10,000 (more) Commandments

This board is NOT restricted access. Keep that in mind when you post.

Moderator: Other Stuff Mods

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Wed Oct 17, 2012 8:56 am

9113: Windows hath *not* discovered new hardware - I went unto the shops (or the internets) and bought new hardware, then I plugged it in to you, you self-centred smug git of a computer.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15703
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:08 am

^ :lol:
9112: Thou shalt shun the evil 'Windows' and thou shalt take up thine ipad and walk.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby la la on Fri Oct 19, 2012 9:52 am

9111: Thou shalt remember that to forget to include the bacon bits in thy delicious quiche is a grave offense and will lead to much heartache and mild ostracism. Thou shalt then have to promise to never ever forget the bacon bits again.
"There's a hell of a good universe next door, let's go!" e e cummings

"And the new day was a great big fish." Terry Pratchett

"WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?" Terry Pratchett (yes again, I'm afraid. He's my absolute favourite author)
User avatar
la la
Fusilli Fuselier
 
Posts: 144
Joined: Sat Jul 14, 2012 8:44 am
Location: Cape Town, South Africa

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby DavidH on Fri Oct 19, 2012 2:41 pm

9110 Thou shalt not offer the quiche unto the rabbi, nor into the imam, unless the bacon bits be not therein.
Image
User avatar
DavidH
Tagliatelle Trainee Monk
 
Posts: 4410
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:23 pm
Location: Herefordshire, Western England

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Mon Oct 22, 2012 8:38 am

9109: Thou shalt not serve 'Chicken Cordon Bleu' to thine Muslim wedding guests. :facewall:
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Mon Jan 07, 2013 6:59 am

9108: Thou shalt not seriously piss off thine senior management.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Almighty Doer of Stuff on Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:21 am

9107: Thou shalt seriously piss off! Seriously! :furious:
!!!@#@#@#@#@!!! CAUTION: THIS PERSON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT. DISREGARD ANY APPEALS TO AUTHORITY, EXPERIENCE, OR ROMANTIC PROWESS. ANY CORRECT INFORMATION YOU RECEIVE FROM THIS MAN IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. !!!@#@#@#@#@!!!
-------------------------------
The Almighty Website of Stuff
-------------------------------
Download The Loose Canon, a deliciously holy book compiled by members of Our Noodly Lord's congregation!
-------------------------------
Image
User avatar
Almighty Doer of Stuff
Brewmeister
 
Posts: 1932
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 8:13 am
Location: Massachusetts

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:17 am

Almighty Doer of Stuff wrote:9107: Thou shalt seriously piss off! Seriously! :furious:


?????

9106: Thou shalt go and throw thineself over the gunnels.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Roy Hunter on Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:16 am

9105: Thou shalt not leave Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers left over from Monkey on my desk when I come back to work after the holidays.

9104: Thou shalt take down the Christmas decorations in the office when thou art supposed to, thou bunch of slackers.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.
User avatar
Roy Hunter
If it's not Scottish, it's crap.
 
Posts: 15703
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:13 pm
Location: It's the place where you are, but that's not important right now.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Almighty Doer of Stuff on Tue Jan 08, 2013 3:34 pm

black bart wrote:?????


:nefyoobash:

9103: Thou shalt confuse Black Bart and bonk him on the head.

:nefyoobash: :nefyoobash: :nefyoobash:
!!!@#@#@#@#@!!! CAUTION: THIS PERSON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT. DISREGARD ANY APPEALS TO AUTHORITY, EXPERIENCE, OR ROMANTIC PROWESS. ANY CORRECT INFORMATION YOU RECEIVE FROM THIS MAN IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. !!!@#@#@#@#@!!!
-------------------------------
The Almighty Website of Stuff
-------------------------------
Download The Loose Canon, a deliciously holy book compiled by members of Our Noodly Lord's congregation!
-------------------------------
Image
User avatar
Almighty Doer of Stuff
Brewmeister
 
Posts: 1932
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 8:13 am
Location: Massachusetts

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:53 am

9102: Thou shalt stand proudlee on thee poop deck wiv pompositee and purpose, looking at thee porpoyses and thee pilchards.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker on Wed Feb 06, 2013 4:00 pm

9101: Thou shalt pay attention when thou art shaving. If'n thou dost not and, for instance, beginneth daydreaming about whether B&Q sell titanium screws, then thou art liable to open thine face with thine razor.
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
User avatar
daftbeaker
Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
 
Posts: 11300
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:11 pm
Location: Surrey, England.

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby Almighty Doer of Stuff on Wed Feb 06, 2013 5:21 pm

9100: Thou shalt not attempt to shave with a fork. Thou shalt look very silly if thou doth.

9099: However, if thou hath a suitably sharp-edged knork, thou may shave with that.
!!!@#@#@#@#@!!! CAUTION: THIS PERSON DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT. DISREGARD ANY APPEALS TO AUTHORITY, EXPERIENCE, OR ROMANTIC PROWESS. ANY CORRECT INFORMATION YOU RECEIVE FROM THIS MAN IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. !!!@#@#@#@#@!!!
-------------------------------
The Almighty Website of Stuff
-------------------------------
Download The Loose Canon, a deliciously holy book compiled by members of Our Noodly Lord's congregation!
-------------------------------
Image
User avatar
Almighty Doer of Stuff
Brewmeister
 
Posts: 1932
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 8:13 am
Location: Massachusetts

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby black bart on Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:25 am

9098: Though shalt curse thine very gods that a downward motion of the razor never completes the job and thou must employ a dangerous upward motion which nicketh thine chops in sundry places.
The smoke wafted gently in the breeze across the poop deck and all seemed right in the world.
User avatar
black bart
Resident Weevil
 
Posts: 25876
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:56 am
Location: London

Re: 10,000 (more) Commandments

Postby daftbeaker on Fri Feb 08, 2013 6:05 pm

9097: Thou shalt not get bored with a split lip from the cold weather and try to peel off the dead skin. Verily, thou shalt end up peeling off live skin as well and spend 10 minutes removing blood from thine chin.
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything - Friedrich Nietzsche

But why is the rum gone?!
User avatar
daftbeaker
Help! I've fallen and can't get curry.
 
Posts: 11300
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:11 pm
Location: Surrey, England.

PreviousNext

Return to Games, Fun, and Jokes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: pastor_parmesan and 2 guests

cron