Red beans and rice

Foods to make in praise of our Blessed FSM, pasta based and otherwise.

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Helium Hands
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Red beans and rice

Postby Helium Hands » Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:21 am

So, I make a mean red beans and rice. My question to the group is this: If I make this in glory to his Holy Noodleage, will my red beans and rice be blessed by Him, even though it's not technically a pasta?
"You bypassed the Maginot line of logic and rationality and annexed the Sudetenland of irrational comparisons!"
-Unattrib

"We live in a world where John Lennon was murdered, yet Barry Manilow continues to put out fucking albums. God-dammit! If you're gonna kill somebody, have some fucking taste. I'll drive you to Kenny Rogers' house."
-Bill Hicks


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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:24 am

Pasta IS holy and all, but the FSM is pretty lenient. Also pretty drunk. He'd probably bless it without even realizing it isn't pasta. It's carbohydrates served up with something reddish, so that's close enough.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:28 am

I'd be all over that stuff if it wasn't about a thousand miles away. Guess I'll have to get Mrs.T to whip up a batch.
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

OK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.
-- Dr. Joy

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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby PKMKII » Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:56 am

ET, the Extra Terrestrial wrote:I'd be all over that stuff if it wasn't about a thousand miles away. Guess I'll have to get Mrs.T to whip up a batch.


So you could say then, that red beans and rice didn't miss her?
"How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better than we thought! The Universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even greater than we dreamed'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My god is a little god, and I want him to stay that way.'" - Carl Sagan

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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby Roy Hunter » Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:43 am

Helium Hands wrote:So, I make a mean red beans and rice. My question to the group is this: If I make this in glory to his Holy Noodleage, will my red beans and rice be blessed by Him, even though it's not technically a pasta?
We have flimsy moral standards. Not as flimsy as His, but still flimsy. If the Catholic Church can sell indulgences and keep all the money, but still claim that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle that it is for a rich man to enter heaven; then we can claim that the FSM blesses your holy plate of pasta even though it's made of rice and beans.

Be careful not to wander into the realms of transubstantiation, though. If you start claiming that the rice and beans actually turns into pasta (like the bread and wine actually does (or does not) turn into the body of Jesus), you might start a schism. Or the Reformation. Something like that, anyway.
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.

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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby Helium Hands » Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:47 am

Roy Hunter wrote:Be careful not to wander into the realms of transubstantiation, though. If you start claiming that the rice and beans actually turns into pasta (like the bread and wine actually does (or does not) turn into the body of Jesus), you might start a schism. Or the Reformation. Something like that, anyway.


What am I - Catholic?!
"You bypassed the Maginot line of logic and rationality and annexed the Sudetenland of irrational comparisons!"
-Unattrib

"We live in a world where John Lennon was murdered, yet Barry Manilow continues to put out fucking albums. God-dammit! If you're gonna kill somebody, have some fucking taste. I'll drive you to Kenny Rogers' house."
-Bill Hicks


I have come to love the "foe" feature - my own private banhammer.

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Rev. Rowan Redbeard
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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby Rev. Rowan Redbeard » Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:58 am

Helium Hands wrote:
Roy Hunter wrote:Be careful not to wander into the realms of transubstantiation, though. If you start claiming that the rice and beans actually turns into pasta (like the bread and wine actually does (or does not) turn into the body of Jesus), you might start a schism. Or the Reformation. Something like that, anyway.


What am I - Catholic?!


How should we know? We've only begun to get to know you.





On a side note, I hope we get to know much more of you.
—Captain the Reverend Lord C.S. Rowan, Lord of Glencoe, Minister of Pastafarianism, Gentleman Pirate

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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby Roy Hunter » Fri Feb 08, 2013 5:00 am

Helium Hands wrote:What am I - Catholic?!
Is this charades or twenty questions? :confused:
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.

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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby Helium Hands » Fri Feb 08, 2013 5:27 am

Roy Hunter wrote:
Helium Hands wrote:What am I - Catholic?!
Is this charades or twenty questions? :confused:


It's reverse 20 questions.
I ask you yes/no questions about me, and you respond with what you imagine that I might be or not be. In this way, we can build a brand new me from the ground up!
"You bypassed the Maginot line of logic and rationality and annexed the Sudetenland of irrational comparisons!"
-Unattrib

"We live in a world where John Lennon was murdered, yet Barry Manilow continues to put out fucking albums. God-dammit! If you're gonna kill somebody, have some fucking taste. I'll drive you to Kenny Rogers' house."
-Bill Hicks


I have come to love the "foe" feature - my own private banhammer.

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Roy Hunter
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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby Roy Hunter » Fri Feb 08, 2013 5:55 am

Games, Fun and Jokes. Hit the 'New Topic' button, start a thread and explain the rules. We'll play...
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel; but I am, so that's how it comes out." ~ Bill Hicks.
"To argue with a person who has renounced reason is like administering medicine to the dead." ~ Thomas Paine.
"One should not believe everything one reads on the internet." ~ Abraham Lincoln.
"If you're making a political point wearing a balaclava, you're a c***. It was true for the IRA and it's true now." ~ daftbeaker.

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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby DavidH » Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:08 am

Red beans make you fart. That is all.
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daftbeaker
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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby daftbeaker » Fri Feb 08, 2013 6:03 pm

DavidH wrote:Beans make you fart. That is all.

'tis to do with sugars that are undigestible by humans. They are however rather easily digested by bacteria in the gut that produce methane as a byproduct. Cue much bottom burping.

I know far more about the chemistry of farting than any reasonable person should know :confused:

Edit - Raffinose :scientist:
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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby black bart » Tue Feb 12, 2013 8:05 am

Now I understand Roy's Commandment.
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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby ET, the Extra Terrestrial » Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:26 am

there's an echo in here...
"Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens."
("Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.")
-- Friedrich Schiller (1759–1805)
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K Dick

OK, now let's look at four dimensions on the blackboard.
-- Dr. Joy

English isn't much of a language for swearing. When I studied Ancient Greek I was delighted to discover a single word - Rhaphanidosthai - which translates roughly as "Be thou thrust up the fundament with a radish for adultery."

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Helium Hands
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Re: Red beans and rice

Postby Helium Hands » Thu Feb 21, 2013 8:11 pm

I will be making a new batch on Saturday. Everybody is invited to partake. :haha:
"You bypassed the Maginot line of logic and rationality and annexed the Sudetenland of irrational comparisons!"
-Unattrib

"We live in a world where John Lennon was murdered, yet Barry Manilow continues to put out fucking albums. God-dammit! If you're gonna kill somebody, have some fucking taste. I'll drive you to Kenny Rogers' house."
-Bill Hicks


I have come to love the "foe" feature - my own private banhammer.


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