The Person Below Me

[Rev. Rowan Redbeard]

My neighbor likes to play old British rock albums at full volume.


TPBM likes to play with their pet rock.

[Roy Hunter]

My pet rock is Dave Grohl, so yes.

No, I'm not. I hope the person below me is Ham Nox, that's another one we'd like to hear from.

She's on Bookface - she's fine. All growed up and stuff.

TPBM gets stoned on the weekend.

[Almighty Doer of Stuff]

I'm going to pretend Roy didn't post, and say how much I love my 23 pet rocks. Some of them are cuddly and I take them to bed. I received my first pet rock, the Byooniful Wock, when I was four years old. I asked for a "byooniful wock" (beautiful rock) for Christmas that year, and my mother just happened to have recently stopped by a gravestone sculptor's shop where they had a pile of scraps, and picked up a few for paperweights. Santa Claus (my mother) gave me a beautiful, flattish, wine-colored granite chunk spotted with black, and wrote "Vincent 1992" on the polished, smooth side in gold ink. My finding of it in my stocking is on home video. I took it out of my stocking and threw it aside. My mother said, "Vincent, what is that you just tossed away?" "Buwd theedthe" (bird seeds) was my reply. I thought it was a sealed, airtight plastic package of bird seeds, due to the unusual grain of the rock and having seen vaguely (only vaguely, I was oblivious to everything for most of my life, and still am to a certain extent) similar-looking packages of feed for my cockatiel, Waldo. She told me no, it was a beautiful rock, just like I asked for, and I was very happy indeed.

Sometime in the past year, my mother also gave me another, fairly-similarly-shaped piece of granite she got the same day, which is a very dark, ashy gray color. I call it the Ugliful Wock. I'm very fond of them both, and they're both very cuddly.

TPBM has Roy's account blocked via the forum software's blacklist.

[Ravi Oli]

I only Unsubscribed from his mailing lists... when I signed up for his "Penny For Your Thoughts" I thought he was going to pay me.

A funny thing happened to TPBM on the way to the forum.

[DavidH]

I didn't think it was funny at the time.

TPBM will manage to start the prologue.

[Ravi Oli]

You know I think I'll try something different and go for Episodes 4-6 first, then do 1-3.

TPBM has a death star wish.

[Roy Hunter]

Yes, and I find your lack of faith disturbing.

TPBM:

[black bart]

Yes...yet another handsome, talented, balding man.

TPBM has been assimilated:

[Ravi Oli]

Yes but only so I could give her ^ 2 of 9!!

TPBM is not a solar-powered sex-machine [like bart].

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

Yes but only so I could give her ^ 2 of 9!!

TPBM is not a solar-powered sex-machine [like bart].

Hay Ravi !
Did you Photoshop that camel toe ?

[Ravi Oli]

G'day Willyum
Your sight is obviously well on the mend. No I didn't 'shop 7 of 9 but I can't vouch for whoever put her up originally. All I did was resize her to fit. I admit though it may have influenced me to use that 1 of many images I found.

TPBM can't see the nose on their own face.

[DavidH]

Not so. If I shut one eye and sort of squint, I can see it as clear as the toe on a camel.

The person below keeps scrolling back and looking at that woman.

[Mad Willyum Bonney]

I find it difficult to imagine any male of our species blaming me for doing so .

TPBM is making a copy of that pic to place under his mattress.

[black bart]

I'll have do do a bit more photoshopping first. (I actually creeped myself out then).

TPBM is lost in Space.

[Roy Hunter]

Yup.

TPBM is bored at work.