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pieces o'nine wrote:A man is trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him. So the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him. By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road. The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him. The driver rolls down the window. The driver is a squirrel.
The squirrel says to the man, "See, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?"
PKMKII wrote:Modern psychological disorders:
Domi Buxum Muneris Paranoia Syndrome.
A condition that afflicts people too cheap to get HBO and so wait for the DVD box sets of HBO shows to come out. Sufferers develop a fear of spoilers that inhibits their ability to interact with the outside world. Mild, beginning stages of DMBPS include inability to go onto any websites dedicated to the show. As the disease progresses, sufferers stop visiting general entertainment websites, followed by news sites, social media sites, e-mail, and eventually the entire Internet. Severe cases see sufferers shutting out all television and printed media, and sometimes blocking out all social interaction.
Symptoms include refusal to look at that funny thing you found on the Internet, and plugging their ears and yelling "LA LA LA LA" when the words "stark" or "boardwalk" are mentioned.
Craig Ferguson wrote:The last thing we want is a Glaswegian with nukes. "Dih yew look ah me? Dih yew look ah me!? GET TEH NEWKS!!! GET TEH NEWKS!!!"
PKMKII wrote:Craig Ferguson wrote:The last thing we want is a Glaswegian with nukes. "Dih yew look ah me? Dih yew look ah me!? GET TEH NEWKS!!! GET TEH NEWKS!!!"
Actually... no. They build our nuclear submarines at Barrow-In-Furness in Cumbria. The missiles are built in Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado, and we buy them from the Americans. The warheads are built in (I am led to believe) Nevada, and we lease them from the Americans.black bart wrote:PKMKII wrote:Craig Ferguson wrote:The last thing we want is a Glaswegian with nukes. "Dih yew look ah me? Dih yew look ah me!? GET TEH NEWKS!!! GET TEH NEWKS!!!"
Tis too late...they build our nukes up in Scotland!
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