Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved here

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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart on Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:07 am

Ravi Oli wrote:
black bart wrote:Dear Auntie

I be exceedinglee trubbled by thee image o thee young man above...

Arrrgghhh matey... iffin ye lookeded a little loike the yung lad an' a lot less loike yerself Oi reckun Arntie'd tickle yer fancy fer yer.


Wiv her beard she certainlee would matey an no mistake!!!
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Griffin on Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:54 pm

Deer Antwy Blackfiddle

Oi be 'avin terrribel trubbel wiv me teef. Me dentist h'insisted on paintin' em wite h'insted o' the yusual black. Wot can I do ter rectifiey the sityuassiun?

Yrs
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Auntie Blackbeard on Fri Aug 31, 2012 8:04 am

Dear Cap'n Treadmill-Worthless

I suggests ye visits thee Admiral Benbow on a Saturday Nite an refuse ta pay yer tab at thee end o thee nite...ye'll soon ave plenny o black teef!

Regards,

Auntie
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart on Mon Sep 03, 2012 8:22 am

Dear Auntie

Hever since I haquired a gyant tankard, me bar tabbe has been gallopin out orf all proporshun wiv me finaanshul status. Can yew reckomend a handy source o cash hadvancement wot I can pay orf in easy hinstallments over thee next forty years?

Yours

Bart
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby DavidH on Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:26 pm

Dear Bart,

Sail yer ship to Greece and borrow a million Cronans off of thee Germans. Yer'll get it easy.

Cap'n Dave
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart on Tue Sep 04, 2012 7:01 am

DavidH wrote:Dear Bart,

Sail yer ship to Greece and borrow a million Cronans off of thee Germans. Yer'll get it easy.

Cap'n Dave


That be thee best hadvice wot Aunty never gave...I shall komishun a Greek Trirem an float about Corphew semaphorin thee German Government for a small loan orf 8 Billion Euro-Cronans...they wont heven pause ta swallow thee sauerkraut.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Griffin on Fri Nov 23, 2012 2:13 am

Deer Anti BlackForestGateuax

I as ter hav the blud taken owtme arm termorrer. Can yr remind me, which way up thye will 'ang me didy wile they do it, h'ownlee between ye an' me, I am not too soor wot Oi got in me pokkets. I know Oi got nuffin between me ears but I'm no too boterred abow that. Also, wot siz cutlass will they use?

Your s not ('hat least OI downt fink I am)

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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard on Fri Nov 23, 2012 2:24 am

Dear Aunty Blackbeard,

The woman I love and have been with for nigh onto three years has come to the conclusion that she isn't in a position to be involved in a long-term relationship.

As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with her.



What do I do now?

—Captain the Reverend C.S. Rowan, Esquire., Gentleman Pirate
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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The poster takes no responsibility for any offense taken where none was meant.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby bacon on Tue Nov 27, 2012 12:16 pm

Deoir Anntee B,

Me froind allwees fergets ta soive sour cream wif da potato skoins . . . Wut cin Oi do ta help 'im ta rememmmmbargh?

Fank ye,

Me
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart on Wed Nov 28, 2012 9:16 am

Deer Auntie Black Sausage

Wot thee ell be sower creeem?

Can ye put it in thee Fyshe Heade Stooo?

Yours Nautically

A Salty Sea Dogge
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby bacon on Thu Nov 29, 2012 10:13 am

Deer Anntiee,

Bart's feesh hed stoo haid sum strainge whyte goo oin it. :shocked:

Oi'm scaryed.

- Bacon
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Roy Hunter on Mon Dec 31, 2012 1:29 pm

Dear Auntie,

Some blaggard gave me shower gel and bubble bath for Monkey.

Does this mean I have to start washing?

*scratch scratch*

Roy.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby black bart on Wed Jan 02, 2013 8:15 am

Dear Auntie

Referrin to thee larghst person's henquiree...

I got some shower gel larghst Monkey an I has refoosed ta yoose it so far...

a.Will it elp wiv thee smell?

b.Will it lather up wiv salt water?

c.Owe do I gets me pants orf after all these years?
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Auntie Blackbeard on Wed Jan 02, 2013 9:19 am

Dear Stinky Pants

Didn't yer deeeeeeer ol muvver tell ye ta take a bath at least once a year...whether ye needs it or not. :furious:

I should be grateful me Agony Auntin is on a distance comoonikashun basis!
Ye Crows Nest be open fer business me dearies.
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Re: Dear Auntie Blackbeard... Yer piratical problems solved

Postby Griffin on Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:48 am

Dear Anty Black Puddin'

Wy is ther such a lot o' nastee smells in 'ere? Me new pet dog wot I got "just" fer Monkey wer all confused. (That wer befoor 'e 'ad ter be put down fer Twelth Nite. )

Yoors

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