5:0The Seven Seals: The First Seal: Fideo
5:1Once the people have prayed for me, and I hear those prayers, after the seas doth begin to boil. 5:2And the scroll is in the boiling waters of the world. 5:3The first seal, the seal of Fideo shall be broken. 5:4And when that seal is broken all of the pasta sauces that have ever been made by man (and Pirate) shall pour forth from the scroll. 5:5And the boiling shall stop. 5:6And you might think to yourself, that's not that bad, but it is. 5:7Because all of the sauces that have ever been made. When the mixed together shall be bitter tasting. 5:8You may try to make it taste better, but it shall only work in your local vicinity. 5:9And for those in ships floating around in the oceans with no spices, shall forever be floating in bitter sauces. 5:10This is what shall happen when the first seal doth break. 5:11And in order to break the second seal, more prayers must be prayed unto me.
6:0The Seven Seals: The Second Seal: Spaghettini
6:1Then once these prayers have been heard, the second seal shall break. 6:2Once the seal has been broken Herbs and spices 10 times over what the amount should be shall cometh forth from thy scroll. 6:3Herbs and spices that are undercooked and overcooked and everywhere in between shall cometh forth from thy scroll. 6:4This shall make the sea of sauce (depending on who tastes it,) either bitter or tasting like grass clippings.
6:5In order to move beyond this more prayers must be prayed unto me.
7:0The Seven Seals: The Third Seal: Bucatini
7:1Then once these prayers have been heard, the third seal shall break.7:2When the third seal shall break the Beer (beverage) volcano shall have an eruption the size that of a super volcanic eruption. 7:3All of the beverages that flow forth from the volcano shall pour upon the Earth. 7:4Everyone may be drunken and happy BUT! 7:5The sea of sauces there shall mix with the beverages, and everything shall become stale and deflated and tasteless.
7:6The people of the world and most of all my people must persevere through all of this. 7:7In order to make this world a peaceful again.
7:8So, then more prayers must be heard. 7:9So pray faithfully, and wholeheartedly, unto me.
8:0 The Seven Seals: The Fourth Seal: Cu mian
8:1Then once these prayers have been heard, the Fourth seal shall break. 8:2Once the fourth seal has fallen from the scroll, the scroll shall spew forth rancid meats and spoiled veggies. 8:3This shall make the seas very un-tasteful. 8:4This shall cause strife amongst all who inhabit this earth.
8:5In order to stop this and make the world peaceful and tasty again. 8:6Then more prayers must be prayed unto me.
9:0The Seven Seals: The Fifth Seal: Biángbiáng
9:1Then once these prayers have been heard, the Fifth seal shall break. 9:2Upon breaking of thy fifth seal, thy seas shall start to simmer. 9:3For this, the sea of sauces shall take the heat of the sun in better (or worse, however you would think about it,) than water. 9:4This simmering of the sauces shall cause the sea of sauce, herbs (and spices), beer (beverages), and food items, to separate into their own levels. 9:5The food items shall sink all the way to the bottom. 9:6Then the herbs and spices shall lay on top of the food items. 9:7The sauces shall lie on top of the herbs and spices on top of the food items. 9:8Finally, the beer (beverages) shall lie on top of everything else. 9:9This may get all of ye babbling trunk. 9:10If ye can get past the taste of rotting food, pasta sauce, and massive herbage.
9:11STILL, we are not yet finished for we have two more seals to go. 9:12If all of ye want to pass from beyond the seal, to go back to normal before the boiling. 9:13Then more prayers must be prayed unto me.
10:0The Seven Seals: The Sixth Seal: Lasagne
10:1Then once these prayers have been heard, the Sixth seal shall break. 10:2When the sixth seal is broken, the beer (beverages) shall evaporate into the atmosphere. 10:3This shall give everyone an eternal buzz and/or sugar high. 10:4Everyone must persevere through this trial of the seals. 10:5All I need is one person to pray to me, but the more the merrier, I, your Almighty Lord sayeth to thee. 10:6So, then more prayers must be prayed unto me. 10:7In order to go and break the final seal. 10:8So, I, your Almighty Lord, made of heavenly pasta, can finally read what is on this damned scroll, and stop the horrors. 10:9To return the Earth to more peaceful days.
11:0The Seven Seals: The Seventh Seal: Cannelloni
11:1Then once these last prayers have been heard, the Seventh and final seal shall break. 11:2When the seventh seal has broken, the scroll shall unravel with a mighty radiant glow. 11:3The light that comes forth from this scroll shall have enough force to force out everything, but it shall have no effect on pure water. 11:4Then once every last vile thing that is in the ocean is expelled, the light shall fade. 11:5Then and only then may I, your Almighty pasta Lord, shall be able to read what is on the scroll. 11:6For, I cannot remember how to fix it in the first place. 11:7Because I am always too wasted to remember anything. 11:8Then once I have finally read this scroll, I, the Almighty pasta Lord, shall finally remember what I did countless times before, and I shall do it again. 11:9Upon putting the Earth in its rightful place, once again, the scroll shall float out from the oceans, and when the scroll reaches the surface, it shall shine once again. 11:10For no man; nor pirate shall be able to lay eyes upon the scroll and read what it says. 11:11Then the scroll upon entering the sky, shall seal itself with The Seven Seals of Pasta, yet again. 11:12Upon doing so it shall return to my side, and not be plunged into the oceans of the Earth until the next super planetary alignment of the entire solar system. 11:13For which, even though I'm Almighty, I do not know when that shall happen next. 11:14But when it does happen next time the scroll shall leave my side and repeat the process all over again. 11:15For I might be too wasted to remember anything. 11:16Because right now, Ragax, I am telling you this in a moment of sober clarity, and this is something I just remembered. 11:17So now, Ragax, wake up, write it down, and instead of reading it out to the Pastafarian congregation of today. 11:18Save it, so that a future generation of Pastafarians may be able to find it. 11:19Because it is there more for them in the future. 11:20Than it is for the people of today like you, Ragax.
is the name.
Oh, here is a list of things that I have writin: Click the link->The Book of Dechujoh.: Letter to the Risians. (14 Chapters.) has been writin Letter to the Udonites. (2 Chpts.) has been writin Letters between D and M the Udonite. (6 Chpts)has been writin Letters to the Fiorites
is next. Started on.Revelations 3: The Scroll of the 7 Sealed Pastas(17 Chpts)has been writin