32 am

Yarrr...

Dear CEO,

Just thought I'd letting' ye know, that the Portsmouth Patent office may be payin ye fine establishment a little visit soon.They be havin' a few queries about the origins of ye stew (yarr..not that I mentioned it or anythink).

I'd probably be changin' yer billboards plastered all over Portsmouth, or a mystery crew might be doin a few creative edits to make it look like land lubber food.

Happy to share in any profits and royalties matey.
Plus, Oi've always fancied that galleon ye got parked in yet driveway.

Warmest Regards,

Captain Dave 'The Originator of the stew' L
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart on Tue Sep 11, 2012 7:44 am

:shocked:

Where's the Ubidoobyusses when ye wants em?
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Roland Deschain on Tue Sep 11, 2012 9:47 am

black bart wrote:...the Fish Heads in thee Fish Head Stoo...

Ye mean ter say that there be real fish in thee fish 'ead stoo? That be news ter me!
Roland Deschain - Half prophet, half gunslinger, all Pastafarian!

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby pieces o'nine on Tue Sep 11, 2012 10:21 pm

^ Yarrrgh, 'tis true. Oi 'as seen pitchers!

* shudders at thee memmerie *
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart on Thu Sep 13, 2012 8:05 am

Arrr I has discovered himportant hevidence wot disputes Cap'n Dave's claim to ave hinvented Fish Head Stoo:

Image

This cleerlee proves that thee Roman's were at it in 200 AD (and they liked fish heads).
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby DaveL on Thu Sep 13, 2012 8:09 am

YArrrr...

Oi thinks they were the originators of 'Garum' matey, which was a stinkier version of Fish Sauce. Apparently Rome was a very smelly place, due to the manufacture of garum.
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby pieces o'nine on Thu Sep 13, 2012 9:06 am

^ Oi beleeves hit were properly written "garrrrum". :fsm_yarr:
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart on Fri Sep 14, 2012 6:31 am

I rests me case yer honour...Oh yes never let it be said that Black Bart didn't know owe ta represent himself in a court o law...not many people ere will remember thee himfamouse case, many moons ago, when I was put on tryal fer me life...I used me sharp hinterlekt to defend meself in a case that went on fer months an months...I fought loik a lion in that ostile courtroom an thee outcome was never in any doubt....


I was Transported!
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Griffin on Sat Sep 15, 2012 3:59 am

black bart wrote:not many people ere will remember thee himfamouse case, many moons ago, when I was put on tryal fer me life...


I remembers, an' I remembers it 'appened many times. You lost a lot o' lives.
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart on Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:21 am

Griffin wrote:
black bart wrote:not many people ere will remember thee himfamouse case, many moons ago, when I was put on tryal fer me life...


I remembers, an' I remembers it 'appened many times. You lost a lot o' lives.


Arrrgh...that's why they call me Black Bart, the cat...I always lands on me feet...er, foot.
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby black bart on Tue Sep 18, 2012 7:49 am

Arrrrrrrgh... will I get into Royal trubble for postin this topless photo of Anne Boleyn?

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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby DaveL on Tue Sep 18, 2012 4:33 pm

YArrrr...

Nice photograph there matey, do ye think that's her best angle?
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby Griffin on Tue Sep 18, 2012 9:00 pm

That Lady 'as made a reel mess wiv the ketchupp.
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Re: PlayBilge Magazine and Centrefolds

Postby pieces o'nine on Tue Sep 18, 2012 10:40 pm

Whyfor doth her ladyshippe's nose to bleed forsooth?

(Be that where she e'en struck thee strawe on thee way down?)
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